Tuesday
Nov152011
Howdy, Pilgrim?
November 15, 2011 Thanksgiving is coming, my friends, so here's a handy guide for identifying the goods in your local bakery:
1) Anything in a black hat is a pilgrim.
;)
"Top o' the morning to ye!"
;)
"Hola."
;)
"Buh-KAWK!"
2) Anything in a blue headband is a Native American.
;)
"Could I...BE any creepier?"
;)
"Yep, I guess I could."
;)
"Now let's get sweatin' to those oldies, ladies!"
3) Everything else is a turkey.
;)
Probably.
Thanks to Brittany W., Louise C., Angela B., Angelica W., Jenn, Dave B., & Samantha E., who figure that last wreck is worth at least two bucks.
Hey Austin! We'll see you tonight at 7pm. WOOHOO!!!
Reader Comments (77)
Grazing bucks lift heads
A rainbow behind them? NO!
Dinosaur Turkey!
Why does the first one have a drain stopper on its head?
Hey, way to use up those unsold pumpkin cakes leftover from Halloween.
I thought the second one would say, "Aaargh, avast ye mateys!"
i find that last cake surprisingly awesome for some reason i can't quite pin down. I think it might be the question mark, as if the thing was asking permission. This is somehow doing some mind-bending magic on me to make me think that ... whatever it is ... is sort of cute.
The deer in that last cake are just glad that all of the buckshot went to the turkey. No venison on the menu tonight!
Why Is "Gobbles?" wearing a Lone Ranger mask?
Shouldn't at least one of those Indians have a silent tear running down??
I kind of love the random plastic deer in the last one too...wtf?
The ninja deer are back!!!
1. The yellow "pilgrim" cake...where to begin? A beak AND a mouth? The lines?
2. The last one is clearly the Smoke Monster from Lost, in disguise to lure those poor deer in to their doom.
That last cake is a picture of a Turkesaurus Wrex. Although they look sweet and a little addled, they were actually quite ferocious, often gobbling up several whole deer in one sitting -- in fact, their distinctive call resulted in the English word "gobble." Generally, before their prey encountered the T. Wrex's fowl teeth, they had already died of asphyxiation from T. Wrex's foul breath. Turkesaurus Wrex are generally considered extinct, although there have been several bakery sightings in recent years.
It's an all Thanksgiving Wrecks cast of Alice in Wonderland, with Alice played by Richard Simmons, Pigrim Pirate as the Mad Hatter and a special appearance by the Cheshire Turkey.
Enjoyed the Chandler reference :). I honestly wonder how people get away with selling this stuff...
#5: Snape in a headband?
I think the "Gobbles?" on the last cake is a South Park Thanksgiving reference...although I don't recall the South Park turkey being 180x the size of a deer...
The chicken with the cowpat on its head is hilarious. It looks like the wreckerator never had a clear idea of what kind of cake s/he wanted to make. "Pacman? pumpkin? I don't know, just put some flaming poo on the top and call it done."
I find the 4th cake strangely compelling. It looks a sort of tree spirit.
I keep expecting #5 to break into "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves".
13.88 for 24 cupcakes displaying a turkey's final nightmare/hope for reprieve
I guess at 58 cents each a coherent thought IS a bit much to expect!
1st Indian - I am marginally impressed with the subtle shading achieved with the use of the airbrushing. Reminds me of the leaf people some people attach to trees. I did say marginally.
2nd Indian – Since when do we celebrate Cher at Thanksgiving?
*snort*
"Hola" is my mariachi dad!
#1 What is the 'garnish' -- earthworms? I'm thankful that I don't need to see this cake up close and personal-like. @SaraCVT, do you mean unsold pumpkin cakes from 2005, by chance?
#2 I think we're missing the C-C-Cause of the wreckiness, here.
#3 "I was going to make a Thanksgiving-themed Barbie cake, but we're almost out of frosting and we don't have any more torsos (as an avalanche of legs tumbles onto the floor)." [snaps fingers] "Wait -- it's coming to me -- yes, a giant chicken head! It can be a burden, being so darn creative..."
#4 Iron Eyes Cody weeps over what has become of his beloved bakery.
#5,6 Imagine what he'd do if the saw these.
#7 I'm also thankful that I don't live in prehistoric America, where tiny deer were hunted by the giant neon-tailed bandit turkey (the tail glows in the dark during mating season to attract prospective mates -- and approximately 11 million bugs). Thankfully, the deer were able to find sanctuary on another cake.
OMG didn't we screw the Indians enough with our policies, now look how we made them look D:
I think the chicken I supposed to be a scarecrow.
Never made one of those because they are ugly.
The deer! The dirt looking crumbles!!! The eyes!! "Gobbles?"!!!!
I think I have a new favorite wreck.
Well looks like the crossover of Leprechaun and Pumpkinhead has finally happened!
Here we see an escaped Napoleon trying to blend in at a Thanksgiving dinner party.
Pacman gets into the fun of celebrating turkey day!
Indians thought they had it bad with ye Od Hickory, looks like they were wrong.
Here we see the Jabberwocky in it's natural environment as it prepares to bring down a pair of Odocoileus virginianus for it's next meal. Thrill as it's eyes fixate on it's targets as it prepares to pounce.
I think the first one they were trying to disguise Epcot...
That.is.all
Uh. I also kind of like the first "Native American" tree-spirit cake. I like the subtle use of icing to create lips, nose and cheek bones. I do believe it is a CCC (patooie!). What has become of me!? *hangs head in shame*
It appears the deer and the shrubbery (along with that swarm of bees) in the last one are being sucked up towards the Cheshire Bandit Wrex's black hole eyes.
My real live turkeys would think that last cake was totally wonderful, especially deer small enough to beat the stuffing out of.
And not one of those "Indians" is weeping at the trash. Tsk tsk.
*squee* for tonight! My wreck is ready! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BTW, thanks for bringing rain with you! We need it! Just remember if you go into Austin at all to give yourselves at least two hours to get back up to the venue. I'm not kidding. I'm leaving at 5. Traffic will be hell.
PS I'm going to make you some nerdy gummies in a minute as a post-event road snack.
wow--that spray painted, sprinkled, masked Turkey of Doom is totally freaking out those bucks! by saying "Gobbles?" is it asking to share their freaked out grass or is he propositioning them to dinner (as venison??)
I love how he's just like Gobbles?as if he isn't sure he's a turkey
The random plastic bucks on the last cake are the strangest thing, IMO. But these all give new meaning to the term, "turkey."
So excited for tonight!! Buh-KAWK!!
I thought #3 was an Angry Bird!
That last cake is amazing. Finally, proof of the long-rumored cheshire turkey. Unlike cheshire cats which disappear leaving only a smiling mouth, the cheshire turkey vanishes leaving only two big glowing eyes. This cheshire turkey has obviously been caught mid-vanish. Most people also don't know that cheshire turkeys can grow to fifty feet tall.
I really like the green man cake (4). Why did they add all the blue piping?
The Deer in the last cake didn't pay attention to the Caterpillar. They ate the wrong side of the mushroom as now the Jackson Pollock turkey menaces them.
Um, I just read over my earlier post and, um, that's supposed to be Pilgrim Pirate, not Pigrim Pirate. I don't know what a "pigrim" is but it sounds sorta nasty.
(The irony of it is that I have just recently decided to make cakes professionally because I thought "Hey, if people buy those horrible things I see on Cake Wrecks, they ought to be willing to pay for what I'm making!" and then, as if by some kind of Cake Wrecks Fairy magic, I can no longer spell basic words and I have lost the ability to proof-read.)
#5 CCCs encourage Cher-ing.
That first one is still killing me. The beard and nose on that one, I mean.. how the heck did they get that on there like that?? No little voice in their head saying "this is soo wrong"? lmao!
(Re: second picture)
What does Captain Morgan have to do with Thanksgiving?
#5 Totally Michael Jackson
I cannot help staring at the top pilgrim with the (previously mentioned) drain-stopper hat....... i am both mesmerized and horrified at once. It's like a combo Amish Irish Rabbi Pilgrim cake-o-plenty. It's the official cornucopia of wonderment......... back i go for another glimpse.
Did the two deer want sprinkles?
Lol "Hola"...I hated making the pilgrim face pull-apart cupcake thing... with it's eyes closed it made me think pilgrim was dead.
The 2nd Indian is actually a Cher cake.
The first two native americans made me want to cry. I mean they creeped the poops out of me!
Hi. I'm the happy Indian chick with the big blue headband and I just want to say that I object to being lumped in with those other creepy Native Americans. I happen to think I'm adorable.And just so you know, at the first Thanksgiving the turkeys were actually bigger than the deer. Otherwise we would have eaten the deer. DUH.
"Anything in a blue headband is a Native American."
Yeah? A Native American WHAT, exactly? The way that face is smooshed, I think it was dropped face-down and then tossed back on display as is.
And what's UP with peoples' PERSPECTIVE??? That Day-Glo thing (is that a Coppertone tan?) has pupils as big as its cheeks!
Hey-Mick Jagger called; he wants his mouth back.
I LIKE that last, bizarre CCC...I don't KNOW why. It's just funky and cute. I'd give it a home and tell it every day that it's pretty, unique, special, and two deer for words.
haha I appreciated the Friends reference.