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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Nov062009

Bird is the Word

Poor Big Bird. He's a beloved childhood icon, he's turning 40 next week, and he gets no respect in the baking world.

It's one thing to rip the poor guy's beak off, but then to sign your name (illegibly) in its place? For shame, Halko! Or maybe Nillo...Mouo? Dang, this Wreckerator must have written code for the NSA in a former life; I have no idea what that says.

Guys, it's a sad, sad day on Cake Wrecks when a dreaded CCC is the "best" of the bunch:

Although I don't recall his beak being quite that...Popsicle-y. Hang on, lemme go grab a reference photo. [furious clickety-clicking]

Ah, here we go:

Yeah, not so much a Popsicle as a banana bicycle seat. (Anyone remember those?)

Um...is this Big Bird, or a blonde Elmo? I'm confused.

From the look of that beak/mouth combo, though, at least I know I'm not the only one.

And lastly, if you've ever wondered what would happen if Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird had a lovechild...

Wonder no more.

Hey Monique R., Donald L., & Todd T., did you know that Big Bird is a lark? It's true. Honest.

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Reader Comments (123)

The last one looks like one of those pinecone birdfeeder things that kindergarteners make.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

...the last one looks like some kind of... shrivelled pineapple with legs :/

lol :)

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Big Bird looks so sad in the reference photo - he must have seen the cakes too.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.

Geeeez...my badly-done knitted Big Bird suddenly doesn't look so craptastic, and at least my kid knew it was supposed to be Big Bird.

Sticking the Elmo plastic bits on shows some serious cluelessness and laziness. Gah.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

first!
I saw an episode of Food Network Challenge where they did Sesame Street cakes and someone did a BADASSS Big Bird cake. He got the respect he deserved, there.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatballs

Actually, I think the third one looks more like Sponge Bob than Big Bird or Elmo! And does the first one say "Hello" maybe?

Poor, poor Big Bird.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Ouch! That last one was really bad.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristan

We really should get that beak/mouth thing looked at by a doctor... they can do wonderful things with plastic surgery these days.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

Ouch, that last is really bad!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristan

That last one made me crack up so hard XD

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter-Matt-aka-Mail-Jeevas-RIP

That first one looks like Big Bird came off very badly in a fight. His cheek is swollen, jaw broken, and the missing beak... I think I'm going to be sick!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJedi Knight Ivyan

It's obvious by this post, Jen, that beaks are tremendous challenges to cake decorators. I mean, REALLY? A carrot and a gray strung-out blob? A garbled name? I love Big Bird and I am saddened deeply by the wreckiness. And then I laugh...

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

Alright, that does it!!! They crossed the line! These nitwits have butchered and mutilated the Holy Grail of my childhood! It's time to arrange for a lynching.

I'm 34 years old, grew up on Sesame Street, and got next week's TV Guide in the mailbox the other day. I couldn't help but smile at the Sesame Street cast on the cover and race home to read the article. It brought back wonderful memories.

Jen, this post almost made me cry....

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The last one looks not so much like a love child but more like a genetic engineering gone wrong.

On another note, here’s an interesting twist on customer expectations from Not Always Right:

http://notalwaysright.com/the-cake-is-a-lie/3047" rel="nofollow"> The Cake Is A Lie

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarla Warren

I thought the second one had bacon for it's beak! No, really, go look at it again and tell me if you don't see bacon there. Bacon makes everything better after all.

It was SO awesome seeing you at the book signing last night. I'm glad I finally got a chance to meet you two. What a wonderful evening it was.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

My 4 year old twins saw the 'blonde elmo' and immediately laughed and said "That's Elmo"! HAHA....too funny!!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

My 2 year old saw the third cake and immediately said, "that's Elmo."

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

The first one: WTF.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

He's looking darn good for 40.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I think the text on #1 is "Hello" ...maybe.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

Im almost 30 and I grew up watching this show.

I love sesame street-big bird , ernie, bert, kermit.

I really dont care for the newer elmo and abby etc

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBEFORE ELMO

Poor Big Bird. He's like the Rodney Dangerfield of Sesame Street.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

how can the cake have a beak and a mouth.....

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwinbeaks

I'm so so happy you linked to that article, the Jervais/Elmo link at the bottom was priceless!

I'm so surprised beaks are that hard to do, but I guess if you find it challenging you shouldn't try to cover up by saying "but look! I can do mouths well!"

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternithya

Blonde Elmo for sure.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Actually, I thought the last one looked more like a cross between Big Bird and Snuffaluffagus...I always wondered about those two!
I think we need to start a "Just Say No" campaign for wrecorators. They seem to be in bad shape lately!

Becky

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I believe the first cake is definitely promoting Hulu, the online video site. At least that's what it looks like to me...

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Big Bird is an icon in any age group, no respect.. no respect..

If you can't give a bird the respect he deserves.. don't attempt to create him..
The last one scares me..

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkatrotta

That first one looks angry (look at his eyes!), but I suppose I would be too if someone ripped off the top part of my beak.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne :-)

You nailed that last one. That's exactly what that looks like. I had to explain to the woman in the next cube why I was laughing so hard.

I think the name in the first one is Holly.

WV: stalin. No comment

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Yikes. Just yikes.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

If they do this to Big Bird, imagine what would happen to Mr. Snuffleupagus?

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLife's a Laugh

Can I point out that on the last cake, the inscription looks like "Happy bistlxlay"? It's a Wreck even without the creepy Big Bird.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

That last one makes me think of "Loafy" on (I can't remember which station's...) morning cartoons.

"Sit Loafy, sit." And then the amorphous blob would kind of shuffle his fat around. PLEASE tell me someone else remembers this, ha ha!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Yea, not sure who they were trying to fool with the third one. My 3 year old son was on my lap and the first thing he said was "That's a yellow Elmo! That's silly!"

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Ouch. Poor big bird. This makes me wonder if I can pull off a big bird cake in my kitchen. If I can do http://earlymodernmom.blogspot.com/2009/11/my-best-cake-ever.html" rel="nofollow">Guitar Hero, surely I can do a bird, right?

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEarly Modern Mom

Here's what I think happened with the third one. It was meant to be an Elmo cake, but someone called for a Big Bird cake. So they said, well crap, we don't know how to make one of those. I know! Just color the Elmo cake cream and add a beak. Voila! Massive Fail.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Am I the only one who thinks the last one is kinda cute??!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenMcG

The kindest thing I can think of to say is that perhaps these are modern "interpretations" of Big Bird's image? In...cake?

Oh, who am I kidding-- I would weep all through dessert at the sight of any one of them.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiminycricket

Perhaps Big Bird wandered too close to a poultry farm, where I understand beak removal is often a common practice... No wait! I see that Elmo has it! In that case, a message to you, Elmo: any self-respecting bird's mouth is found INSIDE its beak. Think on that next time you try to sport this look.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Big Bird/Elmo looks more like Sponge Bob to me. These cakes make me cry inside ... and laugh hysterically outside.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

lol@Julie-- The first one doesn't say, "Hello." He can't anymore!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Look out! The Big Bird/Herry Monster/pinecone monstrosity has had its wings clipped and its legs bolted to the surface of the cake!

I guess so it can't get loose to take revenge on its creator, Dr. Frankenstein.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoe...mama

I think the third one looks like blonde Elmo with the swine flu--that beak definitely looks more like he just sneezed!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I can't help it, I laughed the hardest at "I always wondered what would happen if..."-Hilarious. Poor Big Bird, he was my favorite as a child too, I made my poor Great Aunt carry my great big stuff Big Bird all over "the loop" (downtown chicago) when we went to see Santa and eat at Fields when I was 3.-Yes, she still complains.

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

Good gravy!

Maybe Elmo dyed his hair and stuck on a beak for Halloween... Just wanted to have a Big Bird costume. Right? Right??

WV: blesu. What sweet old ladies say when they see these wrecks - "Oh, blesu, sweetheart. You sure did try"

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBek

the first one looks like a big bird and snuffalufagus love child!

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's the second word on the love child cake? "2 Nch"? "2 McR"?

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterarensb

Am I the only one who thought the text in the first image was perfectly positioned to represent a Hitler mustache?

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKazim

I'm crossing shows a bit here but I'm ok with anything as long as they don't screw with the swedish chef (and his rubber chicken ;)).

So i can laugh at these... alot. Anyone else thinking of the ugly duckling story for that last one and hoping, DESPERATELY, that it applies?

November 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

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