Bake a Cake, Diss A Vow
February 22, 2011 Words are a vital part of the wedding ceremony. With them you promise to love and cherish one another, declare your commitment publicly, and tell Uncle Randall to ease up on the Jägerbombs. Or at least stop dancing.
So, it's no wonder that some couples want to incorporate words on their wedding cake. And it's also no wonder - at least to me, heh - when those words spell disaster.
Or misspell it, as the case may be.
Note that the baker used the classic Wilton letter press
I'm told one or two of those words are misspelled, but frankly I was too distracted by the heaps of soggy seaweed to notice. Maybe that's the point?
No. Just...no.Jessica wanted the writing on her cake to match the font of their invitations, so she brought in this handy reference picture:
She also asked that the roses be made of icing.Drum roll, please!
I especially like the roses. Classy.
Give it a minute.Let it all sink in. Or line up. Or whatever.
Now, at first I thought the baker had stacked these in the wrong order, since it kind of looks like the top tier connects with the bottom one. When I saw the back, though, I realized:
I actually have no idea what is going on with this cake.And finally, a tip for all your wedding wreckage:
The uglier it is, the more you should emphasize the word "beautiful."
Perfect.
Reader Comments (106)
I don't know how you can comment on any of these because I just wouldn't know what to say... where to start... where to end... to stop dry heaving...
After seeing the 2nd cake, I would like to change my initials!
The last cake is my favourite, I love the fact that they have paper plates stacked behind, yeah, why even bother to classy up that cake with REAL dishes
My 3 1/2 year old son looked at the last cake and said, "Is that a Harry Potter cake?".........guess to a child a wreck such as that is magical
Too much writing on the cakes,,, keep it simple...
"two heads become one"?????
My head hurts now just thinking about that one...
On a totally different subject (but still relating to the first Wreck), my husband wanted our wedding vows changed to "for poorer and for poorer yet."
Those were all just... painful. Truly, truly painful.
Fonts on cakes? I'm amazed she was surprised. Looking at these cakes, I wonder if people chose chain supermarket bakeries in hopes of getting a wrecked wedding cake worthy enough.
The final one looks like it must have been made by a well-meaning (but poorly skilled) relative or family friend.
#1 "BETTERFORRiCHER OR POO RER". Subliminal message received. And the 'or worse (OR WoRSE)' is there; it's the cake itself.
#2 Beach wedding; great. Beach reception; not so great, especially when you didn't check the tide table beforehand. Thank goodness for that waterproof fondant, eh?
#3 "Two Heats Become One." No... just use your own joke here.
#4b At 'Speed-e Bakery,' you can have 'good' or 'fast'. The compromise, of course, is half good and half fast.
#5a/b Wreckerator: "This is going to look kewl! I just have to stack these pre-written layers, and... what? Why are you laughing? What-ever!"
#6 "I thought the topper kind of negated the message, but she insisted."
Oh, yeah -- the future is going to come true, dude. You were handed a lot of business cards with 'Esq.' on them at the reception? Hang onto those. Just sayin'.
Wow. Did they have to pay for those cakes? Hope not!
I think the groom in the last cake is wearing Epcot pants.
WV: micest - These are not the micest wedding cakes I have ever seen. Mine was better, and I made it myself!
#6 That does look like oatmeal.
Notice that the promise starts with 'I', not 'We' -- why do I think the groom wrote that at the bride's direction.
egads. it is my nightmare to create a cake like these !!!
it seems crazy that they could present these cakes and be like "oh yes, here it is! isn't it beautiful?" i would run away in shame.
And this is why I am going to have a VERY simple wedding cake...
I get it. I get it. She wears the pants. Right? Please don't make me have to look at it anymore. (the last cake, that is...)
Let's not be so critical of the bride wearing the pants. Maybe the groom likes it that way! A bad cake hopefully will not ruin a stable, mutually respectful mistress/slave relationship that works for both of them.
ration: Better ration that wedding cake. There will never be another one like it - if you're lucky.
Is it just me or does the last cake look like a mad-lib with all the underlining?
Great reception ice-breaker game! Winner gets to pipe their answers in!
I just can't believe that #3 ("two hearts become one" (giving the benefit of the doubt for "hearts") and #6 (pantless beauty) were made by professionals. Really? Professional whats?
After the stunning and jaw dropping wedding cakes that were featured on Sunday these make me feel like I'm being slapped in the face by the nasty oatmeal frosting of the last cake.
What is the groom on the last cake wearing?....or not wearing? Is he pantless? Really?
That's Klassy with a "K".
True love is indeed inspiring…sigh...
One of the wedding cakes I decorated the bride requested the entire cake be covered with writing, she supplied me with the various phrases and words she wanted incorporated in the design. This was a 3 tier cake and the writing was small and neat and in a slightly deeper ivory color than the background. It looked great when finished, I often wondered if they discovered a couple of my hidden phrases I inserted in the design such as "pick up your socks" , "do the dishes" and "empty the trash"
Tricia, You need to patent that idea. NOW. There is a bakery not far from me that will "rent" you a cake: one that is fake but made to look real. For couples that want a huge wedding cake to show off but don't actually want 700 servings of cake. They're gonna stumble on your idea sooner or later, so get to the patent office now!
That last cake is so wrecky, I didn't even notice the topper!!!
WV: Nonis. Nonis better than too much, unless you want your cake to appear in Cake Wrecks.
First, Ellen wins at life for her reference to that 1972 classic, The Thing with Two Heads.
B, Why would anyone WANT their font on their wedding invitations to appear again on the cake? Just... why???
I think if I ever do get married again, I want a wedding cake with the chorus from Minnie Riperton's classic Loving You written around the sides of the cakes.
la la la la, la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la.....
i just love how on the last cake the grooms missing his pants because the brides wearing them LOL
Eden #1 cake wrecks fan
i love cake wrecks when we were looking at these and the last we were all looking for the grooms pants and we all laughed really hard when we saw the bride was wearing them! LOL
I think I know what happened with the "Larene/Ashley" cake (maybe).
When I first looked at it, it seemed as if they brought in a reference photo with a watermark on it that, the wrecker decided, OBVIOUSLY belonged on the actual cake... right?
That's all I've got. If this is what's going on, I'll make my own wedding cake!
Did anyone else notice that the "i" on the I will love you isn't upper case either? My wedding cake was made by a friend who was a cook in the Navy and it was beautiful! I agree with SuBee, Little Debbie snackers would have been better!
Do these people ever actually go to the bakery and see examples of the bakers work or do they just think Aunt Martha makes such good cookies that she can bake a wedding cake too? I feel bad for the brides but really, when I got married I demanded a book of past work and took careful inventory of the quality of work on display and in the to go out and deliver rack....
Does the "wrong font cake" have the word three instead of these? Must be for one of Charlie Sheen's weddings.
Love #5. And the comment. No idea what is going with it! I thought maybe it was Ashley and Clarence?? And is that really asparagus fern in front of the cake? Ellen
*answers phone*
Why yes! Here at Speed-E-Cake we have quality products and low prices! Which would you prefer?
I still can't believe that people got paid real money to make those cakes. *shudder*
Elizabeth
Sydney, Australia
i can see some well intentioned friend or family member offering to do the cake.....
also writing on a cake or sode of a cake is hard
Please say this means you'll counter these atrocities with a Sunday Sweets where the wedding cakes actually use wording correctly and beautifully?
Moxie said...
>> First, Ellen wins at life for her reference to that 1972 classic, The Thing with Two Heads. <<
:::bushing:::
Thanks!
Do I get cake? :)
wv - aulia.
Aulia people, listen up! I win! Moxie said so!
*sigh*
Wedding Wrecks make me so sad. I know, I know: "demand to see their work! Ask questions! The bride shouldn't have been so effing cheap! Blame the bride, not the baker!"
But, seriously, no one deserves to get this tripe on their wedding day.
VW: Blymies, people are quick to blame to poor bride.
The thing I noticed in the last one (because I can only focus on so much) is the "unselfish" line and the bride wearing the grooms pants. Really? Nothing says "unselfish" like demaening the other half from the get go.
Good one, @Shalen! LOL
Lol I can't stop laughing at that topper on the last cake. A groom in his boxers?? Could have been worse I suppose but don't need to give wreckerators any encouragement. I suppose for richer or for poorer just didn't make it into their vows? Or that the cake wreckerator just hated that part lol.
I would have raised a hell unheard of on this earth if any of these had been the cake at my wedding!!!! Those poor poor brides!!!
why is the last groom missing pants?
If that last cake was my wedding cake, I would cry forever.
On the second-to last cake: I like the CONCEPT. It's very eye-catching, modern and unique as opposed to having a lot of stuff like flowers and piping on it. It's a very clean look. IF it's done right.
In the case, the EXECUTION was... well, it was FAIL.
First proper laugh today, thanks for sharing.
That is so ridiculously sad. :( If I had wanted something fancy done for my wedding cake (we had a delicious chocolate covered cake with just our names [which is bad enough when we both have unusual names/spellings]), I would have demanded to see photos proving that the bakery/decorator had enough skill to do it. Surely you would peruse their portfolio, when it's for your wedding cake?
I see people start making their chosen bakery/decorator sign a contract guaranteeing they won't CakeWreck the wedding day!
~Ashlee
http://theDragonsHoard.bigcartel.com | Handmade gemstone jewellery
Wait now, I'm confused. You said "forword" was misspelled. But obviously it's not - look, right there, it says "forword," clear as day. ;)
Yes, the last cake is real! I was at the wedding and the bride was devastated by it. (And she TOTALLY wears the pants, so the topper suits them lol.)
Am I the only one that thinks the last cake mentions the Future can "came" true?
KuKu