When The World Ends, Blame The Ninja Deer
October 5, 2011 You know how sometimes we like to zoom in to see all the wrecky details?
Well, it turns out sometimes we should zoom OUT.
Take this wedding cake, for example:
;)
While I think you'll agree that finger-smeared "camouflage" is a true wonder to behold, there's no way for you to fully appreciate the entire artistic "tableau" - the one hinted at by that snippet of caution tape in the background - until you zoom out a ways:
;)
I'll forgive the balloons, the little boot vases, and even the toy tractors - but two plywood boards balanced on a used tractor tire? That's time to take a stand, people. And burn it.
And, ok, since you insist:
;)
Whoah, whoah, whoah. Where did those tiny deer come from?!
No, seriously, did you see any tiny plastic deer in those first two photos? 'Cuz I didn't.
Wait.
I just thought of something:
What if the deer were wearing camouflage?
{***}
That sound just then?
That was your mind being blown.
Many thanks to Anony M., who also provided a photo of the bridal party, but I've decided to protect the identities of the guilty. After all, any bridesmaid forced to wear a camo dress with a neon orange petticoat and cowboy boots has suffered enough, don't you think?
Reader Comments (132)
PLEASE post the wedding party pic at Flickr or something and then leave us all a link. I am sure it's a must see.
This is one of those days when "Cake Wrecks" earns its title.
After all, any bridesmaid forced to wear a camo dress with a neon orange petticoat and cowboy boots has suffered enough, don't you think?
no. no, they haven't. this is something that must be shared with the world. because nothing soothes the pain like having the whole world
laught atcry with you.I'm sure for Cletus & Brandine it was a day to remember. I'm intrigued by the serving implements too - is that a saw and a trowel?
I never "tire" of seeing cakes like this...great post (although I have to admit, at first glance I didn't see the bottom three layers....hahahahahahaha).
Maybe I've missed it but no one has pointed out that this reception was clearly held in a barn! That is a round hay baler behind the cake. Talk about some decor. Now all I can think about is dust and dirt , ewwwwwwwww. Of course you weren't supposed to climb on it or anything hence the caution tape, so at least that wasn't part of the actual decorations.
Either this was all a joke and the bride and groom would be thrilled to have their photo posted here,
OR it was actually their dream wedding and the bride and groom would be thrilled to have their photo posted here. Either way, i'd be thrilled to see their photo posted here.
Ok, this is officially the best wreck ever. It has every element you could hope for. And it's sitting on a giant used tire.
Can we pretty pretty please see the wedding party photos? You can always cover up their faces!!
So I had to see those bridesmaid dresses, so I started googling. Scary thing was I found some cute camo dresses. Truly horrific is on one site http://camoformal.com/index.php/bridesmaids/dresses/hc-7621-erica-in-colors.html?SID=igink2osolfak7p4jo838mu7a2 you get the camo dress, orange tulle under it and YOU CAN ADD RHINESTONES! Oh, oh! Add the Orange and Rhinestone choker too!
Jen, I miss your quotes.
If I had to guess, I'd guess those deer (does?) are HO train scale deer, and so very tiny. You can see they're shorter or around the same height as the frosting trim on the layers.
I have nothing against the theme itself, especially if the bride and groom are tractor enthusiasts. The cake servers are cute (though there is something distressingly Martha Stewart/OCD about gluing fifty feet of twine, ribbons and bells to your custom-etched silverware).
No, it's the execution that gets me. The color work is less "camouflage" and more "explosion at the creamed spinach factory (with flowers)." The layers are off-center. The middle layer has a bulge in one side, reminiscent of canned botulism (or perhaps a shotgun wedding). There are too many colors, and they clash with themselves.
The topper is too big.
Well, there is a theme to it... The real wreck are those flowers at the top - they look so random. That and little deers that some people probably chocked on.
Apparently, camo bridesmaids dresses are a real thing. A search on Google Images turned up dozens of pictures. I think the hubby and I are going to need to do a vow renewal, STAT!
Any chance that the bride and groom are related to these folks?
@Lizzyland - thank you so much for posting that link, who knew such things existed???
Y'all never been around real rednecks? Whooaaa, Sugar! This is so well done it is mind boggling: all intention, no wreck. Not one single mistake except the shotgun is under the table. The attention to detail ... those aren't plywood, those are real barn boards. Can we have pictures of the bachelor party cake AND the bridesmaid dresses? And the Best Man when he tried to stand up for the ceremony?
You could put Censor Bear over the faces. I know the idea behind rented tuxes (and presumably, bridesmaids' dresses) is to ensure return by making them something one wouldn't want to be caught dead in at one's own funeral, but how bad could these be? (If that sounds like a dare, it is.)
One cousin getting married is better than two cousins getting married.
What's with the red / green thing on the topper? Red Green? Red light / green light?
Ok, I know it's Case / Deere (kind of wondering how I know, since I've never been on a farm) -- wouldn't it be a hee-haw if those were the names?
I'm sure it was a blast. I would try to work in something about a 12-gauge, but that evokes the imagery of a shotgun wedding.
Another minority vote. Too bad it's at night. It should really be outside against a background of BBQ drums and of shaken beer foam arcs with the escorts lofting flaming marshmallows on long steel sticks in salute. Hey, I'd attend in camo.
Why do you guys keep posting one cake at a time? It's really annoying. I miss the old posts with a handful of cakes at once. At least then the combined badness was usually funny... one cake isn't worth it unless it's REALLY bad. Just my 2 cents.
[Editor's note- Sorry that you don't like it, Ember. As a general rule, we put up long posts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and two short ones on Tuesday and Thursday. And of course, ten cakes on Sunday. It's the best we can do at the moment with an incredibly stressful 5-week tour coming up. Thanks for the feedback.- john]
The real question is - where DID those little deer come from? Creepy.
I especially like the fire extinguisher in the background. Adds a nice ambiance to the cake setting, don't you think?
Well considering the wedding reception is being held in a garage... what can one expect. :-)
You guys should totally hire Sharyn up there to write for you -- her idea of the duct tape bouquet is sheer sticky genius!
omg, PLEASE post the bridal party photo!
Talk about a redneck wedding. *shudders* If anyone asks me to marry him and then suggests "camo" as the color scheme, I'm calling it off.
Very funny post!! I admit the camouflage cake is weird, but how you write the post, makes it so funny that I had my share of daily laugh. Everyone has different taste, and as for this cake.... whatever makes the bride HAPPY!
Love your site!
Eh, lots of people (especially in the North Woods and the South) do these types of hillybilly theme weddings. They dig em'. No, really. They LOVE them. Their guests all dress the part, as well. There are also truck muddin' contests, ATV riding and usually hound dogs involved. I've had the awesome fortune of going to a couple, LOL. To each their own, right?! lol...
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
(Not surprisingly, your site often makes me think of this old phrase.)
:-(_______________) <--My jaw hitting the floor
And I thought the wedding I went to where the Groom's cake was a giant Skoal can was crazy...
By any chance is Anony's last name Mous?
Lizzyland, thanks for the link. The dresses on that site make this cake look tasteful.
There's a whole world of tacky out there that I didn't know existed.
Unfortunately where I live, there are many people that would think this was a grand cake for a wedding... in fact I have seen a few that aren't quite this bad but close. Including a cake that had a dead fondant deer in a pool of red bloody gel. As my grandmother used to say...the only taste some people have...is in their mouth.
Deer God
I agree the cake is pretty wrecked (the ninja deer is WAY funny!) but the concept is actually fairly common. I have seen plenty of camo dresses...even on the bride! To each his own! And I actually own a glass mug in the shape of a boot like that thanks to the Army. And yes, tractor print balloons...my kid had a John Deere birthday party and we had those exact balloons. I am sure the wedding had a lot of laughs and plenty of fun.
Hell no they haven't suffered enough, let's see the pic.
Seriously, where DID the tiny deer come from??
And I'll jump on the "I want to see the wedding party pic" bandwagon!
I Like how the fire extinguisher is so close to the cake, ya know, in case someone tries to kill it with fire!!
I like the tire!
But can't you please at least cut their heads off and show us the dresses ANYWAY? Pretty please? With..you know...wreckery on top?
Anyone notice the cake cutting/serving "utensils" ??? Looks like both handles are wrapped up with baling twine and finished off with toy tractors? REALLY? Wow ... about the ugliest thing I've ever seen ...
No accounting for some people's taste.. (or it's all in their mouths).
At least they plywood matched the cake trim and the little deer....that's something.
Please oh please oh please...post the wedding party pics!!
I think everyone needs to stop acting so horrified. It looks playful and fun to me! It actually looks like they were playfully trying to emphasize that they weren't going to do an over the top, ridiculously expensive and frou-frou- wedding. If they liked this theme good for them!
No one mentioned the daisies?
@Naomi -- LOL
@Jen, we mustn't forget Ian Malcom's quote: "Your [wreckerators] were so preoccupied with whether they could, they never stopped to think if they should."
If I were responsible for this, I wouldn't stop at camouflage -- I'd wear a ninja suit.
That deserves a bwahaha! That is awesome, and would look silly on anything other than plywood and a tire! ChristianJ and Kay Qy, you deserve a bwahaha, too! Thanks for the laughs!
Google image search for wedding camo blaze orange. Hope that worked... anyway, I have seen the camo wedding attire, with the b'maids in blaze orange... and if I have to see it so do y'all. ;)
The cake, if a Groom's Cake, might not be so bad. But the tire and the plywood.... Too much authenticity, perhaps??
I surmise that the party goers wear plaid shirts with a red and green suspenders. Is there a possum somewhere in the lodge? Does anyone at the party suck sewage? I imagine one of the guests sells antiques and another is kept very far away from the wedding gifts and probably search on his way out.
Was this Harold's Wedding?
Oh come on! Show the bridal party! Just blur the faces! Gotta see those dresses!
Finally! A diy wedding cake you can decorate with the kids from your first 3 shot gun weddings!