Flip Flops (Hey, Look, a Built-In Pun!)
June 17, 2010 I once read one of those "You know you're a Floridian when..." lists, and number five was "...you wear flip-flops to a wedding."
Now, as a long-time Florida resident, I feel I should defend my fellow Sunshine Staters by informing the rest of you that they make some *very* dressy flip-flops. Have you seen the ones with the little rhinestones on the straps? [sing-song voice] Daaar-ling! And totally black-tie appropriate, I might add.
Anyway, during the summer months it quickly becomes obvious which Wreckerators have not only never worn flip-flops, but have probably never even seen a pair, either.
If these look right to you, get thee to a podiatrist! Stat!
What the...?
Good grief, that almost makes the cupcake cake [patooie!] version look decent:
Wait.
No...no, it doesn't. Never mind.
Aha! Well there's your problem: these aren't flip-flops, they're "flipp flopps."Must be a Canadian thing.*
It gets worse when Wreckerators introduce a 3D element:
I honestly have no idea what that is jammed into the cake: Ribbon? Plastic? A moldy fruit roll-up? Bottom line: if you have to ask, don't eat it.Here's one using either a piece of electrical wiring or a radioactive Twizzler:
But the airbrushing is what really sells it.
*headdesk*Shana M., Kelly M., Hannah H., Xiaomi Q, Beth C., D'Anna, & Gins V., thanks for taking a step in the wreck direction.
*Yes, actually, I do think that's funny. (Love ya, Canada!)
Note from john - Sorry everybody; I didn't get to comments for fifteen minutes and it appears we have a "bacon" EPCOT. Completely my fault. Sorry and wreck on!
UPDATE: Once again, Google Adsense wins the day! Check out the screen shot Tara G. sent in:
"Flip-Flops in BRIDESMAIDS Colors"Bwahahahahaa!!
Reader Comments (164)
It's CAKEON! (That's what it's called when you combine bacon and cake, folks.)
Wreck #3 looks like they used maxi pads for models.
yup...totally bacon.
As awesome as the bacon theory is, especially with the new obsession with bacon desserts, it is definitely fruit-by-the-foot.
If you ever get bored of bacon cake, there is always:
http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.php
They have bacon on maple bars and some sprinkles too!
Plus its had to pass up donuts with mustaches!
Paja
I thought that was bacon, too! YUM-O! as that comedian once said, bacon makes everything better. (yeah, I know. cake shoud be an exemption *gag*) Plastic flotsam between the toes. comfy.
I suspect that last one may be a CCC too (unless the wreckerator sneezed (twice) while trying to cut the back shape). that ribbons is sad--out of scale, clashing color, and belonging on a a paper wrapped gift. not in icing. blech.
That pink airbrushed one--are we sure that's not the rare Pillow Snail, complete with antennae? either that or it's twin blue rainbows in the Land of Happy.
#4--those don't look like secure straps. Those are waves in individual foot pedicure baths full of blue water. definitely. the daisies are the spa's "nice touch."
#2 and #3 are so nice and thick--they must be for extra support. Unless #2 is a beached raft. with sparkles.
*sigh* #1--pink pickles? mating kidneys? female conjoined twins of some strange species? (antennae with flowers). I'm at a loss.
If you zoom in on the "bacon" image it's quite plain that it isn't bacon, it's Fruit-by-the-Foot candy. It's not a bacon Epcot, John--you didn't screw up, people are just too presumptuous to zoom in! Definitely fruit-by-the-foot, not bacon.
I am also noticing that not a single one of these cakes has soles added to the flip flops. I mean, why not? I guess that tobacco-scented cake wasn't so wrecky, now that I think of it. It did have soles... made of fondant, even. ;)
hey, Marcy W. Were there crunchies in that cake? if someone at the party were gluten intolerant, they may have put candy in the cake instead of crunchies. HOWEVER, gummy bears and ice cream do not mix, IMHO. better off with reeses peanut butter cups!
wv: perti. gee, those pink cakes are awfully perti.
I think Anonymous at 9:48 deserves a special award for being the first to NOT use the word "bacon!"
The top ones are obviously kidney beans -- although I have no idea what culture decorates kidney beans with flowers. And the ones with the thumb in the pic appear to be decorated with bacon. Hmmmm.... baconcake. I like the sound of the word, but not the idea of the taste.
I thought it looked like old bacon the mystery strap cake too!
oh my. that second to last one looks like twin beds with roll bars.
when my best friend got married, she and we bridesmaids all wore flip flops.
Wouldn't it be fun to actually have flip-flops like these, shuffling about with giant wide soles...no? Just me then?
(I did zoom in and it still looks like yesterday's rashers...)
What slays me is the placement of the flip flop strap! Seriously, do all Floridians have big toes that are half the size of the rest of their foot? Maybe it is an environment adaption caused from living in some place that's always warm. Hmm…always warm... That toe *might* be worth the price of admission…
Anna in Ohio
I feel so special. I've been reading CW long enough to know what you meant when you wrote "bacon" EPCOT! And I must be the ONLY one who didn't think bacon...I thought "very poor strap color choice in gel icing(?)" but then I have been considering that I need to bump up the strength of my reading glasses.
As a native born Floridian (I pre-date WWD), I *HATE* flip-flops, and do not consider them necessary to being a Floridian. Tevas, baby!
These cakes only confirm my hatred of that particular pseudo-footwear item. They look like they taste of sweaty feet. Bleach!
However, ghostly pale skin and carrying a sweater to the office in July are true signs. Also, someone who carries oven mitts to the car ...
It's not bacon. It's berry tie-dye fruit by the foot. If you zoom in you can see the little squiggly lines where you rip it apart. Trust me; they're a staple in my diet. :)
Mallory
I'm going to disagree with the crowd and hazard a guess that the flip flop straps are made of Fruit by the Foot, not bacon. Aside from the fact that it's just what it looks like to me, it would also taste better with cake.
I assumed the Bacon Roll-Up was just several colours of frosting (combined into brown) squeezed from a flat tip.
Flip-flops are #1 on my "can't believe people wear those in public" list. Sandals usually don't sound as silly.
WV: "plestorm" Sort of like a plethora, but much, much larger!
Morgi
Wow, I think the CCC really is the best of the bunch. How sad.
I just can't get behind the bacon theory. I *love* bacon. I *adore* bacon. This doesn't look like bacon to me. I mean, straight edges, not a bit of fat on it? *IF* it was bacon, it would have to be those crazy pressed pieces for the microwave that are too perfect. Which is *not* bacon. I tend to agree with the 'fruit by the foot' proponents, and am going to say it could still be ribbon. Ugly ribbon..but ribbon.
I'm so glad I didn't get a chance to check in on Cake Wrecks until a little later today, because "Bacon Epcot" is pretty epic, as was reading all the bacon comments. There are worse Epcots you could have!
Somebody, quick, call Jim Gaffigan!
I don't dare "zoom in" on these things anymore. They are scary enough in normal size.
And fruit plastic ism supposedly better than bacon?? Uh huh. I will just eat the real plastic flotsam, thanks.
Bacon, bacon, bacon! (Okay, I have bacon on the brain...we're having a Chocobaconlooza party on Saturday and I'm mulling over the various creative ways of integrating bacon and chocolate.) But I'd say those straps look a bit more like the flat relatives of a Slim-Jim than they do like bacon...bacon should NEVER be that color.
Of course, it's my firm belief that edible objects should never be made in the form of body parts prone to grow fungi, either, so I might be WAAAY off the mark here.
Ok...so the one in the plastic box...I totally thought that was strips of BACON at first!! LOL
Mmm Bacon Epcot cake.
I wonder if it would be wrecorated in the shape of a flip flop?
but WHY??????
why try to make a flip flop cake at all - especially when you have less artistic talent than a a lentil?
LOVE the Hamlet reference! What I don't get is that flip flops aren't that difficult of a shape to make. I mean, really, this is pathetic.
I did not think bacon as so many did, however after reading the first 20 or so comments, I have the voice of the dog in the Beggin' Strips (as Jodi mentioned, the straps actually look more Beggin' Strips than bacon) commercial in my head saying: "Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, BACON!"
Thanks, folks.
The first one looks like pink pickles to me. Why a pink pickle cake? Don't ask.
The bacon consensus made me laugh like a loon because I took one look at that and said, "BACON???" and then came in here and saw all the comments.
Hey! Love your blog! My favorite will be the sunday post (duh!)
By the way, why do everything wacko is categorized as 'canadian' in the us? Just for your info, the USA have the weirdest things I ever saw in the world! And I keep being amazed after living for 5 years in your country!
It's posts like these that reiterate to me that whoever invented CCC's (pwah!) should be dragged out somewhere public and pelted with their own creation.
I know it's easier than cutting a cake and everyone gets the same amount but GAHHH the wreckiness that ensues! What have you wrought, CCC inventor?? Did you THINK about what would happen?? 0_o I suppose not!
@Hiding in plain sight: most flip flops DON'T have souls, er, soles. they're cheap foam or plastic and not very thick. uniform "construction," soulless, er, sole-less entities taht they are
wv: bitaptr. a rare bisexual dinosaur. (did i really just say that? *blush*)
@ladyrazorsharp: thanks for the image of a CCC baker being pelted with cupcakes! that just made my day! *pictures the white clad baker dodging colorful icing bombs that stain his jacket like paintgun pellets*
Bacon, is the fairy-dust of the food world!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaK9bjLy3v4
Nah, that's not bacon. It's Beggin' Strips. It's a pair of shoes with doggie treats on them--clearly, it's a cake for a puppy's first birthday party.
I am pretty sure that is fruit by the foot and not bacon.
Could be those "Beggin' Strips"...
Just sayin'...
Which ups the grody factor a bit...
Thanks for making me LOL. Literally.
Happy Thursday, y'all ! ;)
"I honestly have no idea what that is jammed into the cake"
I'm pretty sure it's bacon.
There's definite floppiness to these cakes.
Cake #5 -- straps are made from BACON!!!!!
*chuckles* Bacon Epcot... John, you just made my day. :)
Why would somebody want to eat shoes
I wonder how bacon and frosting tastes...probably pretty good...like...pretzels and chocolate only...reeeeeally greasy.
I agree...bacon.
Also, I mentioned you in my blog today. My daughter loves ya'll.
My 11 yr old was looking over my shoulder and said the Canadian Flipp Flopps looked like maxie pads w/ flowers. Ha.
Shame on all the party poopers who think that #5 is fruit by the foot and not gloriously tasty bacon!!!
BACONBACONBACONBACONBACON!!!!!
Ribbon? Plastic? A moldy fruit roll-up? I say BACON.
I think the 5th one is supposed to be that ball from Epcot...
Bacon epcot! Brilliant!! I love this site!
Also, the CCC flip flops aren't so bad if you imagine someone stomping on cupcakes while wearing flip flops.