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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb122010

...But the Words Get in the Way

It's not always easy to express your feelings on Valentine's Day. Fortunately, these Wreckerators are here to help.

A-HAH!
This explains all those "Marry Christmas" cakes!

Happy Valentines + 'Day'

Yep, that's a first.

I'm continually amazed at how many Wreckerators botch the classic "Bee Mine" pun. It's not like it's that hard, guys: if there's a bee on it, write, "Bee Mine." If there's NOT a bee on it, write "Be Mine." That's it! And yet...

(Granted, you'd have a hard time convincing anyone those are bees.)

The fact that this was on clearance makes me oddly proud of the buying public.

Of course, no V-Day is complete until we explore some alternate spellings of "Valentine's":

Still, always remember this, my dear Wreckies: At the end of the day, what matters most to your S.O. is that you tried.

See?

(No, I don't think this vintage Wreck is professionally made, but it was just too cute not to share. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't love to come home to this? Am I right, ladies?)

JuliAnn J., Linda R., Abby D., Shannon L., Vickie M., Maria P., Eunice S., & Carrie M., I tried to say "I love you"... but then I realized that was wildly inappropriate. So, uh, hey, good job!

- Related Wreckage: Valentine's Variety

« Rockin' Wrectators | Main | TMI Valentines »

Reader Comments (87)

Can I throw in a completely non-cakey bit of trivia? St Valentine's remains are in Dublin, Ireland (so how many other Dublins are there? Oh, right) http://homepage.eircom.net/~seanjmurphy/irhismys/valentine.htm

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

"Valentain" made me laugh out loud.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlizzied

Those "bees" look like they're on fire.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So I'm at work and the last pic and third-to-last pic are blocked because of "adult content." HA! Can't wait to get home and see them!

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeia

I think that the second cake is meant to say "Happy Valentine's Day MJ + Brenda."

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

Bee Mines,

You know I always wondered where bees came from after getting all those birds and bees talks as a kid!

Who knew that you mine bees like you do gold and diamonds. So that's why we associate gold and diamonds with love! Suddenly life makes sense!

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDan Bradbury

Bee Mine's. I love it! That should be on a card!

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Valetin sounds like another one of those 'Man's little helper' prescriptions...

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate in Italy

"Merry Me?" Hmmm. As one named Merry, I have to say, "No, that cookie/cake is not me! *G*

Mostly posted because of my wv today: rillact. As in "I dunno how to rillact to these odd sentiments, rilly I don't!"

Merry at Annie's Book Stop/Sharon, MA

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How funny!

The second cake has to be one made for a couple of my online friends! MJ is the most amazing woman I know and just got back from a very long say in the hospital. She has spinal muscular atrophy (as does Princess Courtney) but keeps such a positive attitude and helps out so many other people with the disease.

Merry/Marry is quite entertaining. :)

I can't figure out why bakeries haven't printed out a cheat sheet of all the holiday words and phrases... I guess that would make sense...and spoil our fun!

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRita

I wonder if we'll get to see some Presidential cakes as bad as these!

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

That last one is absolutely priceless! Adorable!! My ex-boyfriend baked me a cake in a shape of a castle before.. He called me his princess. Too cute..

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNads' Bakery

Anonymous @11:29 said "Not to sound mean, but the picture with the heart that spells " Valentain"
Is not mispelled, it's in french ..."

Well, Anon, not to be mean, but "Valentine" in French is "Valentin", after St Valentin, the guy for whom Valentine's Day is named. "Valentain" is French for...um...nothing. :)

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Abby Normal said...
"My company’s nanny-ware is blocking that last picture. That’s never happened on this site before. ..."

About four people have said this now. I must be missing something huge in that picture, because to me it looks like possibly the least naughty thing ever to be on Cake Wrecks.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

You know, Valentain.

Rhymes with Frankenstain.

Oh, wait...

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I know someone who would probably love to get a "Happy Valentin's Day" cake, but then his name *is* Valentin.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConfusing

I'm reading on my home system, so blocking isn't an issue, and I honestly cannot see anything in the images or text that is not completely G-rated. Why some of the images are being blocked by filter software is totally beyond me.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFelixAndAva

To those claiming Valentain is French,

I believe the French spelling is actually Valentin and the "in" sounds like "ain."

Unless I'm wrong.

I don't think I am.

Unless I am.

john

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Hmm maybe the "I Tried" cake refers to someone possibly not making a mess in the kitchen while coming up with said cake and to throw off the wife he bought some roses.. lol

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

LOL.. the bee or be mine cakes are hilarious

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFarila

Not only is "Valentain" misspelled if the wreckerator intended to use the French Valentin, but if he/she intended to use French, then "Happy" and "Day" are uh... wrong.

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Ugh. That'll teach me to post late at night! I got the Valentain and Happy Valentin's Day cakes mixed up.

I don't believe Valentain means anything in any language.

Another says "Happy Valentin's Day." In which case, choose a language and spell the words correctly. Franglais does not count as a language.

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Nope. They are bees. Pandora bees.

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Valentain" is not really misspelled, because "Valentine's Day" in Spanish is "Dia de San Valentin." ... Oh, wait ...

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Bee Mine's???? Ugh. C'mon, decorators of the supermarkets, learn to spell!

I love the "I tried" cake. That is too cute for words.

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRosa

Re the blocked pics. Could be something in the file nales setting the filters off. Or your work is sick of you laughing and having fun, instead of working and being miserable?
Dara

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The third to last one:
Don't know if someone has already mentioned this, but Valentain is french for Valentine. So I guess it kinda works?

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That "bee mine's" cake sounds like something Gollum would say; you know "bee mine's precious". :P

February 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I swung by Tomb Wrecks, just to see if it was remotely close to the hilarity that comes with Cake Wrecks...

I have to say, there is nothing funny about that at all! I am very open minded, and love looking at tombstones (www.findagrave.com) but the stuff that is being made fun of a lot of the time are ppls nick names, and choices of pictures. Our Tombstones are a lasting memory of what we are in life, and if what you were in life happened to be your nick name, or golf/hunting/cars etc...then that is what it was. Spelling errors are unfortunate!

I find Tomb Wrecks to be right up there with teasing the unpopular folks back in school. Just in poor taste...funny tombstones are the ones that were left to be witty ie:
"John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,England , cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny."

February 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My god, all the fuss!!
Guys, if you don't know french, don't assume a word you don't know IS french...
"Valentine's Day" is "St-Valentin" or "Saint-Valentin" in french.
Trust me. Or trust http://translate.google.com/?hl=fr#en|fr|valentine%27s%20day

February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmelie

The person who decorated #4 clearly saw Avatar shortly before decorating...(Everything had six legs and/or wings)

February 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSynthia

I asked my ix year old what he thought of these cakes and he goes "Oh yes those are bees, or they could be poisonous callapitters."

February 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebra

I think the one that says "+ MJ day"is supposed to be for Michael Jordan's birthday... my husband always notes that it coincides with valentine's day. Fortunately for me it helps him remember the occasion.

May 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the last cake is from someone who loves someone else named "Tried." LOL

-Christie

May 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCristisha

I love that the "Bee Mine" cake has a little plastic thing on it that says the very same phrase, but properly spelled.

November 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterentropy-of-kura

Those bees look like they'd enter your head through your ear and feast on your brain, like something from Wrath of Khan.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGlasgow Cakes

The top pic is from a Paradise Bakery! I used to be a baker for one of their locations in Phoenix. I always made sure to spell correctly so that I didn't end up on here!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBre

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