Turkeys
November 21, 2008 With Thanksgiving approaching, bakeries across the nation are churning out turkeys just as fast as they can.
Er, turkey cakes, I mean. Yeah.
I'm not sure who is more confused: me or the decorator who made this:
First I see a weird smiley face whose hair is on fire. Then I see... no, wait - sorry, that's all I see.
Despite the fact that these look like electrified squirrels with blazing tails, they're actually sort of cute. In a frantic, somebody-get-me-a-bucket-of-water kind of way, I mean.
Of course, then there's the turkey who's already been extinguished [smirk]:
(That's a brownie, not a cake. Pretty soon bakeries are going to start "decorating" our loaves of bread, if we're not careful.)
Unless you're eating at a restaurant at the end of the universe, I'm pretty sure your food should never talk to you - much less advocate your imbibing its flesh. Yech.
Then again:
Maybe it's worse when the thing is pleading with you NOT to eat it.
"Thing" being the operative word here, since this looks like the result of craft time at the local preschool. All it's missing is a construction paper hand-tracing for a tail, and maybe a bunch of glitter.
(Hey, now, put that glitter down, Wreckerators; I didn't mean to give you any ideas!)
Thanks to Jessi W., Jocelyn M., Delielah R., and Bonnie B.!
Reader Comments (143)
the first one looks like a smiling potato that is on fire!
What is the first one supposed to be? The Thanksgiving weine?
The second is hilarious with the squirrels.
The talking poo cake is doubly creepy because the brownies have a face.
The third, well I'm glad cupcakes are just starting to catch on here. I saw a tree full Christmas ones today.
wvotd...lukent: "lukent wa I daycorated Goober"
I was just introduced to your blog yesterday, and I have to say it has made my time at work more enjoyable! I will be sure to carry my camera with me at all times when I go grocery shopping! Thanks for the laughs...
The first one: I think the curved yellow line was supposed to indicate the neck curve, but the decorator didn't understand what it was supposed to be and put the beak and eyes in the wrong place (and too big).
To me, the first one looks like a jacket potato with two fillings (beans and cheese). On legs, with a face. Perhaps I've been in the UK too long.
Oh my god! Mr. Potato Head caught on fire! Someone get the extinguisher...
*snort*
The first one looked like a potato...maybe that's the baked potato cake.
The "eat me" one is just wrong in more ways than one ROFL
I was at the Bullseye store yesterday, and my heart was hurting because I didn't have my camera with me, nor did I want to put out $19 for a Turkey CCC just so I could take a picture of it.
DH on the other hand thought the Turkey CCC was NOT a wreck and quite cute - and then had the nerve to call me uppity because I wanted to send a picture to your amazing blog! I'm filing for divorce first thing Monday. ;)
S'pose anyone's ever tried to make a turducken out of a cake? Now that would be the most disgusting thing ever. The actual turducken is gross enough...I envision it having 3 heads.
I think when you place a big pile of icing poo on a brownie and dress it up like a toxically flatulant turkey, you're required to write "eat me" on it. Otherwise, people might suspect your intent was the opposite. Besides, it comes off nicely as a dare at that point. :)
"May I urge you, sir, to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."
I was thrilled to see the Dalek cakes too! My God! I laughed until I cried! Great blog!
I like how the first turkey's beak looks like a Play button--it made me think the turkey might be ugly AND animatronic.
"electrified squirrels with blazing tails" = LMAO. They DO look like the end result of an encounter with an exposed power line.
Get rid of the stupid smile on the first cake and I think it would be cute.
Okay, I personally think that the first one looks more like a person with a Native American Headdress on...that is sort of fitting for Thanksgiving right??
I don't want this to come across wrong, but I love what a nerd you are! First you reference Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen, now Douglas Adams? All that combined with (frequently badly decorated) cake? Oh yeah that's why this is my favorite blog.
I'd be quite impressed if one of my friends made the first one, but not by the professional baker who charged for it.
I think we need a Top Ten Things Cake Decorators Should Know list for Cake Wrecks. The list should include:
* It's spelled "Congratulations"
* Big brown blobs of icing just end up looking like poo.
* Quotation marks are for quoting
* If it could possibly be interpreted as looking like a penis, don't put it on the cake.
the first one kind of reminds me of the way I used to draw turkeys when I was a little kid.
I m looking forward to next update!
I wonder whether the flaming squirrel cake was the result of a decorator knowingly finishing a cake wreck because they had already put in so much work and were essentially committed to seeing it through. That's really the only way it makes sense.
Word verification: barjtqdh - where the decorators went before/after finishing these cakes and what they sounded like when they got there.
I think there should be a new category of labeling cakes - Cute in an Ugly Kinda Way - to describe cakes like the Smiley faced Turkey and the Corn Cob from the other day.
I am supremely offended that you would call that last cake a preschool art project. I teach 4 and 5 year olds and we have NEVER made somethings that looks that awful! Come to thnk of it, the two-year-olds down that hall haven't either!!
I dunno, I think all but the last one have a certain charm. I think though that generations of hand-turkeys create a sense of artistic forgiveness when it comes to turkeys
A++ with the Hitchhiker's reference!
I don't know why, but I love the "Eat Me" cake. It's cute!
I love all of these!
Adorable! Especially the first one!
Awww! I just love the baked potato one. Of course, that's because I love drawings made by five year olds.
(I'm just going with that, and I don't want to hear that anyone over five had anything to do with it. : ) )
The "eat me" turkey looks like a soft turd complete with stink lines. yum!
OMG - I LOLed til I cried. My stomach hurts and the dog and my daughter are both concerned for my health and well-being.
I saw a cupcake "cake" yesterday - will try and get a photo of it tomorrow - it was a scary-looking turkey, but not as scary as these.
Thanks for the Doug Adams reference. Absurdists literature next to absurd cakes - fits well.
On that first one...I actually see a smiley face potato with his/her hair on fire. Definitely don't see a turkey. Nope.
I laughed so hard...I almost cried!
I just have to say this:
Today is the first time I've been to this blog. At first, I just bounced around. The horror took over and I began seriously click every "older posts" I came too. I must draw the line for today at this one. The overload has caused me to go into a fit of laughter that I couldn't stop, brought tears to my eyes, caused me to choke on my coffee, and had my daughter calling from the bathroom, "Mom, are you alright? Are you SURE you're o-kay?!! WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!!!"
See you again tomorrow!
My first note: The google eyes on the first one are staring into my soul! It's creepy!
My second note: HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY LOVERS UNITE! Towels by our sides, we will go out into the world to prove once and for all that we are more than Mostly Harmless!
My last note: That brownie looks like it has a pile of poo on it. QUIT THE OVER-USE OF BROWN ICING!
That first one is definitely a flaming (or flamboyant) potato. The "smile" is too centered and so are the eyes for that smile to be a wing or neck.
someone mentioned "turducken"--that's just cruelty to dead animals! ugh! the fact that "turd" is in the title says it all!
which brings me to the stinky poo pile with googly eyes brownie that says "eat me." Is this an insult cake? the fact that it looks like stinky poo and that it says "eat me" could really mean "eat sh--" no? (pardon the vulgarity!)
"toxically flatulant"--LOL
and to claim the electrified flaming squirrels are poorly executed. that sounds a little redundant--look at the formal posturing. maybe they ARE being executed by electricfication at the altar of the Great Pumpkin! poor little things....
WV "rivanati"--the act of skinny dipping in a stream. "river naughty"
The first one reminds me of the Ice cream potato that Sandra Lee made. On fire, but clearly enjoying it.
Brenna H
The first one reminds me of the baked potato ice cream cake that Sandra Lee did. Just on fire. And clearly enjoying it.
PS: What's the deal with making cakes into animals? At least they haven't invented turkey flavored icing . . .yet.
That last turkey is also missing some uncooked macaroni noodles. :)
Long time reader, first time writer. I seriously think the second one looks like the ending scene from the Dark Crystal.
Meghan the Smith
Haha ...the brownie "cake." Hilarious. xx
What a great collection, although I'm not sure that I'd want a few of those in my mouth...
http://www.matboard.org" rel="nofollow"> Mat Board
I'm actually reading The Restaurant at the end of the universe. I agree that your food should not talk to you unless you are eating there.
Mwahahahahaha! As a TA at my local Head Start I found the glitter comment HILARIOUS, I never come home without glitter somewhere on my clothes, face, and/or hair.
Very large and flaming beans
And ugly tiered cakes
Are not very "Thanksgiving."