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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May172011

Let's Wrap It Up

Friends, acquaintances, decorators.

There is a new bakery trend arising. One that's making me SICK. And also kind of excited. Mostly sick. But sort of excited.


The trend?

 

Sticking wrapped candy on finished cakes.

Now, the excitement comes into play because, hello! Candy is awesome. So putting candy on cake sounds like mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow.

The disgust, however, comes from the fact that the candy is wrapped. And on a cake. Or in some cases:

 

 

IN a cake.

And digging through icing with your fingers just to unwrap a piece of chocolate that is covered in chocolate and then smooshed into chocolate sounds about as appealing as... ooh, look!
Chocolate!

In a sweet, oozy green metallic coating!
Apparently, the more candy and flotsam you shove on top, the more "fancy" the "brownies" become.

Assuming there are actually brownies in there somewhere.

 

 

Or, if chocolate-covered chocolate in your chocolate is too much chocolate for you, there's always the paper-wrapped sugar sticks in your sprinkle-covered sugar cake approach:
Suckers.

 

 

So, when all else fails, and a regular ol' normal-people cake just won't cut it, go ahead and jam any and everything you can find into a plastic container:
Because America, that's why.

 

Thanks to today's Wreckporter wrappers Thomas P., Martha, Jo N., Sarah D., Kendra, and Matt P., who will now go forth and fetch me a Twix. No? Anyone?

 

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Reader Comments (110)

Well, that just about wraps it up.

Mmmmmmm . . . .paper.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Ewww.... germs.

Still, impressed by the wreckerators' ceaseless, yet ironic, toil to reach ever higher heights of laziness in "decorating."

--kate

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Besides the trouble of having to dig out the candy and unwrap it, it just seems so unsanitary. Why knows WHERE those candy wrappers have been? Dropped on the floor of the candy factory, brushed off, and then placed on your cake? No thanks!

wv: doccis Doccis disgusting!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

So, it's like mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow, is my new favorite descriptive term. It's an instant classic!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Eww, gross. Wonder how the candy is stored before it's final destination on top of your cake?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dum dums.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I suspect that the wrapped candy indicates the flavor of the cake itself. They left the wrapper on so the customer would recognize the candy. Not a design that I would go for though...

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCakeLadyRachel

I wonder if this got started when somebody dropped their snack in a cake and sold it anyway?

wv: cocabuse Cocabuse is the #1 cause of cake wrecking. Boozabuse is #2.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

My first thought was to wonder what germs & dirt are on the candy wrappers, and I'm not one to panic about the odd microbe (whatever does not kill me makes me stranger). Eeew, ick.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have an uncle who is of Japanese descent (he's actually Canadian, I think). When we'd visit their house when I was a kid, they'd give us these Japanese hard candies that were wrapped in some kind of rice paper. The candies were very sticky, but the paper was edible, so we'd just eat the wrapper and the candy together. Maybe something like that would be a better choice here...

I don't recall what the candy tasted like. I don't think it was particularly yummy. But the wrapper was a novelty, so we ate it.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Just eat the wrapper. Duh.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM

All that sugar, it'll rot your teeth!

(had to recharge my iMom for a couple days)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

wow! that is SO unsanitary!! i am suprised the health dept lets them do that....GROSS!!!!!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrebekah

umm that is so unsanitary! you would think bakeries would have some sort of knowledge of food safety! all the dirt and germs and who knows what else is now all over your "lovely" cake! GROSS!!
btw...that last one was hilarious! i love the idea of just stuffing cupcakes and candy in a plastic container and selling it! HA!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrebekah

Um, ew! And wtf is that last cake supposed to be anyways? Besides scary and unappetizing, I mean...

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

to be fair, the candy inside the wrapper (assuming it's not a few years old) is probably the most well made part of those cakes :P

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLozzz123

ok...for all those who are concerned about the sanitary aspect - do you really think the people who create all of these wrecks are wearing hair nets and gloves? If they can't figure out the correct spelling, etc. do you think they're thinking about sanitation?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

We are offended by this new trend. What is next? Baking articles of clothing into a cake for a surprise inside?

And do these people have any idea where that wrapped candy has been and who has fondled it?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAsk the Cool Cookie

the last ... thingy ... What?! I can't even- *headdesk*

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAna V.

If I wanted a candy bar I'd get one. Can't see the point of putting one on a cake.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudy C

What is that last one supposed to be?? It really is just a bunch of crap jammed into a plastic container.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I love that one of the candies on the fancy brownies is even placed upside down. The bakery couldn't take the time to make sure the writing was placed right side up.

@elisse - My grandmother is Japanese; there is one candy we grew up eating and love. Botan Rice Candy had an edible wrapper (inside an inedible wrapper - fun with younger cousins ensued). I still eat it because I still love it - tastes kinda citrus-ey, fruity. Plus it came with a sticker in the box; candy and a sticker?! Heck yes!! They do a temporary tattoo instead of the sticker now.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKSLSRocks

"Because America, that's why!" is gonna be my slogan from here to infinity.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Dash

"mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow." Aw. sounds like a dream!

hey, paper adds fiber. "that's nutrition! chocolate cake (with wrapped candy) coming up!" (Bill Cosby's cake-for-breakfast logic)

meanwhile, the peanut chews are placed UPSIDE DOWN. with clown flotsam. yikes. does that count for people allergic to nuts if the candy is wrapped and not actually touching the cake directly?

nice random lollipop placement.

that last one looks like party leftovers shoved in the only available box. there's cupcakes squashed in there! with neon yellow icing...YUCK

Nice Caesar reference!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I blame most of the cake typo nonsense on cake decorators who speak English as a second language. But I don't see how this fits my theory.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

This just tortures my inner germaphobe.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

O_o Who on earth thought this was a good thing??

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ask the Cool Cookie - you are so on to something. How about edible panties! Could be just the thing for those German cakes.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake looks like a giant germ culture went trick-or-treating. Even the "Laffy Taffy" seems depressed.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

How appropriate that the second cake says it's a "Candy Bar Cake."

Is that like a King Cake at Mardi Gras where the winner is the one who finds the "prize" in the cake???

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I see those at my local mart all the time - well, not that last one. Supposed to warn you about what flavor the cake is. Maybe it would be better if it specified what disease you're going to get from it.

wv:unoccl I hope I've been unoccl-ated against cake virus.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

KSLSRocks: It's probably the same stuff. These had inedible wrappers on the outside, too.

In other news: I find the idea of "angel giggles" weirdly unsettling. Like they're talking about me behind my back, or something.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Is it me or is that just totally unsanitary... I don't get it... *scratching my head* and that last cake, c'mon... they really think someone is gonna buy it. What the What?????

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo' You!!!

I can't even remember what I was going to write...I started gagging when I saw how gross the rack is that the last "cake" is on.

wv: imitati
Duplicati, never imitati

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterK8

I feel like it should say "Fancy" brownies.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShawn D

And...tomorrow...candy with little pieces of cake stuck to the top!

wv - explep: a former plep

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Mmmm... Twix. Yummy. (not being sarcastic)

To all the people who are freaking out about the germs on the wrappers: the candy is sealed in foil or paper and is obviously the cleanest part of the cake. So just eat the candy; to hell with the cake. (Am I allowed to say that on this site?)

Another one who remembers the edible rice paper. Led to some confusion with other candies but I learned quick.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTeabunny

oh my lands!
I mean, in a way these are sort of like movie theatre snack King Cakes - but instead of celebrating Mardi Gras and plastic babies I guess we are celebrating um...oh goodness. it's just wrong!!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCalliope

I looove the line "Because America, that's why!" I am sooo stealing that.

I was shaking my head as I scrolled down through the post. Then I got to that last one...."Dear God! What is that thing!?!"

It looks like it will leap out at you when you open it. Like those "snakes" in a can things....*shudder*

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oohhh yummy cake

This germaphob is not feeling so well right now. ~:o{

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngelina Krell

Gah. I shouldn't have read this before breakfast.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGayle Carline

Yeah...it is pretty gross because the candy wrapper is NOT sanitized and it was placed with greasy, icing caked hands.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Picture #4- You had me at candy bars and brownies.

You lost me at clowns !!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It can't be all *that* unsanitary. Unappetizing, sure. Unsanitary? Nah. How many of you open a candy bar, then wash your hands (since you just touched the wrapper), then eat the candy? None. You just unwrap and scarf!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ewwwww....You *know* they didn't wash those candy packages off before they stuck them on those cakes. How many times have they been handled, by whome, and do you really think they washed their hands?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCrafty Neighbor

Just when I thought it was safe to have a drink of water... I mean, I finished reading the post, I was just reading the comments, and then Elissa says that "angel giggles" makes her feel like they're talking about her behind her back, and I laugh-snort water out my nose.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

that last one is going to have me scratching my head all day... and maybe craving a little hodge podge of sugar and paper.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTisforTonya

I'm one of those people who eats the little dots that come on the paper, and still, I would not buy any of these cakes. Ew.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I can definitely understand the confusion/repulsion of having wrapped candy on a cake, but how many of you would want the wreckorator to unwrap it first??? that's even more ick...so let's just skip the candy. (unless it's baked into it, of course. then YUM!!)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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