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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov182008

Supermom VS the Diabolical Decorator of Doom

And now it's time for another installment of.... SUPERMOM!!

[Duh da daaa! Da da da ta da DAAAA!]

This week, Supermom plans out little Annie's birthday party.

Annie: "Wow, Supermom, my birthday decorations look fantastic! This is going to be the coolest Wizard of Oz party EVER!"


Supermom: "Oh, it was nothing, really. After I finished all of the laundry, balanced the checkbook, and then reworked my dissertation on the ending of world hunger, I had plenty of time!"

Annie: "Oh, wow, are those cookies for the party, too?"


Supermom: "They sure are! It took four days, and I had to stay up all night hand-piping the little rainbows, but all that time and effort were well worth seeing the smile on your darling face. And just wait 'til you see the great Yellow Brick Road cake I ordered! Your father should be here with it any minute..."

Meanwhile, at the Bakery of Badness:

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: "What's this? Supermom has ordered a Wizard of Oz birthday cake for her daughter? Hee-hee! Oh, this is too perfect! Finally, revenge will be MINE!!!"

Diabolical Sidekick: "What will you do, oh Great Bastion of Badness? Oh Foul Foiler of Fondant? Oh Illustrious Icer of Ickines, Dastardly Decorator of Destruction, and Cruel Crafter of..."

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [interrupting] "Do shut up, Sidekick; I'm trying to think."

Diabolical Sidekick: "A thousand apologies, Oh Putrescent Purveyor of Pastries!"

Diabolical Decorator of Doom: [rubbing hands together] "Now, the trick is to make something so vile, so heinous, that no one will ever, EVER think it is a yellow brick road with a rainbow over it. But how? What tool in my arsenal is capable of such complete and utter hideousness?

"AHA! I've got it! Diabolical Sidekick, fetch me the Airbrush of Atrocity!"

Later, back at the party:


[Silence]

Annie: [sobbing] "My Yellow Brick Road cake! It looks like an old squished banana! And why does it dead end in a river? And is THAT supposed to be a rainbow?!?"

Supermom: "Never fear, dear daughter: Supermom is here! Now be a good girl and hand Mommy her piping bags."

So Supermom (aka Amanda S.) re-frosted the cake at home, thus foiling the evil plans of the Diabolical Decorator of Doom and saving the day. (You can see she's already begun piping over the "road" in the photo there.) Good work, Supermom! Score another one for truth, justice, and sugary-baked goods for all!

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Reader Comments (184)

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Somewhere L. Frank Baum is weeping uncontrolably into his Aether Flakes over this one.

But with a Winkie and a nod of her head, Supermom saved the day!

(Yeah, I know it's the movie version, but I'm a book purist and just had to fit in a couple of extra-obscure jabs in case there's someone else out there who prefers the version where it ISN'T all a kooky dream...but wishes this cake was one)

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

Why is there a naked kid in the photo, top right corner? Not good cake decorating hygene!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nonni, thanks for the update. Supermom deserves a week at a spa for throwing Annie such an awesome party! I'm definitely voting for a fixed cake pic!
BTW, I used to work at a bakery where our decorator made some beauties that were almost too good to eat! She had a yellow brick road cake request, and even threw in some glittery fondant shoes(alas, no pics)... but Dad came in & was furious! He wanted the cake to look like a brick wall but in yellow(?!?) People are just weird, I guess...

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChaos

Jen, you outdid yourself on the storyline. I love it! I didn't even care about the cake.

Word Verification: Urial
Mithspelling for urinal.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim and Garret

You know, I actually thought the "yellow brick road" looked kind of like The Cheat from Homestar Runner - maybe some sort of The Cheat pelt...

I should seriously not be reading this in the back of class- I almost cracked up with laughter! That thing looks like it rotted and died!

Can we please see what it looked like after she fixed it?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyperbole Girl

First of all, that's for the next Disney movie preview! Bad cake, awesome story, super mom, happy ending! :)

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter~Amy

I want to see the repaired version too!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

Since everyone is leaving the first thing that came to their mind, let me include mine as well:

WTF?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRach

I think what I love most is that Supermom *stopped* fixing the cake to take a photo for Cake Wrecks. Now that's a wreckporter if I ever saw one!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

it looks like lots of little people exploded all over the road.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyhomemaker

Well, all else aside, the white swirly border and penmanship of "Happy Birthday" are pretty. For once the person doing the writing is much more talented than the person doing the decorating!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am thinking that the 'decorator' frosted the 'yellow brick road' and then opted to airbrush in footprints (like of the merry band traipsing down to the Emerald City) and the 'footprints' bled. Bad concept by a 'decorator' that doesn't understand humidity issues or mixing media w/o testing.
That cake is overall rather bland looking. :(
I hope Annie had a great birthday anyway!
Wendy

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwendl26

Yowza... My sister is a huge wizard of oz fan... and if I ever bought her a cake that looked like that I would my butt handed to me on a platter... it might end up looking somthing like what the have going on on the top of that cake... Flat, Moldy, and speckled with ... what the heck is that stuff?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

Well, Happy Birthday Annie is spelled correctly, and it is nice writing...at least they got SOMETHING right.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJade

It's me..Nonni to the cake again. Just wanted to set a few things straight !!! The cookies weren't stored in the bathroom. The paper towel holder is one of those chrome kind. And the baby girl isn't naked on the counter causing anything to be unsanitary it just looks that way. So nothing unclean going on but she did want to watch what was going on with the cake.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternonni

I hope she got her money back! That is hideous!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Can we see the new cake?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Don't tease us, the Nonni. Break out the after shots!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Wow. That's what happens when you send Dad to pick things up from the store. No way would Supermom have brought that thing home without a fight.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah L

I've been following this blog for a few weeks now and would like to thank you; it has encouraged me to never ever order a grocery store bakery cake!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlisha

If you had not said it was a Wizard of Oz theme, I would have been scratching my head while trying to figure out what on earth the cake was supposed to be. Wow, horrible!

Can we get a picture of the cake after Supermom helped out?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

Your story cracked me up. Way to go, Supermom! I never would have thought to refrost the cake myself, but then I never could have made cookies that cool, either.

(What is up with the verification words? Wawbress?)

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

I would have told the kid, forget about having cake, then taken it back to the bakery, set it down right in front of the door and set it on fire. But I once threw a malfunctioning fax maching off the balconey, so maybe I have 'issues' about this kind of thing...

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

Seeing as I am from Oregon, my first thought was "Why did they put a giant banana slug on this cake?" Seriously, what is wrong with people? Annie, I hope you had a good birthday, and your mom really is Supermom for maintaining her sanity long enough to fix the cake, rather than *ahem* 'fixing' the bakery decorator.

Word verification "Plodsic". Yep, that cake is just that.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCirrus

I'm glad you explained about the repiping. I thought that might be a fist on the verge of road demolition.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterquinn

I keep trying to figure out what all those white dots are: from the "rainbow" to the "road"; then along the "river." I assume the green blobs are supposed to be trees or hedges of some kind but if so, why put a white dot on top of each of them?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did they really make her pay for this? And can we see what it looked like after it was fixed by mom?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Jen - Your alliteration in the Diabolical Sidekick bit was awesome! The build up was fantastic! You outdid yourself.

Sarah

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I want to add my request to see the final cake too!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

"FOLLOW THE LEOPARD SPOT ROAD..."

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertony a.k.a. isweatbutter

I was wondering why a leopard-print whatever was doing on a horribly airbrushed cake. And Happy Birthday Annie was spelled correctly and no quotation marks were used.
I really don't understand the theme of that cake at all. And Supermom's cookies were ADORABLE!!!

My word verification: forke. Which is what you'd use to eat this thing, I hope it tasted okay.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaliGirl9

Dude, the rainbow is upside down!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrazyKwilter

While I wouldn't mind seeing the repaired cake, what I REALLY want to see is a picture of Supermom's face when she opened that cake box!

P.S. - I think naked kid in the corner is cute! That's just how little ones are!!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

I want to see the finished product! YAY for SuperMoms!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is where you go if you click your Payless penny loafers together three times.

Haha, that is hillarious! I can't believe they would send that away looking like that!

Good Job Supermom!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

You know this really makes me NOT wanna order a cake... Seriously, what does it take for a cake decorator to just THROW out a mistake cake... maybe take the cut outta their pay for every BAAD CAKE.... UG!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertrying4two99

WOW.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSolaMommy

Geez. Mouldered Banana Road would be more appropriate. How in the world?? What was that decorator thinking? Or was he/she?
Wait...I'll bet the decorator
1. Never saw Wizard of Oz
2. Hates the movie so bad that he takes it out on children's birthday cakes!

~Amy B

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I'm surprised at those that don't know right from left. Cute lil naked baby is in the left of the photo.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yellow brick road = giraffe neck....

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Looks more like a headless giraffe. Probably caused by the tornado.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJane!

As a card-carrying member of the Puget Sound Dwellers Society, I can tell you with some authority that that there is not a squashed banana ... THAT, my friends, is a bona fide Banana Slug.

See also: Ewwww.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJan

I hope and PRAY that she did not plunk down cash nor credit nor debit for that, that.....that....vile "thing." To Supermom...I'm so horribly sorry! It looks like your "redec" was going to be wildly successful.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoodleBunz

You have a wonderful imagination!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCellar Door

Ha! I love your dialogue! It cracks me up....

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea Frederick

First off, just want to say I love your blog...long time reader, first time commentor. Its posts like this that make me laugh out loud...and that is rare. Thanks for filling my work days with hard-to-suppress laughter!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJudas_Iscariot_79

Oh Supermom, please send in a photo of how the cake looked after you fixed it!

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteriamhoey

Someone actually made that for a child? They ought to be ashamed! I hope that Supermom got it for free & was able to fix it. What did the final outcome look like?

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

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