You Say "Redneck" Like it's a Bad Thing
January 28, 2009 I would like to state for the record that I grew up around a bunch of rednecks, and I have nothing but affection for that Nascar-loving, deer-hunting, Coors-ball-cap-wearing crowd. That said, I'm pretty sure they should never be allowed to plan their own weddings.
Exhibit A:
I have no words.
Exhibit B:
I have words, but none that can be repeated in polite company. Egads, man, the hoof! I don't even want to know what that is inside it - just tell me it's not the cake server, please. [shudder]
Exhibit C:
"We are gathered here today to join this man, this woman, and this truck in holy matrimony..."
Exhibit D:
For a "shotgun wedding" perhaps? (Ba-dum-bump!)
And finally, Exhibit E:
Hey, look, an actual bride and groom topper - no deer heads! Oh, but there IS a deer...and the bride's toting a shotgun...and I'm suddenly in the mood for fruit roll-ups. Huh.
I'm actually a bit disappointed that I couldn't find a Nascar-themed wedding cake. Anyone have one to send me? C'mon: it'll be therapeutic!
Thanks to Chris M., Melody H., Jacy D., and both Anony M.s for their expert Wreckporting!
Reader Comments (312)
i have to wonder if the deer heads are the sculptures you see in pawn shops and gas stations throughout the mountain west, or some sort of cake-specific creation.
Holy cow. Or deer, maybe.
The sad thing is, remove the plastic deer and the top one is quite nice. Barring the plastic deer/truck/shotgun shells, they're all pretty well executed...
Well, there might not be any hope for that one at the bottom. The fruit roll-up leaves don't quite hide the fact that you can SEE the cake through the icing. We need more leaves!
There is NO reason to put shotgun shells on your wedding cake unless you want to shout to everyone that the bride is pregnant. None. I don't care how avid a hunter you are.
Let's all send a baby gift round about May, mmm?
Ok-what about the plastic bugs on the tree stump cake?!?
If the top of your wedding cake features a deer and a shotgun....you might be a redneck
guess this proves there's more to wrecking a cake than bad grammar and poor icing skills
wv - minessid...as in 'That's minessid; put it down'
This is such an awesome collection of cakes! (I really like that mudslide one, and I haven't got a redneck bone in my body.)
This is actually my favorite type of wreck: talent used for evil (or at least to tacky ends), like that really creepy cake made to look like the bride. More tacky talent, please!
WTH is that hoof in front of exhibit B? I'm scared and nauseated all at the same time.
That is AWESOME!! Being from the South (born and raised, thank you very much) I can totally appreciate those cakes. I don't want them of course, but I can appreciate them.
At least they we executed well. Sadly the sam can not be said ot the bakers.
I agree with a lot of the other commenters: most of these cakes are well-executed, but that doesn't stop them from being hilarious.
Anonymous (Michelle) said... Ahhh! You found the way to my husband's heart, cake & antlers!
My boyfriend and I often say that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach... because the rib cage takes too long to chop through.
And finally (this one is for my brother): if your porch collapses 'n' more'n four dogs is injured, you might be a redneck.
I saw some camo cummerbunds this weekend that would go perfect with these cakes.
Probably appropriate that one set of initials on the tree stump was "DWI"
They have a bright future.
I am from South Alabama and I love the first cake! I would proudly use it!
I have to say, I like the truck muddying up the elegant traditional wedding cake. It's nothing I would have wanted at my wedding, but I see the humor.
Katie
WV: iverseth. Who iverseth I've got a lithp ith athking for it.
I actually have made a groom's cake based on the top one. Except they wouldn't spring for gum paste leaves and put "silk" ones on instead. It was served on a log and had men and women hunters on the top. It was displayed right next to the wedding cake.
You can see it here. http://www.myriadcakedesign.com/
pages/special_occasion.php. There's no NASCAR cake, but I have done motorcycle and Corvette cakes (similar to the mudslide cake)
I don't have time to read all 110+ comments so forgive me if this echoes anything that has already been said... My first thought for C is that the bride and groom met when the bride's truck slipped down a hill and the groom rescued her (or, I suppose, the bride rescued the groom when HIS truck slid down a hill). In which case the cake is rather clever.
@ Sandi - No matter how awesome your hair and nails are, you look stupid carrying your bow up a tree stand in a pink Coach bag. That's why the camo thing started. ;-)
It's that whole Beverly Hillbillies thing. ;-) (and it's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it)
These are so great, love the 4x4 and shotgun cakes.
Is it wrong that I think the cake with the truck is kind of pretty?
Those are actually really amazing works of art...especially the first one. Granted a bit of an odd choice for a wedding...a grooms cake maybe, but a wedding? But, it shows the spirit of the bride and groom and what they enjoy.
well creepy or not you have to admit that the first one is at least beautifully executed... hm, perhaps not the best choice of words... oh well!
also, i hate to even say this, but i THINK the hoof has been made into a cup or a vase! note the leather stitched into the opening. usually that means you can drink out of it or put liquid in it in some form. i hope to GOD that's not what they toasted with!! *SHUDDER*
Aw, the tree trunk cake is kind of sweet, with the heart and initials...okay, I could live without the shotgun shells.
And the first one would be rather pretty if it didn't have those creepy deer heads on top! A pair of entire deer would have worked better
Here's a link to a NASCAR themed groom's cake from Cakes by Sam: http://www.cakesbysam.com/images/Wedding_Cakepics/jengroom.jpg and here's one that looks like a wedding cake by Jo's Cakes and Catering: http://www.joscakesandcatering.com/files/7147777.jpg.
Have fun! Thanks for keeping us entertained!
I don't think the first one can be a wedding cake, since it's a buck and a spike. Maybe some kind of father/son event? Anyway, I think it's very artistically rendered. Using an actual tree "cookie" for the base is a nice touch.
I kind of like the tree stump with the heart, too.
I work in the woods. So sue me :)
Some of these may not be total wrecks, but they sure are trashy. Wow. I'm almost speechless.
At least they're done well...?
Oh deer...why oh why are these WEDDING cakes???
You might be a redneck if you've been married three times and you still have the same in-laws!
Uh, while artfully created "stuff we dun kilt" just doensn't come out to be a very romantic wedding cake theme. Maybe it's just me.
But you've gotta admit...those were really WELL-DONE cakes!
The themes may have been a bit silly, but they were well-crafted and quite attractive for what they were.
I think the tree stump is pretty cool looking. Not really what I would picture for a wedding cake but maybe for a trip to the redwood forest?
The first cake has two male deer on it... anyone else notice that? The one on the left is NOT a doe, but is a "button buck" as noted by the small horns on its head. The implications of that are endlessly entertaining...
Jesus. Oh Jesus.
If only someone had put a top hat and veil on the deer heads, I think that's the only way it would have been better (worse?).
UGH! A friend did have a NASCAR wedding cake, but I didn't take pictures. I'll have to ask her. In the mean time, this was her wedding cake topper.
http://www.bridalwave.tv/nascar.jpg
The first cake I actually kind of like, though I could do without the buck heads on the top -- I mean, maybe some grass and a pair of deer of appropriate sexes grazing if you wanted to keep the woodsy theme.
(Also, am I the only person who thinks 'not that there's anything wrong with that' comments whenever someone points out that the first cake has two male deer on the top just makes the person in question look like s/he couldn't come up with a way to convey that without adding something to cover his/her butt?)
In Exhibit C, it looks as if the SUV had diarrhea down the side of the cake.
Dear baby Jesus.
All I can say is WOW!!! My dad would probably have loved to have cake A at their wedding but my mom would have killed him.. these are very funny.
The stump cake bears the initials of a "DWI." Perfect.
I refuse to believe that you'll have a true collection of redneck cakes until you find one that represents a monster-truck competition. Preferably on a Mudslide cake.
As for the doe with antlers, well, maybe the bride had a nice ra...
Never mind.
Word verification: premban. The premature banning of redneck cakes.
Rebecca, I think a doe can get antler stumps, and if redneck university has instructed me correctly, some have even grown small antlers actually.
Verrrrrry interesting cakes. One can only assume that these couples have similar interests for the cakes to look like they do. Now, that truck cake looked like a late 80s model Chevy/GMC. Does anyone have one with a Bronco? Another thing about rednecks, they love their brand loyalty when it comes to trucks. I married into a family that loves Ford apparently.
i'm thinking that top one must be for a same sex redneck couple since it's a buck and a spike buck rather than a buck and a doe. who knew?
Oh, cripes. Only the last one even looks edible. I don't want to eat camouflage, mud, trucks, dead deer...Even if it's done well, it just seems so wrong on a cake. XP
VW: phali. Draw your own conclusions.
I think Exhibit C is HILARIOUS! That is probably how the bride feels with her husband's taste mixing with hers. I love it.
And I thought the shotgun wedding cake was pretty cute too (and funny).
Of course, I like the sense-of-humor cakes. I think we all get a little too serious about ourselves sometimes.
Hilarious. Great work! : )
Wow...that is all I got...Wow!
p.s. you are amazing!!
I teach Shakespeare for a living, and back in his day, horns--or any horned animals--symbolized that the guy's wife was cheating on him. No man in his right mind would have put a deer on his wedding cake, had they had wedding cakes!
For Rebecca: "not that there's anything wrong with that" is a Seinfeld reference. So it's tongue-in-cheek butt covering. Which sounds like quite the feat.
ok, I would NEVER have a deer on my wedding cake...But the first cake is actually pretty...in an odd sort of way. But the last one it beyond horrible. None of it goes together I'm kind of lost as to why there is a deer on the cake...and beyond that you can see the cake through the flippin icing!! But as a true southern girl, who has the most back woods husband of all, I will not be showing him this post like I normally do, because I don't want him getting ideas.
I think the hoof-thing it kinda neat, I thought it was a shoe at first though. XD I was a bit confused when I saw an antler in it as well...
While a bit, um tacky, I guess, I was actually somewhat impressed with the quality of decorating on some of the redneck cakes. The one with the truck, and the first one with the deer, despite their themes, were actually very nicely done.