Tuesday
Feb152011
Conversation Starters
February 15, 2011 Show of hands: who got a box of conversation hearts yesterday? You know, the chalky little candies printed with whimsical messages of friendship and affection? Like "Booty Infl8n?"
Ok, now put your hands down. You're just embarrassing yourself.
I only ask because some lucky individuals received cake or cookie versions of the famous candies yesterday, and I'm wondering if they're all as whimsical as this:
Hey, it's no "huge me," but I'd take it.
Well I'll try, but darned if I know what "MNE" is.
Gosh, I've never been called neck wear before. Um...thank U?
Aw.The best part is this doesn't make me want to run away and file a restraining order at all.
If you're asking, then a) Seriously? and b) No.
And you're going to need another your/you're refresher.
Seriously.
No, seriously seriously.
Come over here so I can slap you.
You know, part of me thinks this simply has to mean "Sun Shine"...but the other part remembers how to write a capital S.
So I'm torn.
Thanks to wreckporters Mike L., Jennifer M., Erin, Mariel K., Sarah, Noah E., Andrew T., Amy Z., Jacque K., & Susan R., who think we should give 'em something to talk about it: LOVE.
And then maybe a dictionary.
Reader Comments (95)
*hanging head*
I... just...
I just can't look anymore.
I thought the had wrecked My Fiance to My Finance initially.
Mmm subliminal messaging in what they want in a life partner.
But no.
Haha! Totally thought the third one said "Sweet Toe"
*That* would have been embarrassing.
1- I wouldn't mind getting that one in the top left corner. It looks nummy. The 'So Big' one, though, is guaranteed to get a person slapped.
2- MNE? Mad Narwhal Exorcist?
3- Whoever V is, I wonder if they enjoy being likened to a toe.
4- Er...no. Just...no.
5- Fianice? It would fia nice if this cake wasn't so bad.
6 through 8- *headdesk*
9- See #4
10- T-omega symbol-x me?
11- Come to Luni Lhimu! Where the sun shines and the cakes are always wrecky!
vw: Jindepe- I'm jindepe in wrecked heart cakes over here.
I am pretty sure the "Your Amazing" one has a sticker over the word Tits.
*I* would be flattered to get a cake that is a tribute to my amazing tits. :)
My brother's ex wife used to always mistype that she was his financee. hmm...
OMgolly! Today's wrecks make me nearly pee my pants with giggles. LOLOLOL. It's the commentary that gets me going. You're (did you see how I spelled that) too funny.
I am so bummed I did not have my cell with me as I went past the grocery store bakery last night. Large plastic take-out boxes with chocolate dipped strawberries and a random collection of plastic flotsam and conversation hearts literally thrown all together. Thanks for these, they are great!
#1 I also see 'I O U'. The sender should expect almost anything...
#2 is from management. It stands for, 'Be My Next Employee'. Above is a sign that says, "If you can spot the problem below, let's talk."
#3 If we had written just a tad smaller, 'sweetie' would have fit. Of course, the second 't' would have to be sacrificed... Love the romantic color combination: gray and neon orange.
#4 "Help -- I know how to write and spell, and I'm trapped in this bakery!"
#5 "Let's see -- what color should the writing be? Something that goes well with Pepto pink. I know... light blue! Now I'll write really big so that the message can easily be rea..."
#6b My amazing what? Drat that label! What is a 'cake enrobed chocolate heart'? Someone baked a chocolate heart inside the cake? That should work well.
#7 Again with the gray. What's the story on these color schemes?
#8 looks like it's frosted with butter (gag). No, no -- butter *creme*. Better luck next time. A kudos on including the apostrophe and 'e', though -- now to master where Mr. Apostrophe belongs.
#9 Hug Me, Twet Me, Spellcheck Me!
#10 "The test results are in -- we need to talk right away. I hope the color scheme and the squiggle don't give away the surprise."
#11 Proof that the medium is the message. The message is: gibberish.
I think some sort of award should be presented to these bakeries.
"Your shop has been featured on Cake Wrecks. Hire literate people!"
Something like that...
The "Save Me" cake now has Remy Zero playing in my head...
Somebody saaaaaaave me
I don't care how you do it...
wv: hesed
"That's what hesed"
Tweet me? I have never heard that before...
I thought the "I heart U" monstrosity in the first picture said FOH. And you better watch out for those sweet tics. Those little rascals can burrow in like nobody's business.
The phrase "come over here so I can smack you" made me laugh.
I have to say that I was disappointed when I walked past the bakery in my grocery store yesterday....everything was spelled correctly and even the chocolate icing on the cupcakes (yes, individual cupcakes) looked really good.
I made some of those this year too!
It almost looks like they spelled "text" correctly at first, then decided that "Tex~ Me" was better.
The "so big" one is, of course, an homage to the Edna Ferber novel.
I'm sure that, just beyond the edge of the picture, there is one that says "Cabbages is beautiful."
wv - affil.
I have no affil-iation with the people who wrecked these cakes.
Save me is definitely the cry for help from the person at the bakery who's locked up in the back. You can tell by the correct spelling they do not belong there!
The creepiness of some of these also remind me of my "Worst Case Scenario" calendar that has "How to get rid of a stalker" as the how to tip on Valentine's Day!
My sweet toe!
@ Trevor- there is no bakery QC person which is why we can have this blog in the first place!
“twet me” = t(shirt)wet, me win contest
I didn't see TEX ME I saw TOX ME which was way scarier. I've been to Texas & I ain't skeered.
Of course, it could be someone just asked the wreckerator what they wanted for lunch & they forgot the other X.
-Barbara Anne
Actually I made my own message hearts this year using this recipe:
http://candy.about.com/od/valentinesdaycandy/r/convo_hearts.htm
I made some for my kid's class with the school name and her class number on them. Then I made a pile to go with my Wolverine show cake. Oh yeah. Some even have claw marks. Muahahahahaha.
BTW the feedback from the school ones was that they apparently tasted awesome (I can't eat sweets so I couldn't test them myself). I put vanilla in half and peppermint in the other half and kids and adults alike said they were leaps better than storebought, so I totally encourage others to try the recipe themselves. Easy peasy, especially if you have a little plunger cutter to churn 'em out fast.
Lol anyone who sent cookies/cakes implying I am huge would probably end up with them thrown at them. And that save me one lol what exactly does it need saving from? Because possibly I might start running and screaming.
Omg these were too funny. I had to go through them twice to get the full effect haha. Great post today.
wv: boying. Twet me and then let me know when you go boying.
Thought that last one might say "I um Thine". Or maybe Lum Thine? Glad I didn't get any of those Wrecks for Valentines Day. LOL Thanks for the laughs on every post.
"Your #1"... creepy friend w/ delusions? Indeed, you certainly are ;P
I also thought the last cake was Japanese or something and was trying to figure out what the heezy "Lum Shino" was :|
P.S. My captcha reads "hoeddit"-- I'm inclined to be flattered :P
I read the last one as "Luni Lime" or "Luni Mime", I couldn't really decide.
I'm just curious.
WHAT THE HECK MADE THAT BUMP UNDER THE ICING ON THE "MY FIANU" CAKE?!
Ahem.
Also, nobody seems to have noticed that the border on the "your #1" is migrating off the cake in embarrassement.
I really, really, really liked the script on "Your'e Mine." So pretty. So close.
That last cake could be "Gun Ghime" (slang for give me a gun) which some people would find totally appropriate on Valentine's.
-Teabunny
Be mne was probably supposed to say Be Mine, only in text speak. They were cute, except for the spelling errors..
You can read "sunshine" off of that? You've obviously had years of experience decoding bad icing-writing. The best I could decipher was "Yum Thing"...which I guess isn't that bad to put on a cake.
The "S" in that final cake looks almost exactly like the way people wrote the letter "h" in sixteenth-century secretary hand. This link is for scottish handwriting, but it's the same thing:
http://www.scottishhandwriting.com/cmLFh.asp
Also, the secretary "l" is an upright letter with only a small loop at the top. So, assuming this decorator was using the early modern secretary hand, I'd transcribe it as "hun hline".
If the decorator was using a sixteenth century hand to write in a much earlier Old English, then "hline" could be a form of the Old English verb "hlinian", meaning to lie down, recline, or rest.
So, "hun hline" could be a sexy antiquarian way of saying, honey, get into my bed. Subtle, right?
Hope that helps!
surely the last one says "Yum Thing"... well it could be worse.
wv: siesto
I've eaten so much cake I need to lie down and take a siesto.
But...but... I like the white convo hearts!
These cakes... not so much.
I sometime laugh harder at the comments to your posts - just because. You know, things like chocolate covered roses? EH?
Thanks for the laughs today.(funny how that line about 'come over here so I can slap you' is heard so often in my house) After a weekend with visiting toddlers, I needed some sanity!
~~Di
wv - scarri -- WAYYYY too easy!
NiteNurse said...
>> I do think that the phrase Maga Kum Latte should be enshrined in the Wreckie lexicon. <<
I think it's time for a new t-shirt!
wv - sperfi.
That would look just sperfi (a combination of sperm and spiffy)!
Actually, the "Be Mne" heart cake/cookie is somewhat interesting, because 'mne' in Russian means 'me' ... so the cake decorator is actually telling the recipient to be the decorator... kinda weird/neat, huh?
So, so sad.
Come over here so I can slap you. The best line ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that save me heart seems desperate. maybe it doesn't want to be eaten.
I think that last one is Arabic. Or Thai.
That one is an MNE. You know, those weird squiggly things that live in the ocean. Finding Nemo lived in one. Though I am unsure why anyone would wish another person to be one of those...
}:)
Kind of late, but the first one isn't really a wreck in the strictest sense. If you look at the top part of the picture, you can see pink boxes... Those are cookie-making kits that were sold at Target, where you could decorate the cookies yourself. So they were probably not made by professionals, but in someone's home. Or some seriously sad "professionals" who don't even bake their cookies, but buy them premade, haha.
However, it's still hilarious, and the rest of these are great!
Actually, I just posted a comment about the first photo and I take it back... On second look I can see glare, which makes me think they're display cookies from a Super Target, which is then hilarious. Sorry for momentarily discrediting the submitter!
I'm thinking the last one was supposed to be "Young Thing" but ended up as "Yun Thine"--anyone else?
The S on that Sun Shine cake looks like a Japanese "sa" in Hiragana, so I guess it kind of makes sense. Sa-un Sa-hine
I know, I know...this is usually someone else's thing, but I JUST CAN'T HELP IT!!! All-out parody time, here it comes! It's a parody of "Text Me", which is a song I've heard far too much.
Your mine!? You're mine!? Don't know!
Be mne and tex my cell-o!
Writin' on cakes just like squish-squish-squish!
I'm about to need your help, 'lish.
I'm gonna need you to save my butt now,
And I'd like it if you'd hug me and twet me, too, now!
My Fiance, sweet tie, sweet toe, who cares?
I write illegibly, and u should really just
Tex me!
If you're so big, just tex me!
I've got my cell, so tex me!
I write squiggles, so tex me!
I'm desperate, so save me!
I want u, so just tex me!
Please twet me, save me, tex me!
You might as well just tex me!
Zun Zhine, Yun Yhine, don't get it!
I can't spell, and I can't write!
Your Amazing, # 1,
Your my everything, I can't spell "sun",
But please don't just be hatin'
On my awkward writing game,
I should stick to squiggles
'Cuz I got no aim!
(No!)
Tex me!
Please twet me and please tex me!
Save me, hug me, tex me!
You might as well just tex me!