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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan132011

Boom, Boom, Acka Lacka Lacka Boom!

It was a night like this,
Forty million days ago.
A wreckerator piped a blob
Called it "cakey dino."


This one was spitting fire,

This guy was blue as ice!



I felt a little wired,

so I wrecked this next one twice!



I wrecked the dinosaur.

I wrecked the dinosaaaaaaur!

[Everybody, now!]

Open the door,

Get on the floor!


Everybody wreck the dinosaur!


Open the door,

Get on the floor.


Everybody wreck that dinosaur!

Boom, boom, acka lacka lacka boom!
Boom, boom, acka lacka boom boom!

One night I dreamed a dream,

Such a cute and lovely cake!


But it was not to be,

When I saw it awake:



That night while at a fancy wedding,

I looked around the room.

Behold the Wreck - you must be kidding:

That's what they got the groom??



They wrecked the dinosaur.

They wrecked the dinosaaaur!

Don't be a bore,

Get on the floor:



Everybody wreck that dinosaur!

Sorry you're sore, get on the floor!

Everybody wreck the dinosaur!

Some are pink and girly,


Some need a throat lozenge,

*cough hack cough*

Still we know that surely,

The dino gets his revenge!

BOOM, BOOM, ACKA LACKALACKA BOOM
BOOM, BOOM ACKA LACKA BOOM BOOM!

Hey Alison G., Jill B., Susanna K., Kelli T., Jeremy W., Sunny W., Debbie C., Misa M., Molly S., Marla S., & Liz S., have you ever seen the music video to this song? Wow. That's all I'm sayin'. Just...wow.

[UPDATE: Turns out the vid is only viewable for U.S. viewers. Sorry, guys!]

« Hats Off For Hats | Main | The Cake Wrecks Phenomenon »

Reader Comments (136)

Ok, as to the last cake. My two kids' birthdays are 10 days apart and they are both happy to have a party together (they're 2 and 5 so this may change next year). Last year we had a dino cake and kitty cat cupcakes (never again - those things took forever). This year it was different dino cake and a very hungry catapiller cake - they were cute as far as my cake-making abilities go. However, both kids would have LOVED the dino-eating princess dual cake. My son hates princesses with a passion and to see a dino eat one would have made his day. My daughter just loves cake so, she'd be good. Although I would need a much bigger cake...

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Cool song... but even cooler the cakes.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKikys

What makes this post even funnier is that just as I start reading it, the song starts playing on my radio! Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGemma

Why does the second cake have spaghetti in a heap next to it?

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

It just made my day that my favorite childhood song was in a cake wrecks post. Plus, that dino eating princesses? I would love that cake!!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

The video crashed my (US-based) PC. Literally. I had to log back in on the laptop.

wv: Sulfa. Will sulfa drugs treat this computer virus???

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I need a dino-princess cake. Why do I not have one?

wv: hersh, it's fun being hersh to wrecks.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

You have no idea how awesome and timely this post is. DH and his old roommate spammed the heck out of one my posts on FB last night.

DH then proceeded to end it all with the YouTube link to "Walk the Dinosaur".

This post just makes it all the more awesome. Forwarding to DH....now.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaRa

@Danger Boy, did the velociraptor win? Heh heh heh...

#2 Is that a pom-pom in the foreground? "Gimme a D! Gimme an I! Gimme an N! Gimme an O! Uh, oh..."

#3 I don't know if Frank Herbert and Steven Spielberg were contemporaries (maybe the next 50 comments will enlighten me), but this is what might have happened if they were.

#4 Big Bird ate too much spinach. Is that shredded lettuce on the right, or another pom-pom. There are so many themes today!

#5 I can see the dinosaur. Which worries me. At least it's not a true CCC (patooie!).

#6 "Heffalump Airlines hopes your flight to Super Mario Land was a happy one!"

#7 Awww.

#8 Oh. With a head of solid frosting, no less. How many weeks did it take to get the kids to sleep that night?

#12 Can't quite make out the recipient's name (isn't that rather pointless?). Maybe the last letter is an 's'. [innocent whistling...]

#13 Black candles, really? The twins' problems are only beginning, it seems. @Shanti beat me to the Cinderella reference. Poo.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Okay, call me crazy(ier), but I sort of-kind of-maybe think the first blue one is kind of cute with squinted eyes from a distance!

The one needing a throat lozenge... ewww. Just. Blah. Looks like it is spitting out teeth or rocks. The mouth is too blood red. Would NEVER eat that cake, not even a slice of his butt.

And now that song will be in my head all day!!! ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgiDcJi534Y

for those that can't follow the link in the post (for those of us in Canada)

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrsNose

Wow, who knew there were so many dinosaur / dragon / lizard / heffalump / Epcot cakes out there?

And I kinda like the last one. I'm not saying it's good or not a wreck. I'm just sayin' I like the idea.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

That was hystrical. You need to do the audio for that one!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBetsy

The "cakes" (if that's a term you can use for collapsed piles of icing) leave me speechless, but that "Walk the Dinosaur" vid is way rad! It's a candidate to become my new theme music.

My WV: blubc. So that's the name of the technique today's wreckorators used.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Check out toothpaste for dinner 3rd one down. http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/archives/2009/Jun/
Have a great day!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFirefly

those dinosaurs are scary--and not in a good way. The CCC is barely recognizable as a dino! (if it wasn't a dino post, I wouldn't realize it) and why is he eating "mud"? is he about to get stuck in a tiny tar pit?

the next one looks like a flattened elephant. With no ears and a ridge on his back. Unless he's part anteater.

What is the pink one doing with the tiny bunnies under his paws?

My favorite is the last one though. It has a great sense of humor. The black candles go with the morbidity of dino slaughter. And he's chomping on poor Snow White!

I bet this is a cake for a pair of boy/girl twins or other brother/sister combo cake. Great hybrid, mom! Princesses for her daughter, a dino for her son. Now I hope it doesn't traumatize her daughter.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

funny how calmly the other two princesses look on as the dino snacks on Snow White

wv: gatha. "Gatha your skirts and run, Ariel!" Jurassic park has come alive!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AWESOME!!

And about that video...
*sigh* I miss the days when scantily clad hot female dancers actually smiled and looked like they were having fun instead of always putting on the "come hither" face.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergeeky Heather

why does a groom need a dino cake? is he a paleontologist? or is he 8 years old?

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh crap...now I have that song stuck in my head. THANKS.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

I also like the "Happy Birthday Hayden" cake. It reminds me of a Tim Burton drawing, or an illustration from a children's book. WHAT the dinosaur is doing, that I can't decide. Is it laying down dead? If so, then they nailed it. If they wanted it upright they should have changed the orientation of the "Happy Birthday" banner.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCupPiesRule

if that blue one is a heffalump, it's still a wreck! it has back spikes and no ears! and it's squashed. or slipped on ice and splayed

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What, no audio?! Come ON, guys, that genius of a parody is just screaming to be heard! The fact that you were ballsy enough to rhyme "lozenge" with "revenge" (and have it work) demands vocals.

(And since now I have that song stuck in my head thanks to you, at the very least you owe me. ;) )

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJade

#6- Can't decide if it's a Heffalump... or a Jurrasic-ear Aardvark. YOU MAKE THE CALL!

WV: rentioc. The sound my retinas make after being exposed to some of these wrecks.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercq75

Hands up, readers, for who thinks CW needs to post audio of Jen (#1) singing this? Yup, a forest of hands out there. It's unanimo-- wait, You! Back there in the corner! Why isn't your hand up? Oh, you're new, you don't know she has a fab voice. OK, stick that hand up in the air now. up, NOW! Great, it's unanimous! Please post audio?

I don't understand how all these designs require massive blobs of icing. Given how disgusting most commercial icing tastes <shudder... and the simultaneous pitter patter of taste-buds fleeing for their lives)

Cake #1: I thought it was two snakes, and one was having serious anatomical difficulties (the eyes on their sides!).

#2 could that be a dead croc?? And weren't Elvis' shoes suede not croc?

#3 While I've seen T-rex cartoons like the torso, I've never seen a mouth-less brontosauras swallow a t-rex before!

#4 is rolling it's own eyes at how ridiculous it looks.

#5 well, at least the wreckerator did a cupcake mosaic rather than a CCC. And it's chocolate cake.

#6 points for using cake not icing for legs. Cute girly eyelashes. But if that's a dinosaur/anteater/elephant/croc mix, I think those mushrooms in the back are magical.

#8 the sad thing is that I can recognize which dinosaur that's supposed to be. Maybe the baker hated the bride??? And-- just how old is the groom?!

#9 well, at least it's technically not a CCC. And is recognizable as a critter of some kind...

#10 is actually well done, for an utterly pathetic design, assuming that the photo before #7 is what the wreckerators are supposed to imitate. Although-- I can't tell if she's holding bouquets in her feet, or those are rabbits about to be squashed.

#11 well, Hayden's cake probably went over rather well, if he's a boy in late childhood. If he's a littley, that was one scary t-rex.

#12 some parents INTENTIONALLY had their pre-school son's t-rex eat one of their barely-school-age daughter's princesses? That would be a hoot if they were in their twenties and the shared birthday festivities had become a family joke, but at age 4 and 6 that's just cruel. I hope they'll pay for their daughter's therapy bills!

WV serizess. As in, are these wreckerators serizess?!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Oh my head! Some of those are beyond words. But I am totally loving that last one, the dino eating Snow White! That is freakin' hilarious! I actually, for the first time, spit out some of my food laughing so hard! I really should learn not to read this blog during lunch!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

I forgot all about that song! I can't believe we used to think that song was COOL. (In my defense, I was a child at the time!) I guffawed a little too loudly, and got the "what's wrong with mom" look from my kids. I get that a lot when I visit this site. :)

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca U.

I think the third dinosaur is thinking, "I have big butt... and tiny arms."

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPH in VA

That song totally had some cowbell power. Check out THE Cowbell goddess herself. Masked in the coolest sunglasses ever...2 min.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the road-kill blue Alf.
Inspired post, you had me singing along.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Quirky Confectioner

I like the last one! I'm not sure who the t-rex is eating, but I hope the princess is next.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

The third photo reminds me of the Slurm Queen from Futurama.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNIKOL

So they didn't even know how to do a CCC correctly? They didn't join the cupcakes on that poor red one with the usual mass of slathered frosting to make the dinosaur one solid object...

Oh, and I do have boy/girl twins. This year for their 6th birthday, I made them each their own half a cake--but used two separate round pans, so the pirates (in his case) wouldn't be tempted to attack the princesses on hers. And no way would I have been able to get away with black candles for their birthday!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So our local NPR station does a show called "The Swing Years and Beyond" every Saturday night, with music from the first half of the 20th century (mostly 20s, 30s, & 40s). Some of those songs are about such light, silly, fluffy topics, it's hard to take them seriously--we just say "well, they don't write them like that anymore!" Well, I guess they still do...!

Thanks for the mental visit back to my college days! Well done!

WV: berph--what you say when you see these wrecks

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for getting that song stuck in my head.

No, really.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoses

for the 12th(?) cake...is that a cockroach in the dinosaurs mouth?

The groom's cake is ... scary.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfurpurrson

Great, now that song (which I haven't heard in about eleventy years) is stuck in my head.

Those wrecks are DINO-MITE!

wv = knoti: they can knoti be serious about those dino cakes.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBengalBasset

Thank you, oh thank you, for the trip down memory lane with that song reference. Ahhh . . . those were the days. Great wrecks too!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That video...holy crap. Awesome.

My favorite is the dinosaurs getting the Disney Pricesses :)

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Claire

I think I've only actually heard that song one time in my entire life, around 1990 or so when I was in middle school. AND IT HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE. Thanks for giving me that extra push I needed to finally seek help for my problem.

My mom went to high school with Don Was who sings that song :)

Fun post!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershel

Anyone else think #6 looks like an Alf-a-saurus? That looks like an Alf snout to me!

As Mr. T would say, "I pity the fool who would serve these cakes!"

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

I wasn't going to comment except my word verification is 'andsued'...I ordered a dinosaur cake, got this monstrosity andsued!

That red one isn't a dinosaur, it's a battalion of mutant tomatoes!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

O. M. G. This. Post. Was. Awwwwesooommme (sing-song voice)

That song plays during the credits for Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs. - Ellen, your wv sounds just like Sid the Sloth LOL!

I didn't dance, just cracked up at the parody and the cakes! Way too funny!

I IMMEDIATELY thought of the Cinderella/T-Rex cake (it's one of my favs)! "I told my managers it would never happen again, but wait'll they see where I put Snow White" *snort* I guess we know where now!

wv: forule (for-ule): Beware of this song, forule have an earworm all week!
or
(fo-rule): Between the princesses and the dino cake, the T-Rex forules!!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I don't know that song, but your post did remind me of the dinasaur song in Mrs. Doubtfire:
"...Yo yo yo, see me,
I'm living below the soil,
I'll be back but I'm comin' as oil!"

Andrea

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, NOT THAT FUNNY, I have to pick up a cake with a dinosaur on it tomorrow for my son's 5th birthday party. I don't expect too much, it's just from Costco, cause I need a big cake that will feed lots of people and...

Oh God. What have I done?

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMazarin

The conversation in my house:
7 yr old: That looks good. Especially with the fish eggs.
me: I think the sprinkles replaced the fish eggs.
7 yr old: That's too bad, because sugariness tastes good with nothingness, and the fish eggs don't really taste like anything and they pop in your mouth.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergrumblekitty

At first I thought that 6th cake was suppose to be an elephant, but then the "spikes" down it's back made me question myself. I suppose that's sort of the hallmark of a "cake wreck" not really knowing what they heck you're looking at!

I've been a long time reader and follow you on Facebook. I always get a chuckle out of it. I recently lived in fear that I would wind up on cake wrecks after trying to make a daisy shaped cake for my daughter's birthday! But, then I remembered I'm not a professional baker so I'm off the hook!

the last one is awesome!

wv: miculati

as in, miculati cakewreckius, the scientific name of the dinosaurs we just saw.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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