Turkeys
November 21, 2008 With Thanksgiving approaching, bakeries across the nation are churning out turkeys just as fast as they can.
Er, turkey cakes, I mean. Yeah.
I'm not sure who is more confused: me or the decorator who made this:
First I see a weird smiley face whose hair is on fire. Then I see... no, wait - sorry, that's all I see.
Despite the fact that these look like electrified squirrels with blazing tails, they're actually sort of cute. In a frantic, somebody-get-me-a-bucket-of-water kind of way, I mean.
Of course, then there's the turkey who's already been extinguished [smirk]:
(That's a brownie, not a cake. Pretty soon bakeries are going to start "decorating" our loaves of bread, if we're not careful.)
Unless you're eating at a restaurant at the end of the universe, I'm pretty sure your food should never talk to you - much less advocate your imbibing its flesh. Yech.
Then again:
Maybe it's worse when the thing is pleading with you NOT to eat it.
"Thing" being the operative word here, since this looks like the result of craft time at the local preschool. All it's missing is a construction paper hand-tracing for a tail, and maybe a bunch of glitter.
(Hey, now, put that glitter down, Wreckerators; I didn't mean to give you any ideas!)
Thanks to Jessi W., Jocelyn M., Delielah R., and Bonnie B.!
Reader Comments (143)
Love the reference to "MilliWays At The End of the Galaxy" and the earlier reference to "Dr. Who"!
The cake with the "pumpkin orb" and flaming tail squirrels looks like it came from MilliWays too.
Of course "Eat Me" being the Addams Family reference from the fantastic scene where Puggsley sings and dances as a Turkey in the fall pagent.
Ooo, your blog is for Sci Fi WreckPorters too! Love it!
Ummm... they forgot the CAKE part of the cake on the last one. Didn't they? Or is that brown blob of icing supposed to have a sliver of cake inside?
Hmmmm, how much would you pay for a blob of "shaped" icing?
I totally saw a flaming Mr. Potato Head too! The heat lines on the "Eat me!" cake also look strikingly similar to stink lines... are you sure that one isn't left over from Canadian thanksgiving?? Ewww.
Ew. Is there actually any CAKE in that last one or is it just a pile of poo-brown icing?
I made a cake for DH's office party today and almost chose electrified squirrels, but decided that they probably wouldn't last the car trip. Now that I see what I narrowly avoided, I'm glad my reputation will stay intact.
That first "turkey" made my day. I laughed out loud, which is usually good...but it's a problem when you're in class haha
much less advocate your imbibing on its flesh
imbibe = drink. So unless you're intending to liquefy the turkey, you can't do that. ;) (Oh, and the 'on' is superfluous.)
I must admit, I sort of love the 'eat me' turkey, but mostly because I think it would gross others out but not bother me. Of course, I also used to name my hamburgers right before biting into them and saying "mmmm" to mess with people, so that probably indicates that something is wrong with me.
The first and last cakes were definitely designed kindergarten flunkies and the flaming squirrel cake is bizarrely formal (not to mention poorly executed).
Okay. I burst out loud in laughter when I saw the one without the tail feathers and the little "Fume" lines around it. Were you all thinking what I was? That maybe that bird had some "flammable gas incident" that left him featherless and charred. Poor thing..... shouldn't have stuffed himself with burritos.
"Unless you're eating at a restaurant at the end of the universe, I'm pretty sure your food should never talk to you - much less advocate your imbibing on its flesh. Yech."
I... I think I love you...
(LOL And my captcha for this comment is "mania"... how fitting for these awful wrecks!)
As wrecktastic as those are, they would have actually been funny if the inscription said "Bite Me" instead
Is the "Eat Me" thingy not really made of doggy poopy? Don't lie, it's out right, we need to know the truth. >_<
I thought the first on was a perfect potato with flaming hair, a face and legs. And those "squirrels" do look like ROUSes with flaming tails. Maybe the decorator was into The Princess Bride?
"Unless you're eating at a restaurant at the end of the universe, I'm pretty sure your food should never talk to you - much less advocate your imbibing on its flesh. Yech."
Oh. It's a http://suicidefood.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">whole thing.
I think the first one looks like a potato.
42!!! Now, if you can make a Piers Anthony reference, I'll be AMAZED!
Frodo Lives
hahahahaha....electrififed squirrels? hahahah
that cake actually made me feel like I was in ancient Greece paying tribute to the some pumpkin god at an altar columned with...electrified squirrels
...gross.
And, I laughed OUT LOUD at the sly comment about decorators decorating our loaves of bread soon if we're not careful ...hahahahah !
who are you?!?!?!? your comic timing is spot on...every time.
SO funny!
I have GOT to stop trying to drink my coffee and read this at the same time. OMG! The electrified squirrels and the "cooked" turkey!!!!
"Eat me" has me totally freaked out. I mean, with that head and the dialogue, I'm not sure if that thing is cooked or alive or, even worse, both! Definitely creepy!
It took me 5 minutes to figure out that what I saw as a pink ball of yarn with blue strings hanging from it on the second cake was indeed a pumpkin.
Very "Wicker Man".
Silly me--I thought it was the Thanksgiving version of Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Flaming Potato Head.....
The first cakewrecker baker needs to go back to school or something.
THE BEAK IS THE MOUTH. IT DOESN'T HAVE A BEAK AND A MOUTH.
I LOVE getting the giggles when I read your blog! It really makes my day!
You read Douglas Adams! Now I really love you!
-Julie
I have a strange desire to make an electrified squirrel plushie...
Mr Potato Head!
okay I think the little "smiley mouth" below the beak on the first one is actually supposed to be a wing.....I think....
I agree with Brianna--the first one looks more turkey-like if you think of the smile as a wing. Of course, that's assuming the torso can rotated independently of the head/feet...
I wonder if Milliways at the end of the universe has turkey, or if they've only ever bothered to breed a cow that wished nothing more than to be slaughtered?
Stop, Drop, and roll Mr. Potato head!!
Now I see why pie is so popular for Thanksgiving.
The first one looks like a happy potato... With some feathers...
OMG - I love the flaming squirrels but the Hitchhiker's reference about talking food was really the funniest part of this posting. :)
That first one kinda looked like a baked potato with orange and yellow around it!
On that first cake, the decorator seems to have mistaken the turkey's beak for his nose and given him an extra mouth so he can smile.
How sweet.
Why are you hating on the first one? It's SO clearly the MacGyver Mr. Potatohead running out of an exploded building he was being held captive in. Thanksgiving is not until next week. It's MacGyver Mr. Potatohead appreciation day every day.
I would be very happy with Turkey No. 1. He's got style...
The brownie Turkey looks much more to me like some sickeningly racist cartoon from the 1940s.
Oh god. What does that say about me...
No, no, Mr. Potato Head isn't aflame. He's wearing one of those retro 'fros from the 1970s, and he's painted it in fall colors to celebrate the season.
I just want to stick a fork in him and see if he's done.
Word verification: reepyr. Yeah, some of these cakes are reepyr than others.
Euhhh...that first one is like Mr. Potato head on fire with a beauty mark.
Nice!
The, um, "spread-turkey" EAT ME brownie has sped past unintentional innuendo and taken the fast-track to dirty-minded suggestion. It recalls the worst line of dialogue in the most disconcerting context of the most jaw-droppingly terrible movie ever: when J.Lo in Gigli says "Gobble Gobble!"
That first one is Mr. Potato Head wearing a clown wig. Duh.
That first one looks like something horrible happened to Mr. Potato Head. (sorry if someone already made that comparison, I didn't read the comments that closely)
Oh, the first one is great!
It truly looks like it was drawn by a first grader.
Please someone tell me that they took a kids drawing and this is a special cake for that kid.
Please?
The first one looks like a baked potato on a flaming grill. Are these seriously professional decorators? Because they stink at their jobs!!! Go back to school and learn how to decorate a cake. Jeez, man.
I've always loved you for your cakes, but now I love you for your Milliways reference!
(and I just read the previous entry while eating lunch and actually choked about the moldy frosting and decapitated clown heads.)
the first one looks like an overcooked mr. potato head!
Ummm..why does the first one have both a beak and a mouth...I'm a little weirded out.
That last one looks like it's wearing a corsage. Fancy.
Ha! I just love what a geek you are. Every time you make references to "Doctor Who" or "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" it makes my heart smile. Thanks!
My boyfriend's mother loves to frost brownies, especially with a McDonald's restroom green-colored icing. It's too much!
I tried to make a turkey cake once, it was horrible looking.