Friday
Jul022010
May the 4th Be With You...
July 2, 2010 ...or at least with this cake:
"Sad of September" sends his regards.
Ask not what your country can do for you... [eyebrow waggle]
Not ok, man. Not ok.Of course, some bakers don't need words to show their true colors:
Ah, the good ol' red, blue, white, and black.No, wait. I can't do it. I can't just move on to the next cake. I tried - I really did - but I just can't. I'm afraid this calls for a Jen Rant. Sorry.
Here goes.
[Ahem.]
Seriously, Wreckerator? SERIOUSLY? This is what you're calling an "American flag," to be sold here IN America, and for America's birthday, no less? I mean, really? Red and BLUE stripes? Black stars? REALLY? Have you no shame? No patriotic pride? No...
Uh...wait...
Um. What is that?
Ok. Never mind. This is worse.Now, what do you say we go out with a bang?
Theeeere it is.Amber E., Carol S., Sarah C., Christina P., Robert I., Hillary H., & Jennifer, I don't know about you, but my confidence in these wreckerators seems to be flagging.
Reader Comments (109)
I LOVE the BANG!
Years ago (think the late 60's - early 70's) our family (read my mother) thought it was fun to use sparklers instead of candles on cakes. And it was. Sort of.
Until . . .
You started to eat the cake and got crunchy bits in the frosting from where the sparkler stuff embedded itself into the frosting.
We did it for a dear friend and burned holes in her Irish lace tablecloth. Fortunately, she laughed.
WV: zygondef - zygondef from the firework bangs!
...last one iced by a frustrated male baker?
Man! at least Canada was able to spell their country's NAME! Today, I am embarrassed to be an Amerikan.
Congratulations on the Time's "Best Blogs of 2010"!!
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1999770_1999761_1999735,00.html
My daughter goes to school with a girl named "Amerika" (same spelling). Maybe that was her birthday cake...? I'm trying to be an optimist here, I really am.
Quite a lot of bang for the buk.
That last 'cake' -- stick a candle in it. It's done.
personally i'd like to see the original concept behind the patriotic phallus... cause i doubt even these wreckarators came up with that one on their own...
WV--hormimmi
The patriotic phallus could possibly have been for someone without of control hormimmi... just a thought?
Clearly the last cake is a tribute to the recent blooming of the Corpse Flower in Berkeley, CA [ http://cbs5.com/local/corpse.flower.blooms.2.1784119.html ]
That "bang" cupcake?
Overcompensation.
WV:eyses These wrecks hurt my eyses.
What makes the last one worse is the fact that the one behind it (the rose and the butterfly) is absolutely gorgeous...how could someone make something so beautiful one moment and something so horrible the next?
I would, perhaps like to believe that the Amerika birthday cake is for a beautiful young woman, HOWEVER, if that is the case, why would it be out in the open for a cake wreck-porter to snap its photo and submit to Jen, it should be reserved for whomever ordered it behind the counter, ready to go for the orderee... And I cannot actually believe that the orederee would snap the pic and submit it, if it were actually what they ordered...
As for the comments of the phallic attempt at a firework, well... All I can say is each comment seriously needs the option of a 'like' button just like on facebook, there were far too many that had me nodding in agreement, in between hiccups of giggles
Maybe the bakers were Canadian. If you don't know that Canada Day exists, how are they supposed to know what your flag looks like? ;)
You know, I actually had to look up the American flag after seeing that first flag cake. AFTER SEEING THIS CAKE I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHAT THE AMERICAN FLAG LOOKED LIKE.
c'mon people. those aren't black STARS.
those are CAT CRUNCHIES!!
and, really. about that last cake...
before we all make judgments, just remember:
PORN STARS can be PATRIOTIC TOO!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the "Happy Birthday Amerika" one is for a kid named Amerika...
The flags were enough to make me sputter but the Bang! cupcake ... OH... MY... GOD. So much frosting. I can't see, gone blind. And diabetic.
I think the Happy Birthday one was really for a little girl named Amerika. No chance could that REALLY be a fourth of July cake. Right?
I read the second one as 'stare and strips' :o)
CCCs - you should really admire the fact that they always, but always, come up with ideas that continue to make you go ptooie....i mean, they do work hard to keep up the standards expected of them!
I don't know if the happy birthday one is a true wreck. I had a kid in one of my classes once named Amerika. She was born on July 4th and her mom thought it was cute. No lie.
I'm assuming the "Amerika" cake is a legit birthday cake for a girl named Amerika. That aside, these were horrible! haha.
Holy Cupcakes, those are so sad. LOL!
How would one go about eating that cupcake with the huge penis shape and the bang on it? Oh my brain went somewhere it shouldn't and now I have to go hunt it down and clean it up from the gutter lol. I would hope that the wreckerator who can't spell America has run out of town.. that's just horrible.
The second to last is actually the American flag as interpreted by Van Gogh.
I don't think #5 is nearly as bad as #4.
It is at least made of separate CCs, rather than being frosted as a single CCC.
I'm sure there are six-year-olds who might get the stripes wrong, starting with white instead of red. They'd get the stars wrong too, and getting them right would actually be a challenge given the tools used.
The curve is obviously supposed to suggest it's waving in the wind.
Ok, that last one was so wrong on sooo many different levels...
Um... so I recently got your book. And um... aw what am I saying? It ws hilarious! So yeah. Just saying that you're awesome.
Oh God...that last one hurts in ways I can't describe T_T
Reading "Stars and Strips" makes me wonder if some techie out there is trying to figure out how to make a piping bag with a spell checker! Ad campaign: Don't let your next project be starred on "Cake Wrecks" - use Typo-Free Piping Bags!
Happy 4th...of July, everyone!
looks yummy and yeah happy bday america..:0
happy 4th of july..i want those cake they're pretty much awesome
Dang. Stars and Strips Forever. THAT'LL get the party started!!
Dear CakeWrecks,
I've been following the site for a few months now, and I just wanted to thank you. Whenever I have a bad day at work (which is usually pretty freakin' frequently), I come to this site and giggle until I can't breathe. It's probably one of the few things keeping me sane.
Happy 4th, everyone!
Alien Schlong.
We definitely have a Wreckerator that was abducted recently trying to recover from the experience in the only way they know how, through icing and cupcakes.
WV: kiests
The wreckerator shouldn't kiests and tell.
Wow. Well the Canada Day cakes made me a bit embarrassed to be Canadian...but at least a maple leaf is actually difficult to draw! How do you mess up an American flag? For shame!
What the... THAT's a flag? Wow. Bad skills.
I would like to add one other thing to your rant on the American flag cake:
"A WHITE canton*? It's supposed to be BLUE, damn it!"
*Canton: On the American flag, it's the field on which the stars are placed.
OMG! When I saw the second cake I thought it said:
STARE AND STRIP FEVER
....inappropriate?! :)
#4 was so bad it made me forget what an American flag looked like.
Seriously.
this is a horrible post. haha, good on your part, bad on the cake decorators parts. HORRIBLE.
Some of these things are a waste of ingredients.
As for the last one... [blink] What sort of bakery is that, anyway? The Fireman Cake looks downright innocent next to this!
Were the blue squiggles added as an afterthought? If so, they didn't help matters much. Who thought a bakery would be a place where parents would have to answer awkward questions?!
LOL these were terrible! Happy 4th of July everyone (and 4 year anniversary to us!)
Hee hee ha ha hoo hoo ha ha hoo HOO HA HA HA HA OH my! Thanks for the good laugh today.
These cake are some of the best, uh, worst ever. I could not believe the cake with black stripes. Looks like a 2-year-old made it.
Those "stars" look suspiciously like animal kibble...
Whenever I go to my local grocery store, I always cruise through the bakery looking for wrecks. I found one...small cake with a flag. Blue background, white stars *check*, but then red, white, and blue stripe! It was all I could do to keep from grabbing it and showing it to the baker to ask which country's flag was flying on it. I was wearing a flag on my T-shirt at the time.
Sharon's Edible Art
Geez... nice try but America weeps at these sad tributes lol
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That CCC isn't an American flag. It's Van Gogh's famous painting "Flaggy Night."
The US flag is one of the most recognizable flags in the world. How could they get it SOOOOOOO wrong?!? I'm a Canadian, so no patriotic bias here :)
LOVE the phallic "boom" cupcake!!! And the, um, "mounds" with stripper-cherries behind it are "icing" on that cake! The comment about how do you eat it nearly killed me :)
I was sold on "Amerika" being a birthday cake until B-Jo's argument-- that's a good point, if it were an ordered cake, it wouldn't have been sent in. Which has me rather worried: isn't spelling America with a K something racist groups do???