Wednesday
Apr062011
The Incredible, Non-Edible, Plastic Clown Head
April 6, 2011 It's time to talk about the most versatile tool in a baker's cake-decorating arsenal:
The plastic clown head.
A history made even more colorful when the clown-headed pink dog is pooping a giant pink rose.
Devotees of the Wilton brand know this staple of cakey flotsam has a long and colorful history:
A history made even more colorful when the clown-headed pink dog is pooping a giant pink rose.(So, in his defense, this clown's poop really does smell like roses.)
Over the years, the plastic clown heads have really gotten around:
And around...
And...around:
After all, they were so darn versatile!
I mean, what better way to perk up your flowers?
Or add a lively accent to that jungle theme?
Think of it as Bozo's version of Easter Island.In fact, this time honored tradition continues today, only with slightly more modern sensibilities:
Death becomes him.And the sprinkles aren't bad, either.
Yep, you could say today's Wreckerator knows just how to take these classic tools of the trade and use them to their fullest and most meaningful...uh...
I'm sorry, but do these uteri look funny to you?
Hey! Guys! What are you doing here? Your post was last week!
Ovary funny: don't try cramping my style, funny guys. I know a fellow peon's pro creation when I see one, period.
Many thanks to wreckporters Katie C., C.B., Hannah C., Penny H., Roisin O., Erica H., Meaghan W., & Melissa M., who think you should really read that last line out loud. Just...'cuz.
Reader Comments (100)
We need to find a way to stop the production of plastic clown heads, these are horrifying.
Has there ever been a good way to use these clown heads? Maybe a Sunday Sweets of clowns is in order.
They've really been clowning around for so many years, haven't they? That clown pooping a pink rose is funny! At least, for a change, we learn of someone (or something) who 'made' a delicious, nice smelling, beautiful poop. :-)
We had a bunch of these in my mom's "cake decorating box" as a kid (full of all the flotsam that had come with our various kiddie birthday cakes over the years). I loved them!
I would bake a cake in a 8.5" x 11" pan (so I only had to ice the top, of course) and cover it in various clown and circus items (we even had a plastic merry-go-round that really moved!). Of course, I was probably 11 years old....and not a professional baker. So, yeah...
Ovary funny. HA.
Someone should tell those bakers to quit clowning around. (Also, clowns scare me.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I'm pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares from that last one. Those clown-headed, scorpion-esque, poop-colored, demon spawn.
Last one - is that uterus poop? Is there such a thing? Ew.
The green cookie cake really reminds me of Roger Hargreaves' Mr. Men books.
Why confine plastic clown heads to cake? I'm thinking they'd look great on meat loaf, chicken livers, salads, avocadoes, and borscht.
WV: squid. A squid with a clown head, for the win!
I'm still trying to figure out what Illinois has to do with clowns and uteri.
Thanks for the nightmares. Clowns are...uhhh...ummm...creepy.
Just sayin'...
;)
Anyone else have the Psycho theme running through their head while reading this?
I don't know if it's just wishful thinking on my part, but the writing on the first cake looks like it says "Sloppy Birthday" on it. Which would be awesome and true.
Okay, so I saw the first cake WAY different..... The rose was the "dog's", um, upper head. And the clown head his lower one. The balloons were the product of his excitement...
WV: chized - The clown dog got so excited he "chized" a bouquet of balloons!
Poo Scorpion Clowns
It's the next great band.
Trust me.
Is it just me or does the clown on cake 1 look like his head has blown off and landed on his 'nether regions'?
Going to have stop reading this in work. Too...much...laughing...
Why don't cannibals like clowns?
Because they taste funny.
my 3 year old told me that last one had clown octopuses on it. They may be short a few legs, but I can see where he got the idea.
I'm troubled. I thought that eyes with an 'X' in the center was kind of like the international symbol for "this is dead."
O_o is all I can say.
What the hail IS that last one supposed to be!?? :S
wv: "gessu" better come up with some kind of explanation when the manager comes in
I've always thought that Xs or Ts for eyes were the international symbol of DEAD...so are those dead clown heads decorating cakes? Festive!
What, no Stephen King "It" references? lol!
Love the last paragraph, btw.
You are a genius!!! Too funny!
fellow peon. ha. nice.
I recently saw a picture of myself with my first birthday cake and was finally able to trace my lifelong fear of clowns to these plastic clown heads.
My grandparents owned a bakery for most of my childhood. They had TONS of these, but never used them, so when they closed up, I got them.
Since I'm a little mean, or was when I was a youngster, I put them all over the cake of a friend who's scared of clowns for her birthday. She was laughing and crying. It was pretty funny, but man, those heads are creepy!
I took a Wilton decorating class where we were REQUIRED to purchase the clown heads. I refused to buy them so I ended up with headless clowns on my cake. I think that made the clowns look better. They were definitely better than the ones on those "professional" cakes.
Plastic "King Cake" babies grow up to be clowns. At the right age, they, uh, "harvest" the heads. Hence the X'd-out eyes. In the interest of delicacy, I won't tell you the origin of plastic "King Cake" babies, but if you look at the last cake you can probably figure it out.
you have the most extensive vocabulary of ovarian puns I've ever seen! all women and menstrualy bow before your greatness.
Thanks for the tribute to the greatest of the plastic flotsam. My fourth birthday cake had four clown heads that held candles. It was the most awesome birthday cake ever. Of course this was in 1978 when clown heads were still cool (and before we all started saying awesome so I guess it was actually a "hip" birthday cake.)
I think I'm gonna get a bag of clown heads and decorate the little doggy gifts that are now appearing in the neighborhood.
And, wow! I think I exceeded my daily recommended allowance of puns with that last cake -- brilliant!
wv - spher: As in, What's all over a dog?
The only good kind of clown is the dead kind of clown.
the clown poo was great...just yesterday I threw out almost 40 of the little buggers (they were in my junk drawer)..yeah my moms (I have two mommies :) :)!) decided to surprise me for my 40th with 40 of them all over my freaking lawn at 6 am in the morning...along with a few *shudder* clown statues...fond memories the clown heads oh no the freaking clown heads...love this site...note to self when to talking to client on phone do not read this post!
Ok, on the pink cake, I honestly thought, upon seeing it, "what on earth is that clown head doing on the headless pink thing's crotch?"
I'm not normally afraid of clowns...but this has me scared!
wv: represse - I'm hoping to represse this post...
I am certain that my fear of clowns stems from those evil, plastic clown decorations!! :(
"Fellow peon" -- genius!
Thanks for sending in those clowns.
Poopy uteri? Ewww....No, thanks.
LOL!
I'm never quite sure if those clowns are drunk or dead. I suppose they're dead since they're "severed" and put on a pike, and then served on cake. Yummy.
wv: scrade: afraid & scared in one word. Be very scrade of those clowns...be very scrade....
o.O
I always thought that clowns poop would smell funny.
I'm personally kind of curious about "Happy Birthday Monkeys"
That third image is terrifying. Like, horde of Daleks backed up by an army of rampaging zombies and an orchard of Triffids terrifying.
The fourth image, featuring an altar festooned with the heads of dead clowns, is somehow soothing.
The last one is a never before seen image of the rare Clown-Headed Poo Devil. They are native to Tasmania, but, until now, were thought to be extinct.
Andrea
Scary. These cakes look like John Wayne Gacy...frightening!
mocking
I think #6 there is just in mid-transform... he changes into a clown car with sprinkle cannon. You want sprinkles? Oh you'll get sprinkles.
I have somehow avoided getting coulrophobia to this point (using 'getting' in both senses), but *someone* seems determined to add me to the rolls.
#1 I can't get the perspective on this, much less understand why Katie is being wished a slappy birthday. As for the pink dog holding the bunch of brightly-colored raisins on strings...?
#2 Some seriously demented company makes these heads by the metric ton, that much is obvious. Where is the 'Reduced Bake Shop'? For that matter, what is it -- a bakery that was miniaturized?
#3-5 What is the deal on these heads, anyway? The pig-nose profile, the x-eyes... Why x-eyes? Does that somehow cause them to make sense to whomever created these things?
#6 I don't know what to do with this one. Those aren't 'tropical' trees, so the flora and fauna don't go together. My 1960's-sitcom-shaped subconscious keeps insisting it should read, 'Happy Birthday Monkees', which isn't helping at all.
#7 Ok, add the blue inflatable suit, and the whole thing suddenly snaps into...complete insanity. Bozo the deep-sea diver? Love the algae-green background. Well, maybe 'love' isn't the word.
#8 This takes the concept of 'poo' to a whole new, disgusting level of realism. What else could possibly have been intended? What does the wreckerator have against Illinois? And again with the heads...
Ovary funny = awesome.
Does poop + uteri = pooteri?
Those triple pooping heads are too much! But, that high desert easter island cake, really like it!