Friday
Jun172011
When "Falker Satherhood" Is Just Too Wordy
June 17, 2011 So, how do you tell your dad how much you appreciate him this Sunday?
Well, hopefully not like this:
"Fatters Day is kind of like Father's Day, only for fatties. So - and think carefully before you answer this - would you like a slice of cake, Dad?"
The moral here is if you add enough shredded coconut, no one will notice you wrote "Happy Fathday's Day."Of course, if you do write it wrong, the good news is you can always fix it:
*sigh*
Oh, hey! If your father's dad is named George, then this next one almost makes sense!
What? I said "almost."Now, brace yourself for my famous Goldmember impression in 3..2..
"My farza is toit loyk uh toyger! Schmoke and a pancake?"
[bowing] Thank you. Thank you very much.
Or, if you want to take it one step "ferther":
Ah, how I yearn for the day when I'll have a title* worthy of all-cap block letters."How are you, HER SUPREME CAKEY SNARK PERSON?"
"Fine, thanks."
"Gerald, have you met HER SUPREME CAKEY SNARK PERSON? She's quite snarky, you know."
"Yes, yes, I've known HER SUPREME CAKEY SNARK PERSON for years!"
Ok, so the actual title needs work, but I rather like it. Especially since it would give the impression that everyone talking about me has Tourette's.
Thanks to Anony M., Brenda Jo, Jessica I., Kristen R., Kristina, & Toni S. who ARE ALL AWESOME PEOPLE.
*Update from john: As far as we can tell, this cake was not made for a Haitian dictator.
Reader Comments (53)
"Happy ferther day François Duvalier"
wouldn't fit.
That last one is wierd - Papa Doc was a Haitian dictator!
I think we'd ALL be happy if George were our father.
WHAT is on that first cake, besides bad writing? I can't figure it out.
I have a friend who does an excellent Goldmember impression, but even he couldn't do it in print.
My hat's off to you, ma'am.
wait... the Papa Doc? I don't think the Haitians really want to wish him that happy of a falker satherhood...
I went into WalMart yesterday and there was an entire table of Father's Day cookie cakes (mmm....big cookie is my favorite kind of cookie) right up front. Every single one of them could have been categorized as a "wreck" for one reason or another. I didn't even bother taking any pictures. It was just too sad. I wonder if the bakers of the world all secretly hate their own fathers.
Are you getting submissions from Haiti? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fran%C3%A7ois_Duvalier
What? No farters day cakes?
Sprinkles make everything better...or coconut...whatever....
At first I thought that first one was a menorah for some reason. Then I realized that the silver orbs were roses and the poo menorah was actually poo foliage. It only could have been better with a " Happy Farter's Day" inscription.
i'm surprised you haven't shown any with the misspelling i did as a child once - happy farters day...it was early and spell check didn't catch it.
-mary
was "Doc" an afterthought? it's just floating in the corner...and why would you call someone Papa Doc anyway? is he a full-of-himself type that insists on his title of Dr. even from his kids? (those PhD types are like that).... unless the wreckerator misspelled "DOG", in which case Papa Dog is even weirder. he's either being insulted (philandering papa anyone?) or they're celebrating the fatherhood of their canine.
Funny but gutted you didn't find a farter's day cake =D
The coconut actually looks tasty-just badly worded. The others-I have no words O_o
I see I'm not the first to think of this, but you would think that Papa Doc Duvallier's kids could afford a nicer-looking cake than that.
Is it just me, or does it look like there's a poo menorah on the first one?
@Trevor: The first cake says "Happy Fatter's Day."
wv: dedag. "Dedag nabbin' cake is a wreck, Paw!"
Heh - George is my father's name. But he doesn't like cake.
In terms of titles that should be said in all caps, I've always favored LORD HIGH MUCKETY-MUCK. When I take over and become Benevolent Dictator of All the World, I plan to have people address me as that.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of Papa Doc Duvallier!
We is some edumacated people here at cakey wrex.
@Amy's Cooking Adventures: Really? Roses? I never would have come up with that, but you're probably right!
Y'know that saying, "He thinks his s*** doesn't stink?" It doesn't; it smells like roses!
wv: sualer Dad's a brave man if he can sualer a piece of that!
You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No?
Most Esteemed Jen,
Of course you're worthy of an all-caps title. I'm stunned you don't have one already.
While I like HER SUPREME CAKEY SNARK PERSON ("HSCSP" for short,) I think of you as SHE WHO BRINGS WRECKED CAKES TO LIGHT (SWBWCTL), or SHE WHO MAKES ME SNORT BEVERAGES ONTO MY POOR ABUSED KEYBOARD (SWMMSBOMPAK -- see, an acronym is handy for the long ones...)
You should start using an all-caps title today. Trust me, it'll change your life.
Sincerely, SWWIGAB
(SHE WHO WALKS IN GRACE AND BEAUTY) -- bestowed years ago once friends and family discovered what an unfettered klutz I am.
Aren't Hot dogs, burgers and beer likely to make you fart? Maybe it's supposed to be farters day, for the dad who is particularly flatulent...maybe?
I think the "farthers" day one was intentional...still funny, though. Nice impression, too.
*must work "smoke and a pancake" into conversation today...
I see I am not the only one who thought the 'adornment' on the first cake looked like a mangled menorah.
Falker Satherhood is a new greeting for Slartibartfast? Or a new relation? But I don't think he was a father.
All my cousins' kids call my uncle "Papa Doc". Although as far as I know they don't know about this website, so there must be someone else out there who calls a father figure "Papa Doc" too. :)
As a St. Louisan and a HUMAN BEING, I am embarrassed by the Happy Father's Dad cake. I will apologize on their behalf.
wv: ourip
Let 'er ourip, it's Farther's Day!
I guess Baby Doc decided to get the dictator daddy a Cake Wreck.
WV: Pifisel... Man these cake's be pifisel (pitiful).
I'm reading "Farzthers" as FARThers or maybe that's just my family...
#1: I thought that was a frost-breathing Hydra of some sort...
#2: Mmmmm, coconut. I think if you stare at that cake long enough, you will see one of those "#1 Dad" trophies.
#3: I wonder what it said *before* they "fixed" it!
#4: Nobody says "Father's *Day*" anymore. Get with it!
#5: "Schmoke and a pancake" was my brother's favorite line for quite some time.
#6: No, no, no! That's a cake for Doc's Papa. What you don't see, out of shot, is the six other cakes for "Papa Grumpy", "Papa Sleepy"....
Are you taking suggestions? How about Her Royal Snarkness? Number One could be the Snarkness in Waiting and John could be JTHOHRS - (John The Hubby of Her Royal Snarkness, of course!).
Andrea
I'd eat that second cake. It looks tasty.
That HAPPY FARTHERS DAY cake would probably make my Dad laugh so hard and loud that he might accidently just let one rip. And then he would laugh even harder.
I like seeing my Dad laugh. Where can I buy one of those cakes? (jk)
A bong and a blintz?
WV: milsabl - these wrecks are milsabl.
Papa Doc is a Voodoo Saint..and those who celebrate the saints of that religion would make a happy birthday papa doc cake...Read Mama Lola it's about Haitian Voodoo Priestesses and the Saints.
Jen, it indeed seems that EVERYTHING besides "Happy" is "too wordy."
MILLIONS of other stores/bakeries are at this very moment in a fury to commit similar cakes before Sunday.
I find the implications deeply disturbing--does anyone else??
There needs to be a grassroots movement to modify our educational system to mandate cake baking/decorating classes in all schools, starting from Kindergarten and continuing on up through college.
Talk to your legislators.
Our cakes' futures are at stake.
=^-.-^=
there is a show here in the uk called Jeremy Kyle, I think that the Farthers day cake may have been made for one of its guests http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zekd4iNru6M
Watch and enjoy!
Louise
My girls asked what we should get Jeff for fathers day. I said hot wings and beer. They said they don't know how to wrap that. Love them.
I'm just glad there were no "Herpy Feathers Day" cakes...
Aaaaaah! Papa doc???
Empress Jen, Grand Snarky Poobah?
Her Snarky Eminence, Jen of Yates?
Maybe "snarky" isn't the way to go. It sounds sort of plebeian. Snippety? Ironic? Flippant? No, no, "flippant" would bring on ocean mammal jokes with this crowd. (ponders) I'll work on it!
-Barbara Anne, the Blathering Princess Non-Bride
Might I just say that I love how many people thought of "Papa Doc" Duvalier. It warms my nerdy little heart.
I read cake number five as Fart hers day. I love this website!!
Of all possible subjects for an EPCOT... John (thoJ), were you trying to block it or were you seeking to plant the thought? (For the record, PDV was my first thought on seeing the 'Papa Doc' cake. Glad I read the footer -- and the comments -- before commenting.)
#1 I could almost make a case for 'Happy Fratter's Day', but since we're supposed to be careful with such references, I won't go there. Gray roses? Really? In floral language, isn't that being darned by faint praise?
#2 Maybe 'Fathday' is another stage in the evolution of Newspeak. Of course, we would also then have 'Mothday', which brings up a curious set of geeky associations.
#3 'Happy Fathers Dad' must be one of those might-be-intentional conflations like 'congradulations'. Of course, with out the apostrophe, 'fathers' is plural non-possessive, as in "Look, Dad -- happy fathers!"
#4 "Look -- we include 'day', you lose some sprinkles. Life's about choices. Take your time. Next!"
Points for including the apostrophe even if the placement is ambiguous. (Trailing is correct.)
#6 Setting aside the possible historical reference, what might 'ferther day' be?
Happy Fatters day indeed.. lol. Maybe just take dad out and skip the cakes since all of them seem to either misspell father or just add weirdness. Don't mind the weirdness but if my dad saw any of those my adult butt would probably be running for the hills lmao.
Oh your remarks to today's cake post are wonderful! I laughed through the whole page!
Heh heh Meet the Falkers. (satherhood)