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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May262010

Something Here Doesn't Add Up

We all know Wreckerators have trouble with the English and the spelling and whatnot.

(I don't know why they have trouble with the English, but they do.)

Well, turns out they aren't so great with numbers, either.

See? I tried to tell you cupcake cakes (patooie!) are all backwards.

"You're celebrating your 75th birthday? Meh, here's a quarter. Call someone who cares fractionally more than me."

(Oooh, math puns are FUN!!)

There's an unwritten rule in Wreckerating: every number ends in "th." Yes, every number.




The irony here is that's the "fixed" version.

Oh, and speaking of irony...

The kid on the right totally knows. He's just being polite.

Sarah J., Annette H., Dao, Janie, Jessica B., & Mike V., you're all number 1th to me.

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Reader Comments (120)

Maybe "EO" are someone's initials? Can we hope for that?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Almost every time I see a "2th" or a "21th" I think of someone with a lisp.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Happy Birthday, EO!
And many moreth to them all.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

I LOVE the expression on the one kid's face in the vintage wreck!

And I love the many, many ways wreckerators manage to find to mess up even the simplest things.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

wow...Never seen that coming. -Wreckiness in numbers. Personally I like eleventy myself. :)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Suddenly, it's a good day.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

The "th" wrecks are contagious! The sign at our high school has May 31th listed on it right now. DH drove back around the block last night to make sure it actually said what he thought it did. If a school can't get it right, how can we expect bakeries to do so?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKJ

Pick a Number. Any Number. Threeve? Eleventeen?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlack Tee and Jeans

Pick a number. Any number. Threeve? Eleventeen?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlack Tee and Jeans

Say it out loud and I dare you not to laugh...Twenniefirth. Sixtyfirth. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAyre

I know if I were turning 75 I'd LOVE to pretend it was 25.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Does the "2th" have a hammer and sickle made out of a tiara and wand? How did that conversation go?

Mom: What kind of birthday party do you want?
Kid: Soviet Princess.
Mom: Ummm.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

Happy tooth day!

(my anti-spambot verification word is plesse...gotta love misspelled words on the cakewrecks blog!)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ryan,

So funny. I don't know why but I automatically read "Soviet Princess" in the Moose and Squirrel voice.

*snicker*

Dosvedanya,

john

this has probably been sad before, but it's always so extra-sad when a really and truly well done cake is ruined by something like "21th". That Hello Kitty cake is super cute!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's Captain EO! Must be an Epcot cake!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJigsawdiva

I was proofing the program for the graduation ceremony at the school where I work. On the front page it said "133th Annual Commencement Ceremony"

It was really the 113th.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKati M

Give the 75th birthday cake a break! We all know that 5 out of 3 people have a problem with fractions anyway.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaMattafan

Wow, so funny! That Hello Kitty cake is adorable though, aside form the craziness. It's # 1th

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I was honestly trying to figure out why they had a hammer & sickle logo on a child's birthday cake until I realized it's a tiara & magic wand.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThatDeborahGirl

The 61th cake was obviously for Elmer Fudd's dad.

"Happy Thickthty-firtht birthday, father!"

And the princess cake... maybe Elizabeth is the Tooth Fairy!

"Happy Tooth Birthday, Elizabeth"

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKen

@Jigsawdiva
I totally thought the same thing! Epcot FTW!

Is anyone mildly concerned about the amount of food dye cake eaters are consuming? The glow-in-the-dark blue on the EO cake and the red roses on the 75th birthday cake should qualify for Brownfields Reclamation funds from the EPA.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Thanks to you and your blog, I know have coffee all over my monitor, LOL!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

That white sperm balloon on the backwards 3 makes it look like a Vermicious Knid from "Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator". Only a Vermicious Knid has better spelling.

---Blue Jean

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the 2th one was trying to celebrate a first tooth? Or...maybe not.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

HAH! You never know, maybe the 2th cake is for a girl who likes pretending to be a pretty 2th(two-th) fairy!

Too bad my next birthday is the 26th, so the "th" actually works. And now that I really try to think of someone to make a "th" cake for... every one has "th" birthdays this year. Dang!

WV: diqua. I'd like to see THAT word on a wrecky cake! Maybe someone will order a diqua...d cake?

I'm in the mood to give benefit of the doubt:

#1th: It was supposed to be an 80 and they ran out of cupcakes. since CCCs are usually mortared to the cakeboard with icing, they could not move things around. Look at all the happy balloons! It looks like it's for a kid, not a grown man. And well, as people get into their older years, there's that "regression to childhood" thing. You know, where you really celebrate every year you make it to and you sometimes wet your pants.

2th: is a math problem. He's really 100. they just didn't have the right candle numbers. so it's 75 + 1/4 century (25) = 100. Definitely.

(either that or the 3 on 3/4 is REALLY sloppy)

btw, doesn't this count as an insult cake?

3st: I love how the number is on the SIDE of the cake. That way Dad doesn't have to be self-conscious about his age.

(Convenient that it didn't fit on the cake. He must be having a really small party. Or have cheap kids.)

4rd: The Hello Kitty is for a 12 year old. The wreckerator is dyslexic with numbers. Hello Kitty? for a 21 year old? seems a little too juvenile (sorry HK fans. we're doing benefit of the doubt for wreckerators today!)

5st: very hard to "fix" combed, airbrushed icing. I wonder what was "wrong" before.

6rd: looks like the wreckerator doesn't understand how templates work.

wv: proud. These wreckerators should be proud.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Um...am I the only one who feels the least bit sorry for these poor non-native speakers trying to keep straight all the "st"s and "nd"s "rd"s and "th"s? I mean, if I were trying to write cakes in, say, German, I can't say I'd do much better.

Of course, I might actually buy a dictionary in that case...

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

@Ryan: "Does the "2th" have a hammer and sickle made out of a tiara and wand? How did that conversation go?

Mom: What kind of birthday party do you want?
Kid: Soviet Princess.
Mom: Ummm."

Hilarious catch! and a little creepy....

so is 3st pronounced "thirst?"

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love "61th".

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Dayton

Happy Twenty-Wunth Birthday! Oh and happy tooth birthday to you!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Maybe the first one is a Captain EO cake? You know? Disneyland and Michael Jackson? The 80s? Anyone? Is this thing on?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

ok, I just have to know. Some of you commenters post FTW. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hee hee!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that 1/4 century is what is left of the goal of living to 100. In that case, someone needs to visit a cardiologist. I'm a little concerned about all those spots in the heart.

http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

That cake for Elizabeth's 2th birthday? Is that a headband?

Because it looks like a hammer and sickle.

Yeah, it's a COMMUNIST birthday cake. I'd put these folks under surveillance if I were you.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Hey, you're right! Math puns ARE fun!

I'm reminded of the joke from the Three Stooges:

Q: When's the best time to go to the dentist?
A: 2:30 (Tooth-hurty)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGoueznou

My Highschool's homecoming banner said it was on the 21th.

Someone taped notebook paper over it with a "st".

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDamon

This must be the twoth or the threeth time I've seen number wrecks like these, but they crack me up just as much as they did the oneth time.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Anonymous said...
ok, I just have to know. Some of you commenters post FTW. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Usually "FTW" means "For The Win," but I've also heard some less family-friendly elaborations that I'll leave to your imagination.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Ah Flartus,

But are you sure that English is not their first language? I am good friends with three high school English teachers and they would be the first to tell about any number of student who could have gotten these wrong. Just saying...

Oh and Anon? I think it means "For The Win." But I am neither young nor hip so I could be wrong.

john

@Flartus: You make a good point. You'd think that with this epidemic they might actually post a cheat sheet at the bakery to avoid these perpetual screwups.

For example:
If the number ends in:
1 = 1st
2 = 2nd
3 = 3rd
4 = 4th
5 = 5th
6 = 6th
7 = 7th
8 = 8th
9 = 9th
0 = th

CONGRATULATIONS
GRADUATE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
GOOD LUCK
GOOD RIDDANCE (hee hee)

Please confirm spelling of NAMES. Remember, we are a serious baked goods business. We are NOT Wreckerators. We do not want our cakes to appear on CAKE WRECKS!
Take PRIDE in your PENMANSHIP.
Do not make URINE yellow icing, poo brown globs on cakes, and never use brown and yellow together! Use a color wheel to coordinate your colors!

Airbrushes and plastic flotsam are to be used with DISCRETION.
Be FOND of FONDANT.

Do not attempt a cupcake cake of a round object. Use a cookie or a round cake pan.

Heart shaped cake/cookie pans to be used for HEARTS.

Ladies, please consult me before construction of SPORTS related cakes!

Thank you,
Bakery Manglement

wv: summe. "In summe, don't F*** it up!"

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Jo,

Awesome!

john

thanks for the clarification, Gary and John!

I was thinking it was a dyslexic WTF :)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm confused. The fixed version? Did Hello Kitty 21th Birthday Jane get turned into the princess Happy 2th Birthday Elizabeth?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Jinx to A Girl In Her Kitchen, except my thought was 1/4 century til death. Which is sort of a negative positive thought, I guess. But still 100 would be awesome, even if that were it.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermuck-a-luck

KJ said...
"If a school can't get it right, how can we expect bakeries to do so?"
****
Worse than that: How can we expect the children IN those schools to get it? PIT TEE FUL!!!

And if 75 is 1/4 of a century, then a century is now 300 years. Inflation, much? Who has THAT kind of time?!

As for Elizabeth--she's barely 2, so she likely won't notice the "th" . So SOMEONE will have to teach her to do it that way. That's IF she
has any hopes of becoming a cake decorator.

=^e.e^=

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

We know that right brained, highly creative people tend to be somewhat dyslexic, but even the artistic delivery is wonky, sigh. It all smacks of minimum wage. And the comments are the absolute best with this one. Thanks everyone :-).

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoBurn

I am trying to reconstruct what the wreckerator was thinking when he was writing on the 1/4 century cake. I think he was so impressed by his own math skills cursive writing that he just had to go and throw in a little heart...filled with birdshot down in the right corner because he was so awesome.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

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