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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov102011

Heeere Leezard, Leezard, Leezard!

Could switching to GEICO really save you 15% or more on car insurance?

...

Do bakeries in Florida have a problem with lizards?

 

"S'alright.  'E's probably just restin'."

 

Thanks to Anony M. for finding a wreck my cats would LOVE.

« The REST of the Story | Main | Wrecky Replay: Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party »

Reader Comments (107)

Blech!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranna

Have you seen this:
http://notalwaysright.com/piece-of-cake/14721

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

I can think of at least one person who would buy that cake at half price...

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaryanne

I think the bakery is trying to start a new tradition... You know like the baby in the king cake for Mardi Gras. Red Lizard for Veteran's Day. YUM! :)

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulieF (Go Cards!!! WOOO)

Ee's not pining, ee's DEAD! Ee's pushing up daisies. Bereft of life, ee's joined the Choir invisible..... THIS IS AN EX-LIZARD!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervandalfan

Can't believe so many people are grossed out by cute wittle lizards! Everytime I had to go to Florida to visit family I spent my whole time chasing and catching the lizards lol If it wasn't for the heat, humidity, and crap ton more bugs, Florida would be an awesome state :3 My grandma even lived near a lake that had alligators! Good times. As for the cake. I wouldn't be wasting time snapping a picture, I'd be grabbing it and marching up to yell at someone about animal abuse and then ripping open the cake and freeing the little guy. :/ (if it is indeed real)

And srsly I'd much rather have adorable lizards getting in my house than giant freaking black spiders.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Okay...I'm with the "how did you miss that!" crowd, and no, I wouldn't buy it.

BUT...anoles aren't well-known for carrying diseases.
Anoles do an amazingly efficient and thorough job of getting rid of ants and cockroaches and apiders.
And Anoles are frigging *everywhere* in Florida.

No harm, but that's still enough to warrant a health citation.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnn Onnamus

Well, of course they put a lizard on the cake. How else do you expect them to get the bugs out of the frosting?

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

You know what I think? I think this is an economy attempt at a self-sustained ecosystem.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@ Stephanie:

I'm SO with you! SAVE the little critter. IT/he/she didn't ASK to be in that stupid cake box. It/he/she probably doesn't even LIKE cake (especially really ugly ones--cakes, not lizards).
Let's you & I go picket that store/bakery/halfway house. Call a TV station to get publicity...and radio and newspaper reporters; the whole nine yards.
Free the lizard!!
FREE the LIZard!!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Is the lizard on the cake or on the plastic? Because it makes a huge difference if it is.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Anamorous, you are a sick puppy and i love you.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthekrysti

"Um, Mr. Head Decorator, there's a lizard on this cake. Should I still put the lid on it and put it out to sell?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's a lizard on the cake."

"It's a decoration."

"Are you sure? It's a lizard."

"Of course it's a decoration."

"Um. Okay. Sorry, little guy."

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

I have acquired a young lizard and have begun training it to lie very still on a bed of buttercream. Soon I will be able to remove the teeny tiny manacles.
By the time Jen's third book comes out, he will be totally ready to adorn a cupcake at a book signing.
I can hardly wait!!!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

I'll have a slice without so much lizard in it.

One slice of lizard cake without so much lizard in it later...

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

kudos to Kimberly Chapman and Amy's Mom!!!

when I had a kitty and a leapin' lizard would get into the house I'd let the cat catch it, pick her up, take her to the front porch and smack the back of her head until she dropped it. We'd then hotfoot it back in and shut the lizard out. No harm, no foul (and, no, I didn't hit her hard- she was always so surprised to get hit she'd drop it fast). The only downside was she'd wander for an hour, searching for her prize.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

ok, if i promise to switch to geico will you please get the lizard off the cake?!!?

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermalisa

The sad thing is, that the cake is awful even without the poor dead lizard.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersandy

I love lizards... just not to eat...

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

The post title had me laughing. The first line had me laughing out loud. The rest of the post had me guffawing!!!
And now I shall go make sure the cake in my fridge is lizard free!!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenBen

Buy it for the lizard. Someone's got to save him from that cake!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Years ago, while on vacation in Florida, a lizard, just like this one, ran along the inside window ledge. After that startling discovery, we noticed many MANY little brown pellets on the same window sill, at the edge of the table, and behind the napkin holder. We had just finished breakfast.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSueT

@ Kimberly Chapman, you win the best comment award!!! I loled all over myself!!!!

But seriously how else do you explain how a lizard got ON the cake?!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim Thompson

Sharyn........

Your post made me laugh out loud!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Is the lizard all right? Did someone set him free? I have to know what happened to the little guy!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTNB

How the leetle leezard got on zee cehk -or- How the cake decorator quit his day job

1) Decorator ices red velvet cake.
2) Decorator sprinkles red velvet crumbs all over outside, leaving convenient patch bare.
3) Decorator fills convenient bare patch with convenient live lizard.
4) Puts on lid and adds to shelf.
5) Waits for boss to find out.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRen

Worse yet. Look at the tail. It has obviously lost part of it at some point. So, where is the rest of the tail?

Ewwwww.......

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

Maybe some prankster put it in there after the cake was already on the shelf? Regardless, ewwww!

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

I wonder how much frosting did the cake start out with, and how much did the lizard consume before passing out in a sugar coma??

Note to self: do NOT have cake in Florida . . . ever.

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

i hope that's a fake lizard. if not, i think i'll stay away from flordia. no offense to those from there.

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

Oh heck I lived in Florida and lizards like this would be in my house..and that looks like a real lizard lol. I honestly would hope the wreckerator wouldn't include a dead lizard on the cake. Ugh at the thought..

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That is a Costco Red Velvet Cake. I work in the bakery at the Costco in my city. Never had any stray lizards/geckos/anoles on any of our cakes that I'm aware of. lol

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

@thekrysti:

I'll take your sick puppy love and raise you one Gila monster!
Ahhh--I love the smell of compliments in the morning...

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

@Barbara Anne:
You'd "...smack the back of her head ... she'd wander for an hour..."
("...I didn't hit her hard")...
Let's see if I got this right:
* You DON'T like the lizard-- check.
* Kitty LIKES the lizard- -check.
* Kitty GETS the lizard-check.
* You bop Kitty on her noggin for catching the lizard and keeping it away from you-check..
All I can say is, I don't think I'D care to do any favors for you. >,<

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Wow...that is gross...like couldn't they tell when they closed the lid that there was something in it!! Seriously!

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ Mathen

Just another reason NOT to visit Florida!

PS: I liked the haiku!

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTonia

On or in, it's better than what used to run rampant in the bakery I used to work in...that's right, the dreaded cockroach. Now THAT was disgusting!

P.S. I caught myself tipping my iPad to see if I could tell if it was in or on. I think I need another cup of coffee...

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusanB

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! This is why I joined a good MLM (name not mentioned) so I can move my bottom back to northern New Jersey so I can't get cakes like this! I have scoliodentosaurophobia, and this cake screams that very fear of those little lizzies in Florida (I live near Tampa) in my face!

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertalfonso

@~anamorous~ It’s even worse than you think. Pertinent fact left out: lizards run from cats and cats cannot climb walls, so I’d hold her up high so she could catch it and THEN take her prize away. Other than that, she had a charmed life and she never held it against me- all hairballs were considerately deposited on my mom’s side of the house. :D

Also, I don’t usually ask people for favors as I’m not fond of smacking them on the head…
okay, I lied. I like smacking people on the head a little too much so I try to avoid doing it (can’t wipe the HUGE grin off my face so the “innocent” game is completely blown).

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@ Stephanie...
I actually think the "wittle" lizard IS cute...just not on a cake...on a bakery shelf...in a store...alive or dead...under or on top of the lid....
Ewww!

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

@Barbara Anne:

Oh, I'd MUCH rather smack people- heads (as opposed to cats'). People tend to be ever so much more deserving of it, generally speaking.
Perhaps your old friend has wings now, with which to fly higher than any wall, and catch anything her bloodthirsty little heart desires...
; )

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

This cake totally reminded me of a video on one of those television shows. I guess lizards just have a sweet tooth!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSGg8R60YTQ

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaxson

But you asked for sprinkles!

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobynR

LOL-ing at anamorous and Barbara Anne!

Nothing like a good DiNozzo (NCIS) *slap* upside the head to make one's day!!!!!

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

"Uh-oh....I tink I need a beeger box..."

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought it was cute. I hope it's alive and got free. I love lizards! Now the cake itself is ugly; but I pity the poor gecko

November 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMars

in the face of this unique gateau, I cannot remain silent; so must toss out my FIRST POST after years of Cakewrecks lurking pleasure...

Please, somebody-- call GUSSIE FINK-NOTTLE!

November 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaria Jette

@Barbara Anne:

You had much better luck with cat compliance than my wasband ever did. I'll always have the picture in my head of him insistently holding our cat over an interloping critter, ordering her to "pick it up! Pick. It. Up!!", while she firmly shut her mouth and turned her head from side to side.

November 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOma's Dreamer

Having been born and raised in Miami, yes those little stinkers are everywhere. It reminds me of one Thanksgiving dinner. I must have been in high school when it happened. My younger brother could not find his hamster and when my mother picked up the lid of the box the Pumpkin Pie was in, there was that hamster just snacking down. We kids found it hilarious, my mother and father were not so amused. Thanks for the memory

November 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

Like Nani, I've lived in Florida all of my life, but I've never seen anything like this. I certainly hope this lizard was on top of the cake cover and not in there, for the sake of any customers and the baker.

November 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

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