Thursday
Jul012010
Instant Pride
July 1, 2010 [announcer voice] Uh-oh! Does this ever happen to you?
Significant other: "Honey, don't forget to grab the Independence Day cake for the party tonight!"
You: "Independy whatnow?"
Well, don't you worry. You'll never overlook another patriotic holiday again! Introducing a revolutionary new technology in dessert Americana:
Plastic Flag!™
Just throw Plastic Flag™ on any pre-existing cake for an instant patriotic upgrade!
Bachelor party tonight? Not anymore! Just look at the difference Plastic Flag™ makes:
Samuel Adams says, "Plastic Flag™ is always a good decision."
Or get your buns in gear by patrioticsizing that cheeseburger cake!
Well done!Has your creativity gone fishin'? No problem!
Your guests will fall for Plastic Flag™ hook, line, and sinker.
Plus, order now and we'll throw in a free special gift sure to delight kids of all ages:
Patriotic Pecans™!
That's right: Order within the next ten minutes and you'll receive our patented Patriotic Pecans™ cake toppers, absolutely free! (Just pay our exorbitantly priced shipping and handling fees.)
Throw a few dozen Patriotic Pecans ™ to one side of Plastic Flag™ for a super-blast of extra pecan pride! Your guests will go nuts when they see the detail you've put into this delicious national treasure.
Order now!
Warning, April Z., Lisa P., Rose B., Jenn P., and Joan L.: Plastic Flag™ may be considered a choking hazard and should not be placed on food. Plastic Flag™ may contain traces of nuts, soy, or botulinal neurotoxins. "Patrioticsizing" is not a real word and should not be used as such. Plastic Flag™ hates puppies. Do not taunt Plastic Flag™.
Reader Comments (79)
Yay happy fun ball! I wish NBC would let sketches go onto youtube. No one should be deprived of happy fun ball.
You know, those pecans were applied by someone from the right...
*Off to order my Plastic Flag*
Patrioticsizing, love it!
YES! Do not taunt plastic flag (tm)!
Yayayayayay!
Plastic flotsum strikes again. My question is about the pecans.
Is this like a pizza -- half the cake has pecans and half doesn't? "I'll take a piece without pecans because I'm allergic to tree nuts."
Were they making pecan pies in front of a large fan and they blew onto the cake?
Is this a representation of the wind blowing the flag AND the nuts?
Did they run out of red, white and blue sprinkles?
Did a bag of pecans on the shelf above the cake fall over?
Please, someone, tell me.
This was laugh out loud comedy. Oh yeah!
-AJ
Picture #4: The flag flying over Ft. McHenry survived the rockets’ red glare and the bombs bursting in air, but when the lobsterbacks threw an entire shipload of pecans at the star-spangled banner, it was all over.
^..^
OMG! Too funny! I FLOVE the small print at the end! AWESOME!
Wooohooo! My first posted CakeWreck! I can now proudly bear the title of Wreckporter. Hmmm... where to put that on my CV.
I think that pecan cake is really a BP oil spill cake turned on it's side. After all, what says America better than a good ole fashioned oil spill this 4th of July.
LOL...great post! Happy 4th!
Good grief Jen, how do you manage to be so dang funny so early in the morning? A little "treat" in your morning coffee?
Awesome! A tribute to Happy Fun Ball!! You made my morning!
Aren't you a bit early for Independance Day? I mean, today is CANADA DAY; aren't there any red and white maple leafed wrecks out there?
But yes, what would bakers do with their leftover cheeseburger cakes without plastic floatsam to transform them!
Love the disclaimers! Absolutely hysterical post this morning. Thanks for the laugh!
Pecans only on one side of the cake? These people are so indecisive!
WV: unaddiet. No pecans for me, I'm unaddiet.
"Throw a few dozen Patriotic Pecans ™ to one side of Plastic Flag™ for a super-blast of extra pecan pride! Your guests will go nuts when they see the detail you've put into this delicious national treasure."
Your commentary is hysterical! Thanks for the laughs! cc
Until I read that they were pecans, I thought that they were coffee beans. It was a very confusing five seconds, let me tell ya.
Oh my! This was my favorite post in a while. So many good lines. Hilarious.
Patriotic Pecans. Bwah haha!
And gotta love any reference to Happy Fun Ball.
Thank you - I needed a good laugh today.
AmyRaz
Awww, I was gonna compliment you on your use of "patriocizing," but now I see it's not a real word. Too bad, I'd love to see it used in the news to describe political gambits! "The candidate won the debate hands-down by patriocizing every issue."
Hey! It's Canada Day... no Canadian wrecks? That leaf on our flag really seems to throw wreckerators for a loop.
:)
Ah well... I can always cross my fingers for next year ;)
Love the announcer vibe - you always write the funniest posts! Love it!
I love your geek references, but I'm uber excited by the Happy Fun Ball reference!!
@Anonymous - lookee lookee! http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/schillervision-hidden-camera/2656/
Yay, Happy Fun Ball!!
Carmiehead
PS "IndependyWhatnow?" almost made me choke on my drink. XD
Hmmmm, wish there were some Canadian wrecks for Canada Day today. But we always enjoy a good US wreck too:)
Ok, the patriotic pecans look like cockroaches crawling on the cake. Great for the diet, bad for the appetite.
1) Happy Canada Day and it's all the better for seeing US flag silliness.
2) I just saw this and thought of you:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Steampunk-USB-Flash-Drive/
3) I heart you for the Happy Fun Ball joke. (PS I almost said Happy Fun Ball gag and then realized that that would be very, very, very different.) I bet you'd like one of the LJ icons I made ages ago: http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/33975999/4794476
you know, aside from the pecan disaster, i can see what decorators were thinking making those cakes... they're all american pastimes! drinking beer, fishing, eating a hamburger - all reasonable 4th of july activities. doesn't excuse the plastic flag though :P
Your blog is absolutely hilarious!!!! You make the greatest stories to go with these cakes!!! LOVE EM!
Oh Canada, our home and native land...
Do not taunt the plastic flag (tm) doing so could result in explosion or jail time...
Funny as always, happy Independence Day!
Knew there was a reason I came back again to make sure that I was just up too early to see today's post.
Now there are tears ... oh, the pecans and plastic flag of it all! Darn you, patrioticsizing Jen.
I'm going to include Cakewrecks on my 'what am I thankful for' during joys and concerns on Sunday morning. Can't help it -- it's so good for my soul to laugh so hard.
~~Di
As an English scholar for the last 7+ years, working toward a terminal degree ('cause only one of us is getting out alive), I have to say the following:
A-hem.
After careful consideration (over the last few seconds) I believe it is safe to say that cakewrecks has met all the criterion for new word creation and I thereby propose that we grant real-word status to the term patrioticizing.
That is all.
ahhhaaaahaaaahaaaaa!!!!
Ummm yea...this is pitiful lol
Those pecans look like they're swarming the flag.
Aww...bummer. I was hoping to see some Canadian wrecks for Canada Day and it's all USA wrecks. :(
Good god, major lol's ahead. Although, considering that Samuel Adam was a brewer, on the beer cake it's okay
Maybe the flag on the burger cake was to help you identify it as a burger. I mean, many places do call it the "all american" hamburger, right? Only thing I could come up with.
wrecky or not (wait, I say that like I'm not sure....it is :)) if I saw that first one I would buy it and it would make me giggle to no end
Seriously love the SNL reference. So much so that I googled the skit, found it on the NBC website, and had to watch it immediately.
you couldn't have found any Canada Day cakes for July 1st. sigh
That was hilarious!
American flags on Canada day? aw...
ZOMG! Epic entry! That was awesome.
WV: muncepl- You should recognize muncepl workers with a Platic Flag(tm) cake!
Shame on you Jen for not knowing today was Canada day! Why don't you have every single holiday in every single country memorized so you can choreograph your blog more appropriately?
Shame, shame, shame!
Epcot!
And I'm proud to be an American
For at least I know I'm free
Free to patriotcize my cake
With pecans from a tree
And I proudly stand up
Next to you and defend that plastic flag today
Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
Cake Wrecks, USA!
=3
I can't stop reading this as the SNL Skit with Alec Baldwin "Put your family pictcha in a brandy snifta"
Make ya cake patriotic with a Plastic Flag{tm}
Wow - I just wet my Patriotic Pants™.
Number1, Jen has taught you well. That had me in stitches. :D
That was Totally SWEET!!! Well done Jen!! I totally heard the announcer voice the entire way through.... and now it's stuck in my head. Especially the supper-fast disclaimer at the end.
Whoa! I totally gave kudos to Jen for that post and then I realized it was Number 1.
SO sorry, Number 1. I am not worthy to be in the presence of your blog-writing glory! Well done, indeed!