Move Over, Hallmark

Tired of the same ol' "Happy Birthday"s, "Congraderaultions", and "I Want Sprinkles?" Then consider these inspiring sentiments the next time you order a cake.

Assuming you're moving soon, of course.
Here's a solid, any-occasion choice:
Although it's especially effective when dropped off anonymously in the office break room.
For when the get-well and sympathy cards just seem too namby-pamby.
I'd tell you what Hipster Cake does, but it's a really obscure activity. You've probably never heard of it.
Thanks to Anony M., Kris K., Lauren M., Dawn M., Gal N., Amy D., & Melissa K., who might go back to cards after this.
Reader Comments (81)
Holy crap I wish I had the congratulations on your teen pregnancy cake. My cousin is 17, pregnant with her second and neither children have an identified father out of the pool of contendors.
wv:enbrays
when you enbrays a man, be ready for the consequences
Are they serious? Do they just do those cakes to be on Cake Wrecks?
Like Jerry, I want to recast a cake so it makes sense. I think the "teen pregnancy one" is for a young lady who met a suitable life partner, got married, or at least settled in a stable domestic arrangement right out of highschool and is now expecting the planned birth of her first child.
Or maybe it's congratualting http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/19_Kids_and_Counting" rel="nofollow">the Duggars on the conception of one of their last seven children.
Haha oh that's awesome. I love the WMO cake and the almost legal one, nice touch!!
Kc
http://a-sparkley-silver-lining.blogspot.com/
These are so inappropriate and yet so funny. The "Emo" cake is by far my favorite, but the Herpes cake comes in a close second. After all, how would you feel if you got a cake like that?
Wait a minute...did a decorator actually spell "congratulations" correctly? Do my eyes deceive me? It *can* be done!
emo cake gave me a big guffaw and then I scared my cats. hilarious! I'd buy that cake.
I think the sun on the teen pregnancy cake is really kind of cute!
Believe it or not, I delivered a break up on a cookie cake once. It said "We are breaking up." The lady laughed at me when I ordered it. The boy, well he just said "I don't like cookie cake." ugh.. he had it coming.
Hahaha cracked me up! especially the PMS cake...
btw to people whining about it:
I used to be Emo
I DO cut myself (kid's don't do it at home)
I DO have problems with people who has problems with it.
...but I found the Emo cake H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
come on ppl! there's something called HUMOR, you should try it some time, or go read another blog.
With Luv,
Anniie
P.S. Jen, you are my hero xD
Now I'm thinking of getting a "Put on your big girl pants" for my recently potty trained daughter and niece! These were awesome!
Lol I thought that flowery cake said congrats on your jean pregnancy. I love how a cake can express fake flowery happiness over it while trying to make it seem like they are happy for them.. way to go wreckerators. I would so be all over that PMS cake seeing as mine wont go away.. eternal pms.. needs cake lol.
Not that I've actually done this but you should be aware that it IS possible to make icing out of ExLax so always avoid chocolate frosted break-up cakes!
-Barbara Anne
I wonder if the 'Almost Legal' cake is in reference to gay marriage? That would make sense, with the rainbow and all.
Oh wow these were hilarious! I think I like the emo cake the best, I was laughing so hard at that one. My jaw also dropped at the teen pregnancy one...I can't believe these were actually ordered.
To the ex-emo who found the cutting cake funny: there are those of us who don't find mocking of our illness funny. I'm 35, I've never been emo, but I have schotzoaffective disorder. It's a very serious problem where I hear voices that tell me to cut and break the bones in my hands and arms. Being associated with emos and people that do it to be part of a counter culture makes me want to throw up.
Good thing most people can laugh at life and it's hardships and quirks rather than moan and complain!
Love them!
Wow! I'm shocked at the EMO cake. Self-injury is a serious mental disorder. If someone you loved was a cutter (and not EMO) it would break your heart to see something so serious and troubling made light of.
OMG the emo cake is awesome. So is the hipster comment. And the PMS cake. Okay, it's all awesome. Always.
I felt it coming..."EMCOT"
Is it me or is that last cake robbed of frosting?!
When she was a child, a friend once went to a birthday party where the birthday cake had a doll head, far larger than any of these clown heads, just sticking up out of the top of it.
It was no professional cake, but suddenly finding that photo in an old album had us wiping our eyes with laughter.
The emo cake is not even funny. My best friend is a cutter, and is a very sad situation. I'm am just appalled. Not okay at all.
I think the "Almost legal" cake refers to same-sex marriage. Any other interpretation would be just creepy.
wv: plingshi: the sound made by a plastic flotsam piece being flicked off the top of your cake slice and richocheting off the wall
I wonder if the PMS cake is from Schuberts Bakery in San Francisco. It looks like a Schuberts cake.
If it was, it must have been delicious. At my old job we bought our staff birthday cakes from there all the time.
www.schuberts-bakery.com
After that last one, I wept for the future of a world with such morons in it (either the idiots who can't read a cake form, or the idiots who can't fill one out right, which ever it is..... I pray for the latter) After this one, the tears are of laughter.
The emo cake makes me sad. Get it?!? Sad!! Hahaha. I slay myself.
LOL! That PMS cake gave me a great idea: I think I will call my local bakery and create a standing order for a small chocolate cake to be delivered to my house on a monthly basis!! Haha!
Love the Emo cake. I want one.
It'll be my birthday cake this year.
Just as an FYI type thing, I took the first one to mean Gay Marriage, but if it was actually ordered by someone and not just picture-taken then I guess I could be totally wrong.
I have to agree with some of the other posters. The cake about cutting isn't funny when there are people with serious issues.