Monday
Dec122011
CLOSE THE INTERNET
December 12, 2011 This is it, guys. Time to wrap up the interwebz and just go home.
Because we will never - EVER - top this:
;)
[head tilt]
Well, at least not until tomorrow.
(Close call on that period, though, huh? I mean, if you think about it, this baker was one slip of the piping bag away from accidentally getting the punctuation right! Scary.)
Thanks, Suzanne. I'm going to go weep for our future now - just as soon as I'm done snickering.
P.S. For those who don't speak wreckerator, it was supposed to say, "Congrats First Graders!"
Reader Comments (44)
Well, my first-grader had 'a' as a spelling word a few weeks ago. After that I demanded she be given harder spelling words. (She was spelling her sister's, who's in third grade, words just fine.) Right now she has a 146% in spelling. Maybe we can have her decorate the cakes, or at least play, "What's wrong with the cake?" at the bakery.
Weep for the future.
did any of the children scratch their heads and go "huh?" lie to me, if needed.
Seriously??? Who are they HIRING?????
This site makes me think that bakeries should have a mandatory spelling test for all potential cake decorators, because it seems they don't know that cakes don't have autocorrect or spell check.
I am going to cry now.
I Particularly like the mixture of block letters and script.
Congrats First Graders... You passed the spelling test... The wreckreator didn't
Mimiheart, you have so much to look forward to in the future. My daughter has a 110% in Spanish and can't speak in complete sentences (in Spanish- she's perfectly fluent in English.)
Anyway, I wonder what the firt grades did to deserve congrate. Where they graduating?
From firt grades? No wonder recent graduates can't find jobs: They're too young to drive to their interviews.
All this and green Silly String. Yummy!
(What do you want to bet the mortarboard has "Congrats" spelled acceptably on the side?)
Mimiheart, I think her school needs to look into its math curriculum as well.
(Yes, I know, extra credit. It just struck me as funny.)
This... wow. I have no words. I really don't. But I sincerely hope that if I did know what to say about such a monstrosity, I'd at least be able to spell it...
Please, lord, if I ever have kids let them have the same passion for learning that I have. *sobs*
Never assume (or at least never state publicly) that 'this is the worst there could possibly be' -- someone out there will interpret it as a challenge and devote themselves to proving you wrong.
@Mimiheart: 146%, eh? That teacher must have an awfully interesting time during tax season. One may hope, anyway. 'A' as a spelling word -- it's better to laugh than cry, but the end result is much the same. Besides, there is still an element of challenge there; the kids have a 25-in-26 chance of getting it wrong if they guess, so they either know it or they don't.
I really was tilting my head trying to make sense of that, so I laughed extra hard when I read that in brackets.
Those poor Firts. They did so well on their tests, so the teacher wanted to give them a cake for good grades. Firts are pretty smart, you know.
Somehow I get the feeling that some folks just don't care.
I'm so glad you included the translation, because I was having a difficult time figuring out what that was supposed to say.
Reason # 7,395 I'm glad we homeschool.
@ Mimiheart - As a teacher, I love when parents tell me how to do my job.
At least they appear to have used the "bubblemint" flavored children's toothpaste to write it. That's appropriate, right?
Yep. You got me on the head tilt- when I was mid head tilt.
Epic.
I am a cake decorator and let me tell you, they are hiring anyone who wants a job whether or not they can do the job just so they will work for minimum wage! That's why there is such funny crap out there!
White phoenix rises
out of the scorched inscription.
Conflagrate, cursed jay!
Actually, Congrate Firts (pronounced con-gra-tee, rhymes with karate) is a recent graduate with a degree in education (hence the mortarboard.) Because of all the budget cuts, she can't get a permanent teaching position. Instead, she's trying to get substitute teaching jobs, in competition with all the other people who offer substitute teaching. In order to get noticed, she left the above cake in the teacher's lounge of the nearby elementary school. She used the pristine surface of the cake -- its tabula rasa, if you will -- to point out why SHE should be a substitute. Unlike regular subs who simply hold down the fort while the teacher is gone, she also grades the work students turn in. The lucky teacher who chooses Congrate as a sub doesn't come back to a pile of ungraded work.
Really, that must be it. Any other explanation would make me curl up in a corner and sob, or grab a frosting bag and start a vigilante cake correcting gang. Neither option would be pretty.
I'd ask if it was first graders writing on the cake, but that's an insult to first graders!! Perhaps preschoolers?
I really like the green worm like icing work. Adds that special touch.
@Sharyn, LOL!
CanMay I get in on that gig? Code name it 'the department of corrections'. I suggest ninja suits, just because. We can take 'before' pictures and send them to Jen (code name: Her Supreme Cakey Snark Person or HSCSP) in real time before carrying out the mission. Everyone must agree that if caught, we will disavow any knowledge of Cake Wrecks or any person or persons associated with it.Thanks for the translation ... I was stuck at the letter after the 'n' on the firts word and I am sooo relieved to know it is a 'g'.
Could be the wreckerator, could be the person that ordered it (okay, I'm stretching here). My youngest went to preschool in southern California. The teacher's first language wasn't English; she couldn't pronounce simple words like 'birthday' correctly... she said BIRDAY (no 'th') and she was teaching kids who were still developing language skills. SCARY!
Oh man now that is just plain wrong. Seems these graduates are getting younger and younger each year. And I really have to wonder if they thought the customer would buy this cake or just laugh and toss it at them.. hmm lol.
Same here, Svhadden.
We need a like button for the comments.
My dad go into an elevator with a college student and said, "Up, please." They were on the top floor. The student pushed the top floor button. Nothing happened. As the doors closed, the guy pushed the top floor button again and the doors opened. It's a sad day when an adult can't work an elevator. But this cake is somehow worse.
Hahahahahaha!!! Love these cakes!!! feng shui bed placement
[Editor's note- Hi Regina! Love your comment. I suppose it would have made more sense if I had left your spam links in. Ah well. Thanks! -john]
@Craig
Excellent plan -- you're in. The ninja suits should have some beautifully executed decorative piping on the cuffs and collar, because I like the irony. We'll carry confiscated CCC's in case we get caught, feed them to our captors and escape during their ensuing sugar comas. If that doesn't work, we'll confess it's all part of a performance art project for our Wilton cake decorating class at the local Michael's store. (HSCSP must be shielded at all times.) Our motto? "DOC -- frost it right or feel our might."
Public school is not that bad. Unfortunately it requires a little initiative since most classes are overflowing with students and a little money to buy supplies.
The lazy baker let his first grader do her thing on this one. I hope.
At least there is a little graduation cap! it could have been some frosting blob with a clown head
I had a chuckle at the cake but really - why is everyone so surprised? I was always an excellent speller and seeing mis-spelled words irritates me beyond reason, but my point is that I face this every day. It's not just cake decorators (but for years I've been telling them that CONGRATULATIONS has a "T" in the middle, not a "D"), it's just about every one who left school after 1985 (or thereabouts). Since most teenagers can't SPEAK the language, how can you expect them to spell? As for adults - they have no excuse at all. People have become dependent on a computer's spell-check, but they forget that to a computer "they're" "their" and "there" are all correct words, it doesn't care if you are using the wrong version! I would like to say so much more, but I think I've belaboured the point enough. How do we STOP this?
congrates firt graders, you passed first grade! It must have been so hard because I didn't!
@Sharyn & Craig- I'll drive!! I look real sweet and innocent so no one will suspect me! ;)
Ok, @Barbara Anne. I'm thinking we should recruit @Dorothy as well.
Strategy meeting at the EPCOT bunker. Everyone bring their favorite noms.
Be there -- aloha.
DOC -- expanding the area of literacy, one cake at a time (but documenting carefully the wreckage for the sake of laughs).
This one reminded me of a relatively recent episode over here in Bonnie Scotland. The authority I work for had to take the unpopular decision to close a school. The schoolkids protested by hanging a banner from the railings. The banner read: "WHY UZ?'
Beautiful.
@Barbara Anne -- Welcome! What color would you like for your ninja suit?
@Sharyn- pink. I don't like to wear pink so it would put me in an appropriately surly mood. Plus, it's a girlie color so they'll underestimate my wrath!!
I want a backpack mounted container of pressurized icing instead of just a piping bag- don't cross the streams!!
@Barbara Anne -- Great idea, as long as you agree NEVER to fill it with chocolate frosting. We can also have a containment unit for CCCs (patooie!)
@Mrs. Murphy I'm a teacher too. I'd rather have parents tell me that their children need more of a challenge than have a kid be bored in my class and act up.