Tuesday
Aug112009
Buyer's Remorse
August 11, 2009 Well, ladies, you did it: You've said your vows, the birdseed has been thrown, and now you're ready to hit the reception, do a little Mambo #5 (sure that fad is over, but you like it, dang it), and celebrate with your very own Prince Charming.
[music swelling] I'm talking about the guy of your dreams, the man who swept you off your feet with his suave good looks, his impeccable taste, and his...ah...
[music screeching to a halt] ...closet alcoholism?Yep, sorry to break it to you, girls, but some of you are going to learn a lot more about your new hubby than you wanted to at your wedding reception, all thanks to his grooms cake.
Like the fact that not only does he enjoy hunting - that you could deal with - but that he also believes plastering a photo of himself with his latest "kill" on a cake surrounded by real shotgun shells is wedding-appropriate.
[tears welling up] Aw, don't they look happy together? Mr. Romance here really knows the way to a girl's heart, doesn't he? (Through the ribcage with an M-16.)You could also learn he has a mildly-alarming obsession with the show "Golden Girls":
(Note: that's supposed to be Sofia in his lap, not a twisted granny-version of a blow-up doll.)And of course every bride finds this kind of humor absolutely hysterical on her wedding day:
Feel the love.- Related Wreckage: When Men Design Their Own Cakes
Reader Comments (126)
Our groom's cake was covered with ninjas. Totally awesome.
does anyone remember the groom on Ace of Cakes whose favourite movie was Steel Magnolias. Ugh
Did you see the adorable little strawberries wearing suits on the "Golden Girls" one though?
What's with Grooms Cakes? I'd never heard of such a thing before this year. I didn't have one. My major concern, one that I shared with many of our guests, was that there was cake. Not how it was decorated, not that I had my very own special cake.
I think the whole grooms cake thing is a scam to sell more cake.
Is it bad that I might want the beer cake for my hubby-to-be at our wedding? Maybe just not so wreck-i-licious- I mean the beer dripping down the cake isn't necessary... or appetizing, but boy does my boy love Tecate....
Oh, Lord have mercy. It just gets wreckier and wreckier. And it might just be me, but I wouldn't want shotgun shells or (unless they're made out of gum paste) on anything edible. Mmm, cake with a side of lead poisoning. That's romance!
And I'm sorry, it looks like a blow-up Golden Girl. Either that, or poor Sofia met her Maker and is in the throes of rigor mortis. Creeeepy. I'd think twice about marrying that one.
as a confirmed bachelor(ette)...i *adore* the last cake!!
Those shotgun shells deserve to be chocolate-dipped, too!
Um, what's up with Sofia's stockings?
And someone decided that the bride should look mad. On a cake, served at her wedding. Yeah, she's mad.
So the Bud Light cake is my husbands dream cake. Thanks for that one, now, it's on the top of the list for his next birthday! :)
Is it wrong of me to like the beer cake? I mean, using the cans as a stand and so tastefully laying out the caps is just artful. But the hunting cake--who really wants to eat a dead Bambi cake?? Venison stew is one thing, but chocolate cake? And what's with the sick blue swag?
As long as there was a suitable and lovely wedding cake, I could handle the beer one, just make sure any children don't choke on a bottle cap. Even "Golden Girls" although it's a little weird. But the other two...hmmmmmm.
I think the "death of a bachelor" one could be cute - if it didn't look like poo swirls surrounded by tidy-bowl blue.
maybe if it was just a tombstone shaped cake with the inscription... I think it's pretty funny.
wv - requeste -- I can't believe a bride may have requeste'd a bud light cake!
I'm really, honestly trying to think of one thing in the Golden Girls show that would capture a man's attention for more than ten seconds. I can't. Maybe it was just a joke where she asked him who was on his celebrity cheat with list and he said Estelle Getty so she wouldn't get mad.
On the up side, that couch is very nicely executed in closeup.
Oh My Goodness, these are all truly hilariousness at it's worst.
Hopefully, the brides had a sense of humor!
Are any of these guys still alive, or married? LOL
~Amy B
Living and baking cakes in the South, we do A LOT of groom's cakes. Very few are surprises from the bride. The guys are really starting to get into designing their own grooms' cake as much as the brides' do the wedding cake. I would guess most of these were "male designed" (well, maybe not the Golden Girls cake!).
-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com
well, I mean the CAKES weren't bad though?! I mean they belong more on wedding wrecks, cuz you know, they look executed (no pun) to perfection. no?
The one with the couch is just confusing and wrong ( but kinda well done ! ) The others ? That is the point of Grooms cakes...keep it out of the spotlight and make him think he's really involved in the wedding, put it in a dark corner and hope not too many people see it !
Word verfication: comit
I don't know about YOU, Jen, but if I were to find out that my husband has a closeted obsession with the Golden Girls I would be, well, GOLDEN!
The chocolate covered strawberries on the hunting cake were a nice touch.
I've never seen a groom's cake at a wedding, only a rehearsal dinner (since the groom's parents usually host the rehearsal dinner).
In the case of these cakes, serving one of them at the rehearsal would give the bride a chance to call it off before it happens. ;)
Totally fawesome!
These are all horrible. Well, the Golden Girls one wouldn't have been TOO bad if the old lady didn't look like a blow up doll. They really couldn't make that more realistic??
There is such thing as a great Groom's cake. I loved our's. My husband is obsessed with computers, so I got him a replica of his Dell. It wasn't perfect, but it was such a hit:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31131325&l=5dc1d05e9b&id=72001457
Seems like a quick way to ruin a special day.
The first one isn't too bad, actually. I've seen similar - I think it's a trend in Southern weddings. But the rest....yeesh. That Golden Girls one is just CREEEEEEEPY as hell.
Megan
www.adventuresofacarnivore.com
My question is, why are Sophia's legs different colors? Did they run out of one color and just finish them off with what was left from the groom's figure?
Could someone clear up the groom cake thingy for me please?
As far as I know we don't have groom cakes in the UK yet but I am used to being exposed to them on my beloved cake wrecks.
Now I always presumed the bride ordered the groom cake but am I now to believe grooms order them themselves!? I cannot imagine what my spouse would come up with, how do bridezillas cope with the not knowing?
Please someone explain. Too lazy to google... :D
All I could think was "Hey, .20-gauge! I've got one of those!"
LOL!!!! Those cakes are nightmarish! The beer cake probably would have been the one I would have ended up with if I was still with THAT guy. Good thing I broke that off when I did!
Thanks for the much needed laugh.
((((HUGS)))))
Although I did like the tuxedo dressed strawberries on one of them. Mmmmmmmm chocolate covered strawberries.
We had a groom's cake, but it was classy (and yummy). That last cake not only is inappropriate for a wedding, but it also looks hideous and not very appetizing. Come to my wedding and eat a tombstone cake!! No thanks...
The Golden Girls fetish... hilarious!!
i'm actually kinda digging that hunting cake. it's unique, and totally shows personality! and i'm sure they washed the casings before putting them on the cake. even as a lady, i wouldn't mind a cake with a firearms theme!
to M.Bouchard: ninjas on the cake! total awesomeness!
Wow. There are no words to describe the horror! LOL
@ nibbles
I actually didn't know that groom's cakes weren't a worldwide tradition til I started following cake wrecks.
I'm not sure how it started, but groom's cakes are usually chocolate, so they offset the white cake, and of course, allow more cake. Chocolate covered strawberries are a common accessory.
Theme groom's cakes are a more modern occurance, I reckon to allow the groom to have something of his own. They tend to reflect the hobbies or interests of the groom.
Incidentally, Blue Bell (a fine Texas creamery) offers a Groom's Cake Ice Cream. I think a gallon should be kept on hand in case the cake is hideous!
Oh my! I love all of these! They're hysterical to my twisted little mind. I only WISH we had thought to have a groom's cake at my wedding. Its not a tradition here in CA. I think it would have been an old car with a bunch of guys around it, under the hood, etc. That's my husband all over.
Honestly, if the bride can't have a sense of humor about the groom's cake, what's the marriage going to be like?
I'm with kev. I think groom's cakes are just a scam to squeeze even more money out of the event. I've certainly never heard of them before now.
What's wrong with shotgun shells, as long as they're either not actually on the food as such, or properly washed out?
And, uh, guys - it's a groom's cake.
It's not meant to be romantic.
That's what the wedding cake is for.
My best female friend got married in January, and her husband's groom's cake had the symbol of his WoW Clan. Groom's cake? Not about romantic sappy-happy.
I'm kind of fond of that grave cake, I must say. Not the execution, maybe, but to me it just seems like a silly cake the groom's friends gave him or something as joke. ..Which gives you a pretty good idea of what my guy friends' idea of a joke is.
Hey - at least none of them featured a salmon handcuffs motif.
I'm concerned about the lead from the shotgun shells getting into the strawberries.
Beer? Deer? Steer clear dear!
Josh
http://thedmt.blogspot.com
My brother is getting married in October, but as far as I know he's not having a groom's cake, just the regular tiered cake from our hometown bakery. I wouldn't even begin to wonder what would be on his!
On no planet can I envision the proper place, time, or occasion for a cake like the Golden Girls Wreck. Especially not after the taking of solemn vows of love, honor, and fidelty in front of God and witnesses.
Just sayin.
wow just wow
(Gulps.) Um, the tuxedoed strawberries are cute...
Ok, maybe it's just me and maybe just because I've been married for going on 25 years...but I think these cakes are hysterical and I'd have no problem with them. Are they fairly tacky and tasteless, sure. But so much of the wedding is what the bride wants that I'd have no problem with the groom having something of his choice, even if did give everyone a chuckle.
Groom's cakes, I always assumed their purpose was to have some cake that actually tasted good at the wedding. Most of they weddings I've been to had your standard, it looks beautiful but tastes like shortening cakes and then there was the chocolaty goodness of the groom's cake. M-m-m . . . pass the milk.
I like the last one... hehe
For having just gotten engaged YESTERDAY, you are not making me feel very confident in the whole marriage process....
~ardie