I Guess The Butt Was Laughed Off?
June 3, 2011 I like Dexter. I know it's a horrible show and I shouldn't, but I do. (This is John, by the way. Jen claims she'd rather "exercise" than sit through a single episode. Harsh.) Still, there's one thing missing that I think would make Dexter truly great: puns.
Think about it. The occasional "good" CSI-style pun could transform Dexter from a pretty decent cop show about a psychopath who chops bad people up into little pieces and keeps blood in his air conditioner into a pretty decent cop show about a psychopath who chops bad people up into little pieces and keeps blood in his air conditioner...with puns.
Allow me to demonstrate. (With a little - ok, a lot - of help from Jen.)
Dexter: [serious look] "Well, I guess the killer didn't stop... to smell the roses."Random cop 2: "Oh, man! It looks like the victim's nose was sliced off with a cheese grater!"
Dexter: [putting on sunglasses] "Hmm. I smell a rat."
Dexter: [taking off sunglasses] "So you're saying he got a little...foot loose."
Dexter: [putting on sunglasses again] "Ab-solutely."
Dexter: [squinting] "So losing his marbles was the last thing to go through his mind."Random cops: [applauding]
Dexter: "Huh. Maybe the perp was looking to get a leg up on killings.""No? Ok...uh...
"This is a killer who never toes the line."
"Still no? Ok, ok, I got it:
"Looks like those little piggies went, 'Whee whee whee! We're DEAD.'"
Thanks to Kelly M., Joanne D., Jenny W., Emma R., & Anna I. for putting murder...on the menu.
Although I don't think I'll be eating again any time soon.
Reader Comments (113)
too funny :)
Another Dexter fan here! And I actually had very little trouble imagining the first two puns, at least, as something Dexter might say to himself in his voiceovers.
That "toe jams" cake is nightmare-inducing.
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I liked Dexter the first two seasons, then it kind of went far off the path. Those first two seasons actually had a lot of humor in them!
I LOVE DEXTER!!! Best show EVER!!!! =D The books are pretty great to
I know people say from time to time "I'm going to have nightmares" but for real last night, that last toe jam foot was in my dream!! and it was scary!!
Is it just me, or could anyone else hear the "CSI: Miami" wail (you know the one) after every single one of these puns? (WAIIIIILLLL!!!!!!!!!)
Excuse me?! Dexter is a "horrible" show?!?! BLASPHEMY!!
Re: Cake 1
Random cop comment: "Looks like something bad happened to the peonies"
Sorry, couldn't resist. The only thing better than a bad pun is a RUDE bad pun.
SarahRod was right about the last cake. It was made for my friend's mother who had already had a couple of toes amputated due to complications from diabetes and was having her leg amputated from just below the knee down. The patient was dressed as a pirate (peg leg) in the hospital before the surgery, and the cake went along with the theme. Yes, they are a family who has always dealt with trauma through humor whenever possible. That's one of the reasons that I love them all so much! FYI, I have recently spoken with the patient and she is doing well and thinking positively about going through physical therapy and getting her prosthetic leg eventually :) It made me smile to see the cake here!
What the bleep is number five? I do know what number six is though. DISTURBING.
No more toe
Jams
Yuck.
Oh ... I thought at first you meant Dexter's Laboratory - neeever miiind!
Eight six seven five three oh niii-ee-ine!