A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
January 31, 2009 
"The balloons just had a really strong tailwind, that's all. Oh, and the inscription? Uh, yeah, that was the tailwind...too..."
I don't think I buy it, Garret A. - but then, I guess I don't have to; you already did! [cymbal crash!]
(Why yes, sometimes I DO have an old-style Vaudeville soundtrack in my head - why do you ask?)
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Reader Comments (51)
does that say Happy Birthday Pearl, or Happy Birthday People ? either way, I don't think Pearl or the birthday people will be happy. And it looks like it was written with tar.
Classic!
I've never seen balloons at that angle before, they look like multi colored sperm...ewww, I'm not eating that!
(Hope that isn't too crude for your blog, but it is what they look like!)
Is that supposed to say Happy Birthday People? Or am I missing the name?
I gotta say... Those sideways balloons kind of made me think of a technicolor sex-ed filmstrip or something. Maybe I just had one two many martinis last night...
Maybe (just) it's not so much that it's windy out but that these "balloons" *were* once aloft, and then crashed onto the cake when they realized what thick, gooey blobs of crap they actually ARE.
Poor Peorl.
Maybe they turned it sideways in order to fit the inscription on there. Wait. No. Ummmm?
Wow! It look like a kid who is just learning cursive wrote that. You think they thought turning it sideways gave it the effect of flying? Seriously!
Awww, but wouldn't you love to be named Pearl??
Wow, that's pathetic!
What kind of professional WRITES like that? Jeeze.
I do have to admit, though, that I worked as a cake decorator a year after high school and while I could write well, I actually wrote:
Congradulations!
on dozens of cakes we sold for graduation parties. Apparently folks thought I was being clever since they were for GRADuations.
Is that really supposed to say "people"? What's that all about? "Happy Birthday generic people whose names escape me right now" And the balloons look like very festive "swimmers" if ya know whudda mean ;)
Well, hopefully "Peorl" still had a good "binthday", despite the breeze.
The balloons are deflating!!! That's it!
Wow...you wouldn't think it would be all that hard to get the balloons on a cake be in the proper "balloon up" position. And of course the wreaker tried to fit the word 'birthday' in after starting the word 1/3 into the cake...I'm not even going to say anything about the handwriting. OY! ....and do we know what the colored crumb stuff that appears to be on the side of this cake is???...seeing that the balloons do kind of look like spermies...I'm a little concerned about what the FDA might say about this cake!
Isn't that just typical of balloons? They never last through a whole party...
Happy Birthday Plorl!
I was priding myself on not having a hangover after last night, but after viewing this cake, I'm starting to feel a little wonky.
What are the squirts of color on the sides of the cake?
technicolor swimmers... love that comment!
My great-grandaunt was named Pearl... not sure she would have liked this cake.
WV: digrater.... someone should have used digrater and added some chocolate to this cake instead of technicolor swimmers.
While in graphology when one writes in a mix of cursive and plain it's considered a trait of intellectuals, but I'm thinking that the mix of the capitols, lower-case and cursive on a cake may just put Peorl in a good enough mood for the conception party the balloons are striving for. Or maybe the writer is just a buffoon!?!?
I think they were in a bit of a hurry making that cake. Last minute rush maybe?
~Amy B
Use http://www.instantrimshot.com to link your cymbal crashes!
I'm still trying to figure out what name that is supposed to say.
The sheen on those balloons is grossing me out.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Oh, how sad! I think I would burst into tears if that were my cake!
Poor Pearl! (But yay for our entertainment!)
balloons? i'm pretty sure you mean the tadpoles. cute little guys.
i want maybe next year's cake will have frogs. you know, after a year's passed they're sure to have grown up.
Jen, you're so funny.
This cake is the perfect example of why stopping by the bakery to pick up a last-minute cake from the case is a BAD idea, especially if all the decorators have gone home for the day and all you're left with is the high-school kid who sweeps up in the evenings.
OMG laughing - someone who is just as bad as I am in the cake decor department *LAUGHING*
I'm over here from BB publishers, by the way...stopped at their twitter site and saw this :)
I'm reading "Happy Birthday Plorl" which, I guess means it was for more than one birthday? As in "Happy Birthdays"
Does that mean a group celebration, or is the recipient supposed to save it? The cake that keeps on wishing.....
Bahahaha! It's supposed to read "Happy Birthday Pearl, and I'm Pearl. I cannot believe my birthdau cake made it to Cake Wrecks! My friends Jim & Garret invited me to a great birthday dinner, and then apologized (and winced a little) when they brought this cake out. We laughed so hard we cried! I told them I've always felt a little sideways so it was ok. Bahahaha, I am so glad that all of you have the chance to laugh out loud too! Happy Cake Wrecking ~ Pearl
In keeping with the sex-ed interpretation a lot of commenters (myself included) see in this cake, I would just like to add that my verification word was "mater".
The balloons remind me of the old joke about the guys giving sod laying instructions: "Green side up! Green side up!"
Terrible Cake! LOL LOL LOL LOL
Holy moly, that rim shot link is funny.
WV - aterobba - Pearl was aterobba'd of her dignity when she saw this was her birthday cake.
What does it say? Happy Binthday Peorh?
Maybe the birthday...boy?...girl?...is blind, so it doesn't matter.
Thanks you Cyberrblue
I was lacking a good synonym for the ballons and multi colored sperm just fits perfectly
This is a truly tremendous site !!
Glad to see that you are not including any 'profanity, mean spirited remarks', they are just soooo last century, as I believe Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand are finding out..
Although, Russell B, bless him, is funny and should be the subject of a cake himself...
The one where a 'computer memory' has been put on the cake is just, well, surreal in a 'Twilight Zone' kinda way..
To quote a Dorothy's nemesis: "I'm meeelting!" Gol-lee, what a mess!
I would like to say it's the thought that counts, but...
Pearl, I'm glad to see you had a sense of humor about your celebratory cake. I hope it tasted good.
Your poor friends ...
I think "spaced out" is a good way of describing it.
Nice....Poor Pearl
So maybe Pearl was laying on the couch when they brought in the cake. That way she could read the cake...of couse the balloons would have to appear sideways! Job well done!
I think it is particularly appropriate that the recipient of this cake actually posted...I'm so sorry...but, really, it IS funny.
WV: vowless...za cake design vas vowless...
Oddly I never saw the sperm look a likes! I am the guilty one for accepting this cake.
I'll be linking this page in my blog.
Garret of http://jimandgarret.blogspot.com/
The vaudeville soundtrack reminds me of my halcyon days of youth, when I was in college.
A friend of mine played the clarinet. For a few days, he decided to take it around with him and provide vaudeville-style musical cues for himself as he went on about daily life.
It was made of awesome.
Word Verification: lasho. As in, "the baker who made the toilet cake deserves 30 lassho."
OMG!! Garret my man, you're famous! Hooray for making it onto Cake Wrecks. Yay!
Ok, so I know I'm WAAAY late commenting, but I've just discovered your blog and I LOVE it. I also think it's awesome that the cake featured for my birthday is a birthday cake - how cool (and awful) is that?!
Happy Binthday Plorl! Enjoy. lol xx
You gotta wonder; was the decorator on drugs when they made this special little cake, or do they not have good perception of things?