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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb182011

Animaniacal

For many wreckerators, no cake is more of a tongue-out, slightly-hunched-and-grunting impossibility than an animal cake. It's not for lack of trying, mind you. ("Squished Shih Tzu" is actually a bakery standard these days.) For all their trying and failing, though, there are times when the results are actually kind of cute. Kind of. In a mutant sort of way.

For example:

Now, the poodle is a ridiculous looking dog. You can tell by how ridiculous it looks. You would almost think it would be impossible to make it look any more ridiculous, but if so, the yolk's on you! Haha!

Or maybe on this guy.

Now this little fella...



...is a chinchilla. I would very much like to snuggle him.

I don't really know what this is:

But I would also like to snuggle it. And maybe nom an ear.

This is a blow fish:

He obviously disapproves.

And this is a blow fish on antidepressants:

Any questions?

And if you think that bakers only try to make cutesy animals...

"What? I'm cutesy!"

...think again:

From the genus Crocodillius Seinfeldus.

Sometimes wreckorators double their efforts:


And, in some cases, they double their wreckage:

But at least this case also has some nice roses.

And finally, when an animal is really complicated:

"I'm complicated."

Wreckorators tend to just wing it:


"Meh. Hedgehog, hedge pig... same difference."

Thanks to Tim A., Stephanie D., Shirley L., Nathan M., JoeyJoJo and Monique R., who are all toy-gers. Toit toy-gers. Rawr.

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Reader Comments (104)

Absolutely bestial wrecks today -- thanks for making me laugh!

Anonymous said...

>>Seriously, what is the purpose of of this cut? <<

That cut? Nothing. :-) Well, maybe winning in the show ring.

But the original version of that haircut, shorter and allowed to curl, but still with the shaved areas had a purpose in hunting.

Poodles are retrievers bred to go into the water. The haircut made them hydrodynamic, but with some fur to protect head, chest, joints, and sometimes kidneys from the cold.

I like an even-all-over "puppy" cut on poodles, myself. And the ones I have known have been great, friendly, smart, fun dogs.

And I hope this doesn't turn into poodlecutcot!

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wreckerator, I have a poodle, I know poodles, poodles are friends of mine. Wreckerator, that's no poodle.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG Hahahaha! LOVE LOVE LOVE the Hedgehog. To be a true wreckie, I would have put a green blob ("hedge") with the piggy face (ala Wilson from Home Improvement)..But that's how I roll...

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Actually I like the hedgehog on antidepressants....he's kind of cute.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercharity-crafter

The blowfish is now my profile picture. I think it's adorable. Also, the hedgehog totally looks like a spiny pig-in-a-blanket.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

What did the wreckorators LOOK at before making the cakes???

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

One of these blowfish is poison.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

What is funny about the pufferfish one is that it says it is a porqupine on the sign in front of it :)

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

I would have been very confused without the comments on this one.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda V @ Bubble and Sweet

Awesome as usual, and today's bonus is that I almost laughed my lunch right onto my computer screen. And by "almost" I mean "definitely."

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershannon

The overpriced pufferfish was kinda tasty looking... or maybe it was that cake next to it moving in on its territory...

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkelleyinco

The cute blowfish looks like a blowfish and B.O.B. from monsters v aliens had a baby. A toit baby! (Goldmember reference FTW)

wv: dingersw. Dingersw the cute blowfish/B.O.B. cake, or was it just me?

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

But at least the purported blowfish cake appears to be chocolate. So there's that. Almost any difficulty of appearance can be overcome with chocolate (except brown piles of poo icing).

wv = piedeco. I'm not sure but might be some variation of cajun music.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

sitronella said...

Not a hedgehog cake.
A PORKupine one :)

So funny! Do you think the decorator had a pun in mind? If so, we'd almost have to take it off the wreck list (hey, I said ALMOST).

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I never did like the mutated Q-tips people call poodles. Maybe if people didn't 'style' their hair that way?

The blowfish is cute, and I love almonds.

I was thinking a Snork, but Q'Bert definitely puts in an appearance!

Nice Powers reference mixed with animals...

~~Di

wv - ackedup... seriously??

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

The Blowfish on Antidepressants is too cute. I wonder though, who wants deviled eggs with their poodle-cake. Is that really egg yolk for decoration? I love the chinchilla cake, so adorable.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I first thought that the Happy Puffer was skewered with french fries till I read the comments that suggested they were almonds - that made better sense. At least until I went back and looked at the scale; either those strawberries next to it are minuscule or those mutant almonds. I think french fries, myself!
wv: waysorta - Those cakes are waysorta outa sight, man!

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKay T

Am I the only one who thinks the first cake looks like it has cut up bath sponges stuck to it?

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I LOVE the blow fish on antidepressants! It's super cute and if I needed to buy a silly cake or just wanted cake.

WV; Unpar - most of these cakes were unpar.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

That first wreck is not a poodle. A lamb wearing gold earrings? Maybe. If you squint. But a poodle? No way.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually like the blowfish on anti-depressants. I'm thinking he's gonna be real tasty too.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

I don't think it's a pig next to the dog, I think it's meant to be an echidna. Or a very spiky pig.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You need to start selling t-shirts with the "complicated" hedgehog on them. The "awwwwwwCUTE" factor of that picture, with that caption, will put any diabetic in a coma for a week.

The "hedgehog" cake? Not so much, really. The cake should be poking about an abstract animation sequence, randomly shouting, "DIMSDALE!".

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

yay for cute animal pictures AND funny cakes!

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I've just gotta say- these cakes are funny, but not half as funny as the funny stuff you write about them.
Thanks for the giggles.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuperDaisy

I thought the blowfish looked more like a hedgehog.

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

Why oh why would anyone buy these? Unless there is a super tasty cake under neath all that frosting..no lol. And anyone brings that CCC blah alligator to my house had best have an escape plan.

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Awww. The blowfish made my morning.

~White

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVehkaoja

Dinsdale...

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The sign next to the blowfish cake says that it should actually look more like a porcupine. Which is a huge miss.

Also for those wondering what the spikes are, they are white chocolate shards. You can find a recipe for how to make it online. Which I think I might be this weekend.

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To anonymous at 10:02 and 12:35:
I took that picture at Coney Island Pizza and Ice Cream and submitted it before I learned to read Hangul, which is why I couldn't ID it to Jen as either an attempted pika or an attempted bunny (bani?). "Coney" is the correct English spelling. :)

(Also, YAY! I'm on CakeWrecks!)

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So the animal you couldn't tell what it was... If my Korean skills don't completely fail me... it's a bunny. And it's a cookies and cream icecream cake. If anyone was wondering...

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

We have two Chinchillas and they are indeed very snuggly. Momo and Roku. You make come snuggle them anytime you're in the philly area :-)

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

i have to say the blowfish cake is extremely cute

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChava Malka Cooper

Actually, in Macbeth, when one of the witches refers to a hedgehog, she calls it a "hedge-pig." Maybe the wreckerator is a closet Shakespeare fanatic?

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin L.

I agree with @Anonymous 2/18 6:06 -- #1 is a lamb wearing gold earrings, some sort of gold thing on its nose and a wrecky attempt at a sombrero.

We all wonder who buys these -- the real question in the case of this particular cake: why is there more than one?

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

a yellow pig. why?

yikes...to all of these wrecks!

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

The real chinchilla is SO adorable!!!
The cake version...not so much.
Looks more like a cantaloupe someone iced with light blue icing and then decorated as a clown. Why?

wv: "soryagon" And all of the cake wreckers in the world say, "Soryagon for making such horrible wrecks!"

(Actually I'm glad there are wreckers out there because it keeps me smiling to visit this blog!)

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

The great thing about that not-chinchilla cake is that there's actually a picture of a bunny cake on the sign..and the two cakes don't look alike at all. It's as if the wreckerator wants you to notice how much of a wreck it is!

February 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Very funny stuff, love mr happy blowfish:)
Also, its sunday, still no post from saturday? Im hoping nothing has happened to make it so you couldn't update- so long as nothing dreadful has happened (wreckerators taking their revenge?) Please do update, im an avid reader actually reading cake wrecks is a real highlight for my days as im sick and bed bound. Thanks so much for all the laughs :) can't wait to read the next post ;)

February 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The blowfish is really cute. And crocodile looks cute as a cake ...

February 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHardware Keylogger

Other commenters have proved that my identification (Feb 18 10:23am)of the porcupine/pufferfish's spines as almonds is mistaken. I now submit a correction: they're cookies.

Now where can I buy that cake?

PS: wv is "grabemu". Let's not go there, please.

February 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Hedge-Pig is actually totally adorable! I'd love to have that cake for any occasion! Although it might be perfect for a Halloween party... Because it's already in costume... get it? No? Okay...

February 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarynSKA

Craig's "Dinsdale" comment for the win! Monty Python (still) rules!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfurpurrson

oh wha gah uh MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA something is SOOOOOO here!!!!!!!!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

The blowfish on antidepressants is pretty darn cute. :)

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I can't figure out what the Korean Chincilla cake is supposed to be but it is cookies and cream flavored.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I LOVE ANIMAL CAKES!! pretty sure that little blue thing with all the whipped cream is a fake ice cream sundae?

BLOWFISH = HILARIOUS

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

Hedgehog people (those of us who are owned by one) also call our babies hedgepigs... but yeah... no.

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok. I would seriously have that blowfish cake for my own. Ridiculous and cute!

February 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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