ARRRRGH
January 30, 2012 "So, Kristen, sweetie, how was school?"
"Fine."
"Anything fun happen?"
"No."
"Are you looking forward to your party this weekend?"
"I guess."
"Aw, c'mon, it's your sixteenth birthday! This is a big deal! How about I order you a nice frilly pink cake with lots of ribbons and bows and puppies on it? Huh? Would you like that?"
"MOTHER."
"What?"
"NO."
"Well, what kind of cake do you WANT me to order, then? Just tell me!"
"Something to communicate the utter futility of modern existence."
"...."
"And NO BOWS."
"Er... So you want like a skull and crossbones or something?"
"Just the skull."
"Right. Er...ok! Great! We'll just work in a fun pirate theme!"
"Whatever."
;)
Many thanks to mom Karen G., who was told a "full-size, realistic skull" would be no problem, and got this instead. Though to be fair, I'm sure Kristen appreciated all the pink.
Reader Comments (53)
Funny how "full size" and "realistic skull" translates to "feminine napkin that mocks you".
It's a tooth wearing a skirt, actually.
Obviously, Karen didn't specify that she wanted a depiction of a HUMAN skull.
Skull and Crossbones, yes. Pink, no. LOL
Wow, I feel sorry for Kristen... and Karen for paying for that when she asked for a realistic skull. Though at least Karen got a cakewreck post out of it.
Though I must admit, if that skull were on a cupcake somewhere, I would probably buy the cupcake. It's kind of cute. Preferrably without the pink.
Poor Kristen! I'm sure this will come up in therapy sessions in the future.
Nothing says full sized, realistic skull like a smiling peanut.
Umm . . . they did know it was supposed to be a human skull, and not a monkey skull, right? Not that it's full sized or realistic either way.
The following year...
"Hi Friends! As you all know, Kristen's 17th birthday is almost here! Next Saturday, we'd love it if you'd join us at 4:00 for pie and ice cream. In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to help defray the cost of Kristen's therapy -- it's really added up in the last year. See you Saturday!"
Ah, but she didn't specify the skull of WHAT...this appears to be the skull of a baby Moomin.....
Today is my daughter's 16th birthday and as soon as I'm finished typing this, I am going to attempt to replicate this. I must hurry before she gets home from school.
On second thought, it probably won't take me that long.
Happy birthday, Sweet Sixteen!
Full size, realistic skull... wahahaha, I love it.
Skull? It looks like a peanut. *shakes head*
Poor Kristen-teen angst
Ruined by pink, squished face
No skulls here, honey
I also think it looks like a peanut with eye and nostril dots... had to squint my eyes and tilt my head before I could even immagine this as an abstract skull. I hope she did not pay for this. The poor girl. If this was my daughter's cake, she would have burst out lauging and asked, "Ok, mom, joke's over. Where's my REAL cake?"
It looks like a cracked peanut.
Simulacra? No.
We grind our teeth in despair.
Memento mori.
SuBee
Assuming that your daughter is a Cake Wrecks fan (and really, who isn't?) You are the best mother EVER! Happy Sweet Sixteen SuBee's daughter!
@Fluffy Cow - we need to be best friends. Hilarious comment!
Bwahahaha poor kid-who does these things, disabled monkeys???
I'm considering a girly skull cake for my daughters birthday. Perhaps you could feature a sweets version done right, cause even I could do better than this on no sleep, one handed, holding wiggly baby daughter...
@ Fluffy Cow: Bwah ha ha ha!!! Too funny!
That makes me think that this cake would be a great accompaniment to the happy period letter.
Nihilism and cake just don't mix.
I'm trying to picture a cake that Kristin would have approved-- solid gray icing, no borders or roses, with a frozen buttercream transfer of a realistic skull on top and "memento mori" (all lowercase to emphasize how little anyone cares about this whole enterprise) printed around the sides-- and in the end it's still a cake.
A cake is joy and sustenance rolled together in a celebration of life. A cake doesn't worry that there is no foundation for knowledge, ethics or justice, because it's too busy being delicious. How different things would have been for Turgenev and Nietzsche if they had been able to enjoy cake! They tried, mind you, but it always got caught up in their mustaches before they could taste it. So sad.
Where was I?
Oh, right, the wreck. You can tell it's a realistic skull because it tapers inward between the cranium and the jaw. A cartoon skull would just be an oval. See? Effort!
@fluffycow - bwahahaha!!!
@Fluffy Cow - it does look like a smiling panty liner. The perfect cake for that "not so fresh" feeling.
Kristin: Give me a skull, I really mean it!
Baker: Anybody want a peanut?
@Me - the perfect Girly Skull Cake is found in the related posts! Me want!
Am I having de ja vu? or was this brought to your attention on facebook? I'm FREAKING OUT cus it's familiar and it's monday... so I know I'm already mentally more challenged then usual LOL
@zoomoom, this letter made my day!
Happy period!
Fluffy Cow had me cracking up, too!
Hey, at least there aren't any bows on it.
@FluffyCow spot on LOL
Maybe this is a faithful rendition of the wreckerator's head, while grinning and bearing it.
This is a PERFECT bakery expression of 'something to communicate the utter futility of modern existence'. Could only be bettered by having the words "just a skull and no bows" instead of the.. ..peanut.
At first, I was like..."Why is that lightbulb wearing a scarf???"
i'm totally seeing a ghost, wearing an ammo-belt.
dang....i wish i would have seen this before my daughters turned 16. imagine the fun i could have had!!!
Thanks! my daughter wanted a skull cake for her birthday..... I showed her this one and now she's rethinking her options! hehe!
I'm always looking for good decorating ideas for International Talk Like a Pirate Day so couldn't wait to see the skull...but I'm still looking. Maybe if there was International Scary Peanut Day...
"It's the Mr. Skullhead Show! Starring him, Mr. Skullhead! 'Cause it's his show he has, Mr. Skullhead!"
hilarious! that cake does, to me anyway, "communicate the utter futility of modern existence"
oI @fluffycow - on the bright side...no wings on that thar pad -
That said....Hail to the Vee ;) heheheheeeee
It's possible to find some really awesome pink skull looks, both girly and menacing. Just a google search for "pink skull cake" turns up this:
http://www.squidoo.com/pink-skull-birthday-cake-and-cupcakes-ideas?utm_source=google&utm_medium=imgres&utm_campaign=framebuster
Of course, this assumes that your baker isn't a drunken ninny who will instead provide you with a limbless, four-nippled torso wearing a hula skirt.
I actually like this cake ... until I read the comment about the skull looking more like a mocking feminine napkin. Then this cake took on a whole new absorbency. :)
Wish there was a rotate button so I could see this upside down. I bet the cake would look much better and make more sense. Or not.
We don't need no dikshunary
Or stuff like quality control
Existance void of sense or meaning
Hey, people! Leave the wrecks alone!
All in all, sugar rush hits the wall
Oh, wrong Pink?
okay, that baker didn't even try! I would have left that pathetic cake at the bakery.
Maybe it's Mr. Peanut's skull...skeleton...whatever.
Always makes me laugh!!
Fluffycow, I love you!
zoomom, that letter made me laugh so hard!!!
Guess the baker just had a really bad day and didn't know that a skull does not look like a lightbulb with legs lol or teeth for that matter. At least she got pink on there unless this poor girl asked for purple then this could be a catastrophe. Cannot stop giggling.
I could toatlly see my daughter and I having this exact conversation! However,as ardent creationists, a simian skull would doom our relationship forever!
Am I the only one, who at seeing the thumbnail of this cake, thought it looked like a windows hourglass on the cake?