Hello, Kitty?
July 16, 2009 Hello Kitty is the epitome of all things cute, to an almost nauseating degree:
However, put her in the hands of these bakers and she becomes a puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem:
This next one is deceptively nice, other than the RSS-icon hair bow...
...but then you realize that massive domed face is ALL icing, slathered onto a...a....[swallowing] CUPCAKE CAKE!! [blood-curdling scream]
I think this next baker tried to make a Hello Kitty vampire, but since HK has no mouth it turned out a little...odd.
Transplanted walrus tusks, or dangling fingers? I suppose either works on the cracked black background. Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I find that a vampire who waves totally loses all "cool" credibility. Seriously. Can you picture Dracula waving? Of course not. It's just not dignified.
Now, if you want a creepy Hello Kitty done right, you do what Bonefinder did:
Zombie Hello Kitty - excellent!And lastly, Julie M. found out the hard way that her local bakery either has no idea who Hello Kitty is, or believes she is Porky Pig's sister:
Yes, that's really supposed to be Hello Kitty. Wow.Answer: Something that horrifies every Star Wars fan in existence:
Everyone can relax; it's Photoshopped. For legitimate HK insanity, though, check out Hello Kitty Hell. It's funny stuff, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a lot of the stuff on there is adorable. (Look at these water bottles and tell me they're not just the cutest - go on.)
Reader Comments (121)
The Zombie Kitty cake is pretty terrific.
Does that last cake's inscription read, "Yoo shore doo have a purty mouth"??
For some reason, Vampire Kitty is oddly appealing. I'd have wanted the fangs a tad more pointy, but still....
Wow.
I can hardly keep a straight face when passing a neighbor's car with Hello Kitty stickers on it. Now I better cross to the other side of the street when I pass it because I'll be cracking up imagining one of these plastered on her hood.
Word verification: tyllu, as in I tyllu some of these don't look a thing like Hello Kitty.
Love the zombie....
Wonder how you screw it up. SHe is basically a circle with two triangles at 10 and 2 (like your driving hands ppl) a yellow circle nose...black dot eyes and some whiskers....how do you screw that up? SRSLY?
Okay...so I love the Hello Vader!
Um......btw....I saw a very KEWL looking biker in full atire (female) on a Harley....looking tough with all her tats and she went past and I saw a HELLO KITTY BACKPACK on her back. Just not right, I almost wrecked and died.
Zombie Hello Kitty is awesome. I've always said that if I were gonna kill an adorable cartoon... well you know the rest.
myolderbrothes.blogspot.com
That Darth Vader is stinkin' hilarious.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
That last one... kitty is bleeding from the mouth? Meow!
HK zombie cake ftw! That was excellent.
Zombie Hello Kitty = awesome cake! Why can't the others look as good as that one?
And "puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem" made my morning.
WV: bustswar.... I ordered a Hello Kitty cake bustswar at the wreckorator when I saw the finished product.
I think the pig one confused Hello Kitty with Miss Piggy.
Btw, there is a hilarious site called kittyhell that I love. It's a blog by a guy whose wife is a HK fanatic.
How did you add the "Digg This" widget to your blog?
The bottled water in the female torso shapped bottles is kinda creepy. Of course the outfits on the labels are cute as can be. But drinking water out of headless female forms is a little too creepy for me.
In the one with the hair box that you say looks like an RSS fee logo for some reason I see nothing but the word "God". Maybe they are trying to elevate the status of "Hello Kitty"
That zombie kitty is awesome!
And you didn't post the Hello Kitty wedding cake????
http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/01/12/hello-kitty-wedding-cake/
WV:Fally - When someone gets a "Fail" for spelling "Fail"
Are you sure that first one wasn't supposed to be Ms. PacMan?
The blank stare! THE BLANK STARE! So emotionless and cold!
It almost looks like "Helio Kitty" on that headstone...
Well, I do kinda like the vampire one. It's not really that bad.......
Marshmellow Hello Kitty kind of looks like JigglyPuff (you know... the stay puft marshmellow man version of a pokemon?)
It is a travesty for such ugliness to be put out there in the world! Psht!
I have worshiped the zombie HK cake for years now, but have yet to get one! I did get the tattoo though...it even made the pages of the Hello Kitty Hell blog! YAY ME!!!!
WHEN WILL THE CCC MADNESS END????
Crazy, just crazy I tell ya.
When I saw that the second one was a CCC (blech!), my teeth started hurting from all of that icing that is domed up on them - the icing to cake ratio must be 100:1!
The vampire one would have been cuter if the teeth were smaller and didn't look like bleeding fingers... I kind of like the cracked black background - you think Dracula would have a pretty background!?!
Awwww...totally cute. Hello Kitty doesn't get obnoxious for me, like all the other TM's eventually do...
I think the zombie kitty is done very nicely....not really a wreck as far as technique goes. Thanks for the daily laughs Jen!
Not only is the second one a CCC, The ones in the corners (A CCC shouldn't have corners anyway) are on their side...That's just such a terrible idea. Do people not realize this when they are making them, or ordering them?
OMG, I no longer feel bad about the less-than-steady piping job I did on the Hello Kitty cake I made for my daughter's birthday. Upon melting the chocolate to make the lines, I realized I didn't have a suitable attachment for my piping bag. I improvised by using a medicine syringe (without a needle). All things considered, I think my cake turned out really well. Wish I had some pictures online.
Here is the link for the REAL AND ORIGINAL ZOMBIE CAKE: http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/2659373222/in/set-72157613990914599/
I will never understand the obsession with Hello Kitty...particularly with girls who are over the age of ten.
Those cakes are pretty hilarious.
I dunno, the water bottles aren't TOO bad.
On the other hand there are these:
http://www.kittyhell.com/2007/12/26/hello-kitty-contacts/
which are so wrong on so many levels
For Hello Kitty cupcakes done right (not the dreaded CCC!) check out: http://justjennrecipes.com/hello-kitty-fondant-how-to/2009/07/07/
Hello Kitty, what have they done to you??!!!
Dood! I want the zombie Hello Kitty as my next birthday cake. Alas, since I bake my own cakes and have NO talent whatsoever for decorating, I guess I'll just have to dream.
The rest of these are total nightmares...especially the Porky Pig one.
BTW, Hello Kitty weddings are popular in Asia. I've seen video evidence on YouTube, and it scares me.
The graveyard, dead HK makes me laugh.
~Amy B.
that zombie one is amazing, I am not going to lie.
like Vader's head didn't already look like a penis...
@anonymous at 11:31
What is your problem? Why all the hate?
How rude.
Jen, you don't have to post "mean spirited remarks" like that.
Excellent post! Bizarre, HK should be so easy.
Alex
Did you know that in Japan (the home of Hello Kitty) you can purchase a Hello Kitty vibrator?
Wrap your mind around that one.
The HK water bottles were cute, but I really liked the HK taser gun. Now I want a CCC in the shape of a HK taser gun. With fangs. Yeah.
And anyway, everyone knows Batz Maru rulz.
wv: creake - that could mean so many things here!
Absolutely dying with laughter over Hello Vadar. Absolutely Hysterical!!! Thanks so much for that laugh.
I love the Zombie Hello Kitty. Very well done. Perfect balance of creepy and cute. I'm sure it made someone's Halloween.
Mutant Puffed-Face Gerbil had me in stitches too. If you hadn't told me what it was, I would have never guessed.
I really like the vampire one (I have a thing for vampires!) The zombie is amazing and I almost fell out of my chair at the HK Darth Vadar. I know it is PS, but the sad thing is that I can actually see someone doing that!
Luke, I am your....gay uncle?
And I totally love the Hello Zombie. Fantastical.
The Zombie Hello Kitty Looks like Frankenstein's Monster. The rest of them just look insane. And how do you NOT know who Hello Kitty is?
As a Kitty-chan fan (people say it makes me very easy to shop for *g*), I just cringe while laughing at these. I'm not really sure why it's so difficult; I once received a homemade HK cake and it was adorable. =)
Zombie!Kitty is great! Very clever. Makes up for the horror of Petunia Pig and the crusted over frosting dome horror of the CCC (patooi!) And I'm not even TOUCHING the vampire!Kitty. I've seen it done but this example is quite wreckalicious!
Someone once forwarded me the Hello Vader pic, and the filename was NNNNOOOOOO.jpg XD
You know, that vampire kitty looks kind of like a Hello Kitty headcrab zombie. http://blogplog.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/zombie.jpg
The Zombie cake is fantastic.
The others made me die a little inside.
http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/
i've met hello kitty vader in person at a con. it is most undoubtedly a real thing.
HAHAHA! TEE-HE! OH MY!
How funny!
That made my day!
~Lucia
I LOVE this site. I found out about it from Bakerella's blog and I am in love. My hubby too, so there's no jealousy.
Thanks for making my (our) day (s).
BTW: I'm currently taking the Wilton cake decorating classes and I'm applying myself to my studies since I do NOT want to be featured here unless is on the SS section.