Friday
Sep162011
Market "Shares"
September 16, 2011 When it comes to advertising their goods, this bakery knows just how to squeak by:
;)
IT'S A TRAP!!
Of course, not every label can be so appetizing:
;)
Because "Ball Sack" was just a little too formal.
And speaking of Balzac...
;)
Let's be realistic: It's French. No one will notice.
Now here's a place that knows just how to garner the most business with their promotional mailers:
;)
Yep, blurring out their contact information was definitely the right move.
And finally, this bakery gets the gold star for truth in advertising:
;)
Hey, you can't say they didn't warn you.
Thanks to Michelle M., Julie M., Tiffany H., Naveed & Athena, & Kristen Y. for signing us up.
Reader Comments (90)
Color me clueless, but what's wrong with the first pic?
Looks like it is from It's a Grind, my fave neighborhood coffee joint.
Hey, I'm "first"! Anyway, I don't really get some of these; hopefully "somebody" will explain more...
#1 Maybe this one should have received the 'truth in advertising' award.
#2 The physics of 'hole pile' are mind-bending.
#3 If you really want to have fun with these people, ask them how 'croisintis' is pronounced. After they parrot what they have heard other people say, ask how that could possibly be obtained from what is written. Then either duck and run or bask in the blank stare.
Ok, it's seriously early (or late, depending on one's point of view) but do you mean to say that the mailer in #4 went out exactly like that? I see nothing wrong with it apart from the missing contact info (he said, with great trepidation, knowing that if there is the slightest defect, 1,000,000,000 other commenters will see it instantly). I clicked on it -- they even managed to spell 'congratulations' correctly. What is more, I now want donuts, ice cream and yogurt. Did I mention it's still dark out?
#5 What could "free" possibly mean if it isn't literal? Some nefarious agenda, perhaps? Maybe in exchange for it being 'free' you have to put up with them leaving out a random letter.
I almost snorted my milk and cereal out my nose when I read the second one! A good giggle in the morning is such a great way to start the day!
I can't believe someone decided to call the second offering a "hole pile," then proceeded to write "hole pile" on a little card, then placed the tiny "hole pile" sign in the display case and never once thought to himself, "well, that doesn't sound appealing. I think I need a better name...like 'hole mound' or 'donut dump.'"
Interesting fact:
Croisintis was a great Lithuanian poet of the 17th century.
Well, that's one way to handle mouse droppings. :-O
Re "ball sacks," did you guys hear that Ben & Jerry's just introduced Schweddy Balls Ice Cream, based on the classic SNL skit with Alec Baldwin? I kid you not. Good times, good times.
Re the last cake, besides the missing "r," anyone else bugged by the quotation marks? How about a blog post about quotes on cakes, Jen?
We'll "go" somewhere else four hour cakes. Thanks for the warning
I died laughing after "Ball Sack".
I don't think I really want to try a me cake, even if it is "free."
They actually put that cake in their AD? Oh my.
I saw potato chip roses on that grad cake. And I use the term cake loosely.
Very loosely.
"Truth" in advertising...
At $4.25 a slice, I want there to be a rat in my cake, not a measly little mouse.
@ Craig: re #4, read the cake, not the flyer text. Heck, just LOOK at the cake.
@ Anni & Ady: Mouse is a tiny little critter with whiskers that is rumored to like cheese. Mousse is a yummy, fluffy dessert/filling. I think the hole pile has been covered.
ok, 4th picture down...what in the world is "thrifty ice cream"??? and really (1st pic), "Mouse" cake?? i don't want a cake made out of chocolate mice! c'mon people!!
With the crackdown on the excessive use of the letter R, it was either going to be "We Will Personalize You Cake for Free" or "We Will Personalize Your Cake for Fee."
In business, FREE always brings the customers in.
I would so order a hole pile.
Croisintis sounds like a disease....
LOL @ J.! I heard that on the news about Schweddy Balls ice cream. Loved that skit. Although I wonder...donut holes...hole pile...maybe they could have been having fun with homophones? Meh, probably not! Still funny!
I did NOT look at the cake in the ad! So, I totally missed it. I kept wondering what was wrong with the ad. :-)
Yes, the cake on that ad is just terrible. But, I am impressed that they properly hyphenated "freshly-made donuts". That's a rarity to be noted and praised. Any cake you order from them may be ugly, but it might just be properly punctuated!
1. I never understand why people constantly get that one wrong by opting for "mouse" -- based on how it's pronounced, wouldn't they spell it "Moose?" Put it on a plate with a nice spiral of raspberry coulis and it could even be "Moose and Swirl." (Actually, I'd eat at any place that named a dessert "Mousse and Swirl...)
2. That's an oxymoron.
3. OK, that IS an egregious misspelling, but not the way you think. They meant to spell "croisinitis". That's an elbow condition caused by buttering croissants. To avoid croisinitis, buy the garlic texas toast -- it's already buttered.
4. I guess that would be called a "mortar bored."
5." I'd like to pay for me cake's "free" personalization with this $3.00 bill, please. What? Of course, it's "real."
100% true story. I had a dream last night that I saw a sign at my grocery store bakery that was so bad I said, "I need to take a picture of this and send it to Jen." Looks like dreams really do come true.
I know someone else has seen it, but "thrifty ice cream"? I'm all for cheap, but is that really the best way to market their product. And to send out the ad with blurred contact info? I assumed you had done that--how could the company miss that? Can you imagine their reaction when they saw it in the paper?
@ Craig--I, too, was trying to figure out how you'd make a pile of holes. Do they collapse onto each other? Create one big hole? If not, how do they stay separate? Mind bending for sure.
Great post today!
The last one clearly comes from a combination bakery-tattoo parlor offering a two-for-one promotion: "We personalize you; cake for free." Given their poor grasp of punctuation, I'd prefer not to let them write on my body or my cake; but free is free, I guess (except when it's "free").
Add me to the hole pile of people who didn't look at the cake on the flyer at first. That mortarboard is more like a mortarnoodle.
Other than being poor graphics, they don't know how to use hypens. You do not use a hypen with an "ly" adverb for one thing. The Take-out hypen is more controversial. Usually one would ask for a take-out order, but one might ask for Take Out. So sez Miz Picky
And they WANT people to buy those things??? D:
#4 - Since you could not see the entire top of the cake - I thought they were spelling out "congratulations" and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Of course - it is a pretty ugly ad all on its own, so that maybe the real problem. Am I missing something else?
Now I want a donut and some "thrifty ice cream".
Thrifty's Ice Cream:
Founded 1919
About Home of the cylindrical ice cream scoop!
Company Overview In 1919, brothers Harry and Robert Borun, with brother-in-law Norman Levin founded Borun Brothers a Los Angeles, California drug wholesaler. In 1929, they opened their own retail outlets under the name Thrifty Cut Rate in Los Angeles, California.
By 1942, Thrifty Drug Stores had 58 stores.
Products Thrifty's Ice Cream and the giant Tube Tester
those croisintis sounds like some sort of inflammation...
and what, pray tell, is "thrifty" ice cream??
Norine -
Do you mean "hyphen?"
- Miz Picky :)
Oh, Norine, I'm hanging my head in shame. I thought they had it right. Though, personally, I still prefer to hyphenate any two words acting as a single modifier, regardless of the "ly" rule. (And this thread just turned into the non-entertaining kind of nerdy for everyone else.)
"Croisintis", whew! I thought they wrote "Croisinitis". That extra "i" makes all the difference. I met a woman in a bar who gave me croisinitis. I took three different antibiotics and a hyperbaric chamber to clear it up.
Aside from the genius move of removing their own contact info, that is the cake they choose to put on the flier?? It looks like the baker was drunk!
I could go for a chocolate mouse with some peanut butter, or some mousse with chocolate chips. meanwhile, Thrifty Ice Cream comes in Medieval Madness flavor. what could THAT be? (I'm an East Coaster so I never heard of them until today).
and if you try to google "Croisintis", links for croissants DO come up. but such a sad butchering of the name.
meanwhile. hole pile is most definitely an abbreviation of "donut hole pile." however, it still sounds terrible, and nothing sounds appealing when describes as a "pile." not even chocolate chips!
I know, I know!! In #3, it is missing an apostrophe. It is actually featuring Garlic Texas Toast made by someone named Croisinti.
The obvious way to request the first cake: "I'll have a slice without so much mouse in it." I wonder if they do anything with Spam...
On further examination, that cake in #4 is rather bogus. As I looked at the ad, I kept thinking, "they have donuts." Donuts forgive a multitude of sins.
"Mousse and Swirl" needs to be made and sold. Now.
Well I came back to it a few hours later and my brain didn't auto correct the mouse into mousse. Don't I feel silly.
BTW, Thrifty ice cream is delicious. I grew up in Southern California, and we would head to the drug store when we wanted ice cream. They had the coolest scooper-it was cylindrical shaped.
I think that Hole Pile should have been Whole Pile. This would indicate you get the whole pile o' stuff. Kind of like "a mess" of something, which is a good Southern term. Or, maybe donut hole was too hard to spell?
Whatever they meant, your comment on that one made me laugh out loud, Jen. Thanks for another good post!
I love the research (ie. Google searches) Cake Wrecks leads to. I always learn so much, um, truly necessary information.
Now I'm jealous I didn't grow up with 10 cent Thrifty ice cream in CA. And the cylindrical ice cream scoop totally looks like it should be the base for a steampunk gun!
Sharyn-- "Mousse and Swirl" is genious! :D
"Mousse and Swirl" for the win!!
Mousse and caramel swirl. Darn. Now I want ice cream and it's not even lunchtime yet. As for the chocolate mouse cake, has Ratatouille started a bakery in addition to a restaurant?
First comment ever, but I HAD to let you know how much I laughed at Croisintis and the comments about it. There is NO other blog (and commentators) as funny and witty as this one!
I still don't get what is wrong with the ad. Everything looks properly spelled. The cake looks a little hand-made, but still far beyond my own abilities, much better than a boring but perfect sheet cake, and not what I would consider wreck-tastic. It doesn't look phallic or scatalogical in any way. There are no half-eaten babies. I'm assuming that Jen grayed out the contact info and then joked about it.
What am I not seeing here? I feel like everyone's in on the joke but me.
For the advertising, at least we know we'll get a wreck. That cake is definitely sub par for a bakery cake. I can do better than that and I never took any baking or decorating class.
I think "hole pile" is a play on words. It's a pile of donut holes so it's a hole pile. Get a set amount (however many are in the pile) for one price. I'll pass on the mouse, thank you.
I LOVED Thrifty ice cream! We had Thriftys in AZ, too, and as a kid I would always beg my mom for some ice cream when we shopped there. Their mint chocolate was perfection.
To this day, I will stop and drool any time I see a sign proclaiming, "We have Thrifty ice cream."
"Moose and swirl" *snort* HA! Good times. Good times.
I had to do a double take on the croissant sign. My brain automatically filled in the correct spelling, so I was a little confused about what the issue was. I think they bought a few too many vowels.