Wreck Reaction
February 23, 2011 Guys, I think the Wreckerators are on to us.
Yep, while we've been focusing on all the actual *cake* wrecks, bakers have been industriously wrecking just about every other item in the bakery, and then some.
How else can you explain "The Brownie Ball?"
It's a giant ball of icing with brownies stuck in it.I kid thee not.
Now, do I want to eat this?
Of course I do.
Does that make it excusable?
No, it does not.
Hey, just because *I* don't have any self-respect doesn't mean bakers shouldn't.
Or, if you prefer your giant ball of icing rolled in sprinkles and served on a cookie platter:
Perfect for the children of someone you hate.It's not all sugar and sprinkles, though. Hoooo no. See, unfortunately, the deli guys decided to get in on the "decorating" action, too.
Billy Bear Bologna:
And you thought nothing could make chicken mcnuggets look healthy.The world's cheesiest gingerbread man:
"Oh noooo!"Yes, that's really a cheese "ball." Decorated with icing.
Because cheddar & buttercream = Gouda upchuckin' fun!
Pineapple upside down shrimp "cake:"
SWEET MERCY I THINK ONE JUST MOVED.
[Update: the final "cake" has sparked a lively debate in the comments, so perhaps this video instructional on making a "Smörgåscake" (submitted by Marcus B.) will help.
Just kidding; it won't. But if you want to see a guy yelling instructions in "Swenglish" and violently throwing ingredients around, then it's pretty funny.]
Reader Comments (192)
Oh my gosh. That shrimp cake just triggered my first-ever Cake Wrecks gag.
That shrimp cake just made my stomach do somersaults. But I have to admit that the brownie frosting ball would be a great "my partner just broke up with me, let me drown my sorrows in cake and wine" food.
You should really warn people before posting crap creations like pineapple upside down shrimp cake. I'm eating breakfast now and almost lost a mouthful >:P
*shudder*
That shrimp cake is the stuff of nightmares!
too early in the morning for these. gag reflex engaged
Wow. Those are just... disturbing. Personally I don't want to eat the brownie ball. However, if it were brownies stuck to ice cream, THEN we'd be talking. Hmmm.. Maybe I should go and... NO! STOP! PUT THAT DOWN! I was KIDDING! NOOOOO.......
Hey! Billy Bear sausage has been around about 20 years now! And whilst it may be weird, he's not an abomination.
Awesome post! Loved the Beetlejuice reference :)
See, I don't like icing, so seeing those brownies and especially the cookies made me want to gag. And then I saw the shrimp cake...
Probably not eating lunch now. My diet thanks you!
I am so confused.
But.... I... It... Just... You see... {shudder} headdesk.... thump.
OMG some of those made me do a double take-shrimp pineapple, mutated bologna, D: but to be honest I WOULD eat the cookie with icing-I have a major sweet tooth.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth... That shrimp "cake"!!!
I think I'm going to go stare at that brownie ball until the gaggies go away.
-another poster with no self-respect
This post needs a warning sign! Making a newly pregnant woman look at pineapple upside down shrimp "cake" is cruel! Even the cheese ball made me want to hurl!
SMORGASTARTA?!?!?!?!
WV: rilkey - No rilkey - what the heck is a SMORGASTARTA?!?!?!?!
Thank you for helping me stick to my diet today....I don't think I'll be able to choke down the vurp let alone lunch.
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth!!
I can't hear a word against Billy Bear ham- that stuff is my childhood! I loved that damn stuff, would happily eat it today! That last prawn cake was vom-tastic though *shudder*
Makes me think of the Stinky Cheese Man! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stinky_Cheese_Man_and_Other_Fairly_Stupid_Tales
@Malsain 9:43
You should work in the factory before you say stuff like that. As someone who has worked in meat processing before, i'm quite sure the process of getting the face onto the meat (and the chemicals involved) would revolt you if you knew.
I don't think they listed that in Forrest Gump.
WITH GOOD REASON! AAHHHHH!!! It's the cake of Cthulu!!!
This is the first time Cake Wrecks has made me feel sick! I thought the cheese thing with icing was bad, but the shrimp concoction just blew it away!
What is going on under the shrimp? I see shrimp, pineapple, and a cherry. But what's happening under the shrimp?!
OMG it's a real FOOD ! From the great and powerful Wiki "SmörgåstårtaFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaJump to: navigation, search
Smörgåstårta garnished with prawns, egg, caviar and cucumberSmörgåstårta ("sandwich cake") is a Swedish dish that is also popular in Finland and Estonia. Similar to a sandwich, it has such a large amount of filling that it more resembles a cake.
The smörgåstårta is normally made up of several layers of white bread with creamy fillings in between. The fillings and toppings vary, but egg and mayonnaise are often the base, additional filling may vary greatly but often includes one or more of the following: liver paté, olives, shrimp, ham, various cold cuts, caviar, cheese and smoked salmon.
Smörgåstårta is served cold and sliced like a dessert cake.
"
Hate to ruin the fun, but when I saw the Swedish, I just had to find out what Smorgastarta is (thanks, Wikipedia!):
Smörgåstårta ("sandwich cake") is a Swedish dish that is also popular in Finland and Estonia. Similar to a sandwich, it has such a large amount of filling that it more resembles a cake.
The smörgåstårta is normally made up of several layers of white bread with creamy fillings in between. The fillings and toppings vary, but egg and mayonnaise are often the base, additional filling may vary greatly but often includes one or more of the following: liver paté, olives, shrimp, ham, various cold cuts, caviar, cheese and smoked salmon.
Smörgåstårta is served cold and sliced like a dessert cake.
So, not so gag-worthy in my book. But those brownie blobs? I'm a fan of frosting, but that makes me want to find something to scrape out my mouth.
I had to look up the last one to make sure that it wasn't what it looked like...
Smörgåstårta ("sandwich cake") is a Swedish dish that is also popular in Finland and Estonia. Similar to a sandwich, it has such a large amount of filling that it more resembles a cake.
The smörgåstårta is normally made up of several layers of white bread with creamy fillings in between. The fillings and toppings vary, but egg and mayonnaise are often the base, additional filling may vary greatly but often includes one or more of the following: liver paté, olives, shrimp, ham, various cold cuts, caviar, cheese and smoked salmon.
Thanks wikipedia!
OMG! Did they really put shrimp on an actual CAKE?? Is it possible the base is something else? I tried blowing up the pic to read the lable but I could not figure it out.
IF so, that has GOT to be the grossest concoction I have ever witnessed.
Thank you, CW!
Ewwwww. Shrimp cake?!? Really? Would somebody actually EAT that? I'll be gagging for the rest of the day.
I want that bear baloney right now!! Seriously... I have kids and they'd LOSE it! ;) But I'm agreeing about the vomit inducing shrimp catastrophe. Just ew.
The shrimp cakes are LOOKING at me!! Nasty, nasty, nasty...
That shrimp "cake" made me do a drool-take with my coffee. It's like a spit-take only I was too paralyzed with shock to even spit, so the coffee just kinda trickled out of the corner of my mouth.
Thanks, Wreckorator. Thanks for that.
Must they mix up different types of FOODS with icing sugar? The bear bologna bites. This really frosts my cookies.
*looking away*
really? shrimp?
Billy Bear ham! My brother and I used to have that when we were kids. I'd always take the eyes out because I was an evil child who enjoyed blinding innocent lunch meat.
That cookie icing ball makes my teeth hurt just looking at it.
Noooooo!
I really ought not've looked through these pictures with an already-upset tummy...
Please, please, please let there be something underneath the brownies besides a ginormous lump of frosting. I can imagine a cake under the frosting with the brownies as "sprinkles". That'd be good. The cookies are inexcusable, though. And I *like* frosting...
Regarding the world’s cheesiest gingerbread man, the color of that “icing” is exactly the color you get by mixing braunschweiger and cream cheese, which I have done, and it’s delicious! So maybe that’s what it is. HOWEVER, that would only *slightly* improve this horror!
LOL Looks like we might have an EPCOT on the shrimp cake!
Thanks for the Beetle Juice reference LOL, but my first reaction was from Ghostbusters..."Mother pus bucket!"
wv: benize: Betelgeuse better benize or the sandworm will get him!
Those shrimp "cakes" look like boobs. Just sayin.
Now I've totally got Day-O stuck in my head. The Stan Freburg version. Too piercin', too piercin'. Would you mind leaving the room? And take that shrimp monstrosity with you.
I think I love all of these. Even the bologna is imaginative, if still an atrocity. And the shrimp cake...I love shrimp, shrimp with pineapple sounds wonderful, and if it grosses everyone else out, MORE FOR ME!
But the Brownie Ball Cake is sheer brilliance. It's like a four-dimensional hypercake - a tesseract composed of brownies and icing and love!
My Word Verification Word is "hypersa," which is the title of the eighteenth movie in the "Saw" series, where they no longer bother to spell things out completely.
Ok, the Sausage Bears (sounds vaguely perverted...) made me look like the RCA dog. But the shrimp cake...thing? Literally jaw-dropping. Ho-lyyy gag reflex, Batman! I don't care WHAT wikipedia says about it. It was scary enough to make me de-lurk for the first time in 10 months of reading the blog!!
I was doing OK until I got to the pineapple upside-down shrimp cake.
ZAP! All my synapses fused.
Now I know what the Klingon Mind Sifter feels like.
Wow, just wow. I've never seen half of these things in my bakery that I go to or in the grocery store bakeries. I'm so glad for that now. lol
I don't see the yuckiness in the shrimp cake! Well okay, I dislike shrimp, but the cake is just as disgusting as any dish with shrimp in it.
The shrimp cake isn't a sweet one, it's a sandwich cake, as Usagi said. They are common in Sweden and Finland, especially in graduation partys and such. If you search google for smörgåstårta, you'll find more shrimp cakes. The finnish versions don't usually have shrimp in them, you'll find finnish sandwich cakes with the word 'voileipäkakku'. That's only if you want to see more sandwich cakes, of course! I know you do.
Please, please, please can tomorrow's blog be one where you admit you made this all up.
Even if it's not true, I need you to do that for me.
Ok, as a Swede who loves smörgåstårta, I have to defend that last "wreck". It's NOT a cake despite the name an certainly not an upsidedown cake -- we don't really have those in Sweden. Literally the name means sandwich cake and that's exacatly what it is. Festive food made from bread and with different savory fillings, served usually at parties. Kind of like an alternative to a cold buffet (aka smörgåsbord). And it's delicious! You really should try it.
Now, the other wrecks... Those deserve the label.
BTW, I'm not very fond of shrimps so that's probably the part of the smörgåstårta that'd make me go 'yuck'. Otherwise I love 'em. And as a kid I loved to decorate them when we made them for birthday or graduation parties.
...*jaw drops* Speechless.
I cant believe anyone thought the last was was really a "cake" with shrimp on it. It only looks like a cake so she included it as a joke.