Thursday
Dec012011
Now This One Really Slays Me
December 1, 2011 Things I just learned:
1: In the adoption process, the day the Consent to Adoption is given is known as the Execution Day.
2: That's not as chipper-sounding as you might think when iced on a cake:
;)
...well, unless we're talking about a wood chipper. Then, maybe.
3. A photo of Dora being attacked by a monkey is so. not. helping.
Thanks to Megan G., who tells me something here was "lost in the translation."
I'm guessing the picture of the wood chipper.
Reader Comments (69)
Is that...cheesecake? Cheesecake-esque frosting? Why is it glistening? And why do I find this more important than the original point??
Dora, DIE!!! said the purple monkey MWHAA HAHAHAA
*Sqeaky voice* WHY???? *--- voice* TO KILL YOU MY DEAR
Lolz
I didn't know a Sharpie marker would work on a cake. So I learned something, too.
My first thought was maybe there is a file in it.
I can only imagine the baker's thought process when they saw that one. "Worst case scenario: serial killer taunting the child he has locked in the basement. Oh, well, as long as I'm getting paid."
The idea behind it's not bad, but the execution is terrible. (Also, seriously, there are a lot of pointy bits among the kiwi, and it's kind of glossy and freaky and the letters look like they got shoved half a centimeter to one side.)
Wow! and not only does it read funny, it's an ugly cake to boot!
They say you can have anything you want for your last meal.
It looks like somebody wanted cake.
I've never heard that term. I've always heard it referred to as "Gotcha Day". The word 'execution" should never be used anywhere in the adoption process! With Dora and Boots? YES!! Adoption? No.
And what are all those pointy looking things all over the cake? And the black-ish things that look like dried leaves? Stuff that looks like broken glass bits does not equate with welcome and deliciousness.
Long time listener, first time caller...oh wait, that's for Mr. Obvious...
Today we're starting test execution, so this was wonderfully topical! We may have to order a homage (and send pictures, of course!).
Are those black bits the charred remains of the execution repreive, signed by the gov? So many things wrong with this cake, so many, many things. *headshake*
HUH?!
I am kind of in love with this cake... although, the explanation takes away some of my glee. I should go look at it again!
I think the black leaves on the flowers add just the right 'execution' touch.
:(
Contorted prunes mourn.
Inscription weeps and stomps around.
Purposeless kiwis.
Are those slugs on the cake?
And what's written next to "11-1o-11"?
Very creepy, even without the Dora picture.
We use the term "Forever Family Day" which sounds a LOT better than "Execution Day!" We've never ordered a cake, but I might make one! It will not contain neither Dora nor Boots!
Point #4 - the mini black arm bands and green slimey slug like objects....also not helping
and it looks like a there is a long hair on the cake too
Apparently, the wreckerator was so proud of their work, they signed the cake.
You can see it there right after the date.
It reads, "Hannibal Lecter"
SueBee, Gary and Haiku Joy: Hee!
Given all the implied threats (Dora / pointy / shiny / things of questionable identity), maybe 'execution' is the operative term.
Is that a signature next to 11-10-11? If so, and given the apparent registration problem on the inscription, it looks as though we have a flotsamized cake that was also run through a printer. ('Could' and 'should' may rhyme, but they are not synonymous.)
Excellently ironic mixture! I love it, and I haven't even tasted the cake yet.
I'm always on the lookout for combinations like this!!!
Wow! That icing looks scrumptious! (We don't have to be negative about everything.)
Well, remember: "a hug is a strangle you haven't finished yet"!
Jen, you should have left out the explanation of the term "Execution Day." I believe that may have led to an absolutely fabulous EPCOT. I think I'll just go create this scenario in my head.
On a day that's supposed to celebrate absolutes, all this cake does is raise questions. Questions like: what are those black things that look like dried-up leaves? Why did the decorator write across the picture so you can barely read half the inscription? What did the decorator write the inscription WITH, for that matter--it looks like it bled...I didn't know frosting did that? Why use kiwis--the color is not particularly cheerful? Was this decorator insane or just incompetent?
i think those "black thingies" are actually little shards (écorce) of dark chocolate. At my job we do the écorce thing, but with white or milk chocolate. I imagine in a picture, and with black, dark chocolate it would look as confusing as what is up there.
Is it me, or there is a "shadow" of the writing? Did the decorateur had to redo the writing and was too lazy to properly scrap it? (And scale it)
Buyer: I want a cake that says "Congratulations on the Adoption."
Bakery employee: Let's see ... Can ... grad ... du ... la ... sion ...
Buyer: Uh ... better make that "Happy Adoption."
Bakery employee: Happy what?
Buyer: A-dop-tion.
Bakery employee: How do you spell that?
Buyer: Oh, the heck with it. Just write "Happy execution day," OK?
I was trying to figure out what the texture of that icing reminded me of and I think I finally got it; the tin of bacon grease my dad used to keep beside the stove.
To distract myself from that puke-provoking thought I wondered what the person at the bakery who took this order thought of it, and here's what I imagined, borrowing from The Beatles "Revolution":
You say it’s for an execution
Well, you know,
“Happy” might not be the word.
Injection or electrocution?
Well, you know,
Could be best the message blurred.
Is it just me, or does the whole thing look like it was written with a Sharpie?
It looks like Dora is surrounded by fangs. (You want 'positive', you got it.)
If it's Dora getting executed, that's fine with me. May it be a long and painful one.
.. is that broken porcelain cup shards on it? ... I don't really understand the white frosting things.
I don't have a problem with an adoption cake (my step-dad adopted me and my mom adopted my step-brother and sister -- in fact, the law being what it was, in order for me step-dad to adopt me, my mom had to, as well... Don't ask. I don't understand, myself). I'd have loved one.
I don't get why ANYONE would choose "Execution Day" instead of "Adoption Day".
Or why you wouldn't:
1) try the marker out to see it worked
2) try the spacing of the letters first
It's not frosting, it's a Kiwi Cake with pudding, and the words were most likely written with a food marker. Although, it's the black petals(?) that confuse me. I just want to ask why??
Are those fangs all around the edges? Or broken handles of coffee mugs intended for use as shivs?
@zoomom: Brilliant, as always!
Based on the shape of the numerals and the Arabic-looking signature, this may be a case of an ESL decorator. That doesn't give the wreckorator a pass, but it could explain some things. The spacing is still atrocious, the frosting is way too shiny, and what is with the kiwis?...
The writing next to the date appears to be Arabic, but I'm not sure what it says.
That cake confuses me more than it should...why is it shiny? Why are there green olives and black things as decoration? why is the writing too big? Gaaaah!!
I'm glad other people have suggested the black squiggles are slugs or charred leaves ... I thought maybe they were Mo-vember rejects.
Are. Thoes. Kiwi Wedges? ? ? I am soooo confused and why is DORA on an excecution cake? Did they adopt Dora??
Cat feces as a cake decoration? Why not? And that shine is downright creepy.
The "scribbles" to the right of the date looks like something written in Arabic or Persian. I think it's Arabic, but I can't really tell.
Rivenis, I thought the same thing! A hair is on the cake!
Ah, must have been the Judges' turn to order the cake for the sentencing party...and he's got a sense of humor, how charming....
On the positive side:: Dora is still smiling. On the negative side: everything else to do with this cake.
LOVE the juxtaposition! So rare and so tempting...
"Hola, I'm Dora, and this is my friend, Boots. Today, we're going to talk about why I'm in therapy. That's "terapia" in Spanish. Can you say "terapia?" Bueno!"