And Now for Something Completely Different
July 15, 2008 [through intercom, with British accent] “Ms. Jones, could you come in here, please?”
- door opens and closes -
“Yes, Mr. Reynaldo?”
“Ms. Jones, about that cake in the conference room…”
“Yes, sir?”
“I’m not sure it’s entirely appropriate for the board meeting.”
“I did make sure it said ‘Mr. Reynaldo’ on it, and not ‘Nigel’, sir.”
“Yes. No, I do appreciate that. But, ah, about the photo on it…”
“Don’t you like it, sir?”
“I’m sure it’s quite nice, Ms. Jones, but who is it?”
“I don’t quite know, sir. Why do you ask?”
[pause]
“Ms. Jones, I’m not gay, you know, I’m British.”
“Really? Are you sure, sir?”
“’Course I’m bloody sure!”
“Sorry, sir. It’s so hard to tell the difference, you know.”
“I’m sodding married!”
“Yes, but Mrs. Reynaldo won’t be attending the board meeting, sir.”
[brightening] “Oh, really? Well, alright then. Carry on, Ms. Jones, carry on.”
(Why? Three reasons: because I doubt I’ll ever find a cake with a dead parrot on it, I think “Nigel Reynaldo” would be the awesomest name ever, and for my new friend Anthony, of “Oh, you’re British? I thought you were just gay” fame.)
Reader Comments (24)
What amuses me most about your commentary is that the man in the photo is so very clearly NOT British, it's crazy.
That cake is the reason "edible printing" should be abolished. Stuff like that can result.
You certainly have a...um...vivid imagination! :-P
Your writing style cracks me up! I know I can always count on you to lighten my day. It's just so amazing to me what people put on cakes. I had no idea there was a whole genre of bad cakes. Here's a toast to bad cake decorators everywhere: May you live long and prosper so the rest of us can laugh at your expense.
your blog is so fun to read. the pictures and commentary had me laughing the whole time I was reading past posts! Who knew that cakes could be so awful yet so amusing?
I hope you don't mind I posted about your blog on my own blog. I couldn't resist sharing this gem!
OMG, you crack me up!
The photo is of international football player Cristiano Ronaldo. As I assume you're American from the British=gay joke, this is the sport you know as soccer.
Cool blog, by the way.
Yeah, really. If you know who it is a photo of it makes a bit more sense as sort of an inside joke on this Mr. Reynaldo character.
The funniest thing about this cake is that the photo is of pretty boy soccer star Christiano Ronaldo and they misspelled his name! LOL!
i'm assuming that the birthday boy has the last name Reynaldo and they connected that with Cristiano Renaldo, the soccer player pictured.
i'm not going to attack you like 'j', as i'm also an american who doesn't give a shit about soccer, but maybe this background info will help you understand the cake a little more (never thought i'd 'help someone understand a cake' before).
That's a famous football (soccer) player- Cristiano Ronaldo.
The funny thing is that if Mr.Reynaldo was british he would know Cristiano Ronaldo for sure, since he plays in UK!
Oh if you only knew how much I loathe this Manchester United striker after his elitist display during the World Cup. Every time he strikes a goal, my stomach turns. Gay? That's only the beginning...
Caption Contest: "I get the abs!"
HA HA they can't even spell ronaldo's name.
it would have been better if the pic showed ronaldo crying though (something the poor chap does frequently).
this blog is hilarious.
I seriously enjoy the cake wrecks, but this dialogue is hysterical, had me in tears and laughing so hard there was no sound...thank you. I needed that.
Given what looks like a partially healed scar on the side of the guy on the cake I had assumed that he was the victim of one of those all-too-frequent Motel room kidney removals.
I guess being a reviled international football star is close enough.
I heard ur blog from my landlady's daughter. I m an ameteur patisserist. She sent me ur blog for some new idea lol.
I love ur blog but this one really cracks me up.
Did anybody else hear Carol Cleveland and Graham Chapman while reading it?
You see, you make jokes like this, then wonder why other countries make jokes about you being stupid. :p
but, now you DO have a cake with a dead bird on it! granted, it's not a parrot...you posted that poe cake a few days ago, right?
I would almost be offended by the "Brits are gay" remark if:
1) your blog hadn't already reduced me to tears of laughter on more than many occassions
2) I didn't totally love you because you reference Monty Python, and not to mention Douglas Adams (both of which are English, of course)
3) I didn't also think that the English accent is pretty darn gay.
;P
When I want beefcake,
I always circle him with
blue glowy frosted stars.
wv: prenda
We're just going to prenda I didn't say that.
Wait... "I'm not gay, I'm just British"... Didn't that originate from Yu-Gi-Oh! the abridged series? XD
Is anyone else imagining Leonard Rossiter and Frances de la Tour reciting that dialogue? Maybe it’s just me, thanks to the Miss Jones thing.