Limer-Icks
November 8, 2012 There once was a wedding confection
That failed the bride's final inspection
So we grabbed an airbrush
Painted it in a rush
;)
And told Yanks it was for their election!
I'm finding it rather outrageous
That I have to spend some of my wages
On a cake for my Dad
Of a girl, partly clad
;)
Is it me, or does she look contagious?
I hope you don't find me neurotic
But I'm sure my new heart is necrotic
It rattles and shakes
And I think that it's cake...
;)
Did I mention my surgeon's psychotic?
Clap your hands for poor Tinkerbell
A bee sting has caused her to swell
Grab a fresh EpiPen
And inject her again
;)
For she's really just not looking well.
If you just can't spell "congratulations"
And your piping skills won't win ovations
You should find a career
Where you won't end up here
;)
;)
;)
Or at least take extended vacations.
I once saw a cake in Nantucket
That had frosting applied by the bucket
Though it's called a nice gift
It's too heavy to lift
;)
So I guess that I'll just have to chuck it.
Thanks to Fiona N., Annabelle K., Melissa J., Michael C., Miranda B., Wendy R., Erika H., and Arlene for making me speak in rhyme all day. (Hey guys, are there rocks ahead?)
Reader Comments (81)
Bahahaha got some much needed laughs(been campining out at my cousin's apt after the sorm, not sure when I will be going home.)
Should have said STORM
To enjoy that last cake-cornucopia,
Would require a bad case of myopia:
Surely someone's deluded --
That frosting's extruded,
And the texture ends up looking soapier.
(Well, imagine Stephen Fry reading it...)
2nd one looks like a minion....
Is it just me, or does that torso look like Patrick with goggles and a poor excuse for a snorkel?
Trekkie Gal and anyone else who don't understand the "Are there rocks ahead line" You really ought to see "The Princess Bride" Really, I have never met anyone who saw it that didn't love it.
Oh yeah... The Princess Bride! I haven't seen it in years, forgot all about the rhymers. Time to watch it again. :-)
My daughter's comment on the heart cake:
"You're not fooling anyone, big orange blob!"
You have a wonderful gift for rhyme! It's almost inconceivable! Hmmmm, does that mean what I think it means? Never mind. Anybody want a peanut?
Sharyn, you wrote a wonderful post! I just loved it.
There once was a baker named Tad
Who needed a cake for his dad
He said, "Well, of course-o
I'll bake him a torso!"
Who dreamed it would turn out so bad?
I'm going into a diabetic coma just looking at that last cake. And poor, poor Tinkerbell...wow.
well...so I'm not nuts...(well..maybe a little) 'cause I was sure this post's author was listed as Jen when I posted ... now I see the correction and it's actually by Sharyn! One re-write comin' up:
Thanks for keeping limericks alive,
A lost art, for which many strive,
You've given us laughs
With these bakery gaffes...
For you, clever Sharyn, a high five!
@SuBee: so good to see you on the playground again!!
Actually, I think that the 'Tinkerbell' cake looks a lot more like Eleanor from the Chipettes.
And thanks so much to Sharyn & all the commentators for all of the Princess Brides rhymes/quotes! My 12-yr-old daughter and I couldn't stop laughing!!
I am trying to figure out what shape of cake pan was used for poor Tinkerbell, and what it is actually supposed to be used for. Even the pan from the other day wouldn't have looked worse!
Pubes on a cake! No thanks. I don't care if they're real or not. :P I don't know where that cake came from, but it's definitely not Brazilian!
@SuBee Omigoodness, when I first read the cornocopia of poop line, I thought "That doesn't rhyme.....ohhhhHHHHHHHH!!!" Now I'm going to giggle at inappropriate times tomorrow.
There once was a fairy whose glands
Made difficult her flying plans
Her problem with girth
Dropped her down back to Earth
Lay off of the Pilsbury Grands
I came to this site for diversion;
A jolly good wrecky excursion,
But these cakes you have here
Offend all I hold dear.
I believe I shall faint! Fetch a surgeon!
I thought the heart cake was going to be "heart-shaped", but no, it's a actual human heart in cake form. That's pretty cool.
The icing mistake reading "Convatulaions" is presumably for a vampire.
Wow! Is there ANY actual cake material in the last one? I mean, it's pretty, but it's a mouthful of powdered sugar! Too funny.
Yeah you featured my photo!! Cant believe they were charging £320 for that!!! I hadn't even noticed when I sent it in!
That fifth one is obviously for a zoo resident having recently completed a degree-by-correspondence program. "CongratuLION!"
That heart cake made me jump. EWWWWWWWWWWWW
That Tinkerbell cake is making me think of Martin Short in that old 90's move, Pure Luck. The part where he gets stung by a bee and starts swelling up like a balloon. ha ha ha!
Congratulion Zoll ...
i think that first cake would be a cake wreck even with out the airbrushing.
"Congvatulations" is my new favorite word. Go on, tell me that's not fun to say: conGVATulations! Try it with a Yiddish accent. Awesome.
Ugh, all these comments! TL;DR. Or, in other words, I "skipped to the end!"
Just wanted to add that when my 3-year-old son saw the Tinkerbell cake, he immediately pointed and said "rhinoceros". Just sayin'.
Well, I'm glad Jen posted an explanation about changing the author tag line! Of course it properly credits Sharyn now, but the first dozen or so posts were like "Great, Jen!", "Terrific, Jen!" and I'm thinking are they all BLIND?! How could they see the wrecks and not see who wrote this fantastic TPB post?! ;-)
And kudos to SuBee for all the incredible limericks! I think you deserve the "best commentator of the day" award, with lots of frosting on top! (In fact, maybe you should do limericks every day like Sharyn does songs! :-)
The word
Congratulation
is a funny word to spell out...
When I'm at work, so often if someone has to write this almost always ask "Is it with G or with T?"
What is that even mean?? There's only one congratulation... and then someone would say "Oh, I thought if it's a grad, you can write congradulation."
And I always say "NO, there's only ONE CONGRATULATION!!!" aiya... I mean say it outloud and see if there's a sound G in it!??