A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
November 19, 2008 The mom-to-be was having triplets, so they ordered a cake with "congratulations" written on it three times:
Nice.
On the other end of the spectrum, all they asked for here was "congratulations". Unfortunately the decorator took that to be plural...
Aaand much hilarity ensued.
Melanie U. and Wedge C., er, well done.
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Reader Comments (76)
On the first cake, I think they might be better off with what they got. It would be a crap shoot to see if the decorator could correctly spell Congratulations three times in a row.
First? First? First?
Three times!
How could one mistake "congratulations" for plural "congratulation"? >_<
Lauren
Well, I'd say three times is a charm, but...
There is just no excuse for the second cake. I used to think such stupidity didn't exist in the world, but Jen proves everyday that 1) IT DOES! and 2) It is a lucrative business.
Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com
What I have learned from Cakewrecks: always order cakes in person and write down exactly what you want it to say on a piece of paper and give it to them. Another thing I learned from Cakewrecks: There are cake decorators out there who would still screw it up.
LOL. I guess this goes to show... never take anything for granted when asking for your cake caption. At least they got to laugh about it!
I'm really dismayed by the second cake. I don't know whether to be more disappointed by the words or the design.
Are we sure it's not supposed to read "Congratulations Times Three"? That would make more sense.
I am absolutely amazed at how difficult it appears to write in a straight line. It just amazes me how crooked everything is.
When I saw those, I couldn't help thinking of those old console games where you got "Congraturation!" for winning. And that in turn made me think of Strong Bad, so everything's good.
What is up with the black? Who wants black decorations on a cake. Spelling congratulations would be a great way to start.
And are those three blobs on either side of the writing supposed to be the three fertilized eggs? Because, that's what they make me think of.
That second cake is just fugly.
I love your blog! I just introduced my daughter to Cake Wrecks yesterday, and let me tell you, we laughed ourselves to tears! What really makes it hilarious is your commentary. Your brand of humor is very similar to our own. It's amazing that these "wrecks" happen so often! If only everyone read your blog!
What's with the black frosting? "Congratulations on your death!" Come on.
And what have we learned today children? That's RIGHT! NEVER order a cake over the phone.
Ha!
Are those supposed to be ceremonial sperm on the first cake?
Wrong on all levels. Just plain wrong.
Jeez, that first cake is a choking hazard!
Holy Cow, there are some literal cake decorators out there on auto pilot.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
In response to judas_iscariot_79 "Another thing I learned from Cakewrecks: There are cake decorators out there who would still screw it up."
What I have learned from cakewrecks is that many people who are being paid to be cake decorators are not in fact cake decorators. Thank God the screening process for, jobs like ,..... oh say,....BOMB DISABLER, or you know, the like...appears to be a little more thorough.
That second cake...my first thought was, "Are these decorators really that stupid?" then I realized that "Big Box" decorators get $8 an hour and don't care!!
The second one is now one of my new faves... not only for the duplicate "congratulation" but also for the crappy icing work in general!
Liz
http://eternallizdom.blogspot.com
HIGH FIVES to Anonymous at 10:02 for ceremonial sperm. Genius is born on this site all day long.
Too funny ! Congratulations three times means six balloons?? Is that symmetry math?? And I don't think it is black icing. Looks more like dark chocolate syrup. Our Scrabble dictionary allows CONGRATS or CONGRATULATIONS. No such word without the S. Too, too funny. Wonder what we are celebrating.
One of the local high schools when I was growing up had black and white as colors -- a graduation cake might well have been black and white.
(At least you can kind of pretend 'Congratulations Three Times!' was intentional, as opposed to some of the other overly literal inscriptions.)
I think even if you drew some decorators a picture they'd screw it up. I have a secret fantasy about being a decorator and making screwed up cakes so that someone will send them to cake wrecks.
wfcotd: kylatic: is a form of seizure that occurs after eating too much black icing. "The grannies went into kylatic seizures after eating my Fathers birthday cake last year."
Oh my! Thank the Lord for my local bakery.
What could you be "congratulation" about with black icing?
This site makes me feel soooo smart. It is really good for your self esteem.
I love your website! Last year for Christmas I made a Christmas tree cake by layering a cake in smaller squares. It was about 7 layers. I put a few wooden skewers in the center to hold it together. We traveled 30 miles to my mom's house with it on my lap. I had frosting all over my coat and my hands trying to keep it together. We set it up on the counter and then went outside for family pictures. When we came back in the cake and tipped over and fallen on the floor! I was devastated. Sorry no pic, but I am trying to laugh about it now.
Blech to the second - black frosting, ew!
There needs to be some kind of official Cake Decoration Union that requires that all cake decorators comprehend English before they're allowed to write on cakes. =p
Has anyone else ever noticed the directly proportional relationship between handwriting neatness and message fallacy? The messier the handwriting, the higher your chances that your message will be screwed up.
I don't know, I may be severely whacked out but I find the Congratulation, Congratulation inscription oddly charming.
Yes, it looks like hell. Yes, that black frosting is going to look unappetizing going in and ungodly coming out. Yes, that is a complete wreck of a cake. But there's something about the inscription itself that reminds me of those homemade cards I gave my parents before I learned to spell that makes me go 'awww' at the same time.
Speak not of spotty, bored, untrained young people marking time doing a job they hate for nearly nothing so they can have a little cash in their pockets to buy the latest first-person shooter game and a bit of weed. I prefer to think that somewhere in the back is a sincere - if slightly...okay, hugely inept - person who put heart and soul into producing something that sad for someone's party.
No, I'm not tearing up. There's just something in my eye.
Well, come on, if they actually had to write "congratulations" 3 times on that first cake, they would have had to, like, space it properly! Can't you see there's not room for "congratulations" on the next line down? :p
I don't wish to impugn an entire profession but... why is the cake decorating field so heavily populated by idiots who cannot grasp seemingly the most basic of instructions and concepts?
Can anyone representing the professional cake decorating industry answer this? Are you surrounded by sugar- and flour-encrusted dolts? Do the hiring requirements stop at a single working thumb?
This site, while entertaining, truly makes me weep for the future. No Child Left Behind Three Times!
How about 'Triple Congratulations?" Maybe it would've been easier on the decorator.
Actually, I wonder why the congratulation congratulation cake is black..again?
~Amy B.
OMG...silly friends...who does that??
In the second cake's defense, that's not black, it's brown (it was chocolate icing on an ice cream cake) and it was delicious.
But there was NO excuse for the writing.....
ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!
I especially love the comments by Kamity, Sara and Twistie. Man, their insights were GREAT! Especially Twistie:
"Speak not of spotty, bored, untrained young people marking time doing a job they hate for nearly nothing so they can have a little cash in their pockets to buy the latest first-person shooter game and a bit of weed"
BRILLANT & HILARIOUS & probably MUCH closer to the truth than we think!
This blog makes my day!
The scary part is that these people actually had to get in their car and drive to work - which means we're out on the road with these people all the time! Yikes!!!
I may be reaching here, but I have a suspicion that a great many of these "literal" cakes are decorated by non-English speaking immigrants. Something about the handwriting on some of them make me think of Asian women trying desperately to do the best job they can, for a crappy hourly paycheck, in a culture and language they barely grasp.
Which doesn't make the results any less wrecktastic, but does make me feel some pity for the decorators. Unless I'm wrong, in which case, they're just ijits.
Congratulations. Three times. That, that, that. Another Winner. Woo-Hoo.
Despite the error, I think the first cake actually works as worded.
The second cake is just bad all around.
Seriously, how are people like this in business? And how do people find them and actually order cakes from them? The mind, it boggles.
I too think the first cake still worked out okay.
But hey, congratulation to the mom-to-be!
I think they should be pleased with what the got. Congratulations is spelled correctly and the balloons are not penises. Although, as has been pointed out, they may be sperm or fertilized eggs.
My captcha is premorky, the state of something before someone morks it, e.g. by writing 'congertuladins' on it in black icing.
How sad. Hilarious, yes. But sad, too. kk
I averted a real cake wreck on Saturday. My friend was hosting a surprise 50th for her husband. She asked me to pick up the cake "at 5:10pm" which to me of course meant pick it up on the way to the party at 7pm. I got to the store and the (high-school aged, smoking while talking on his cell phone) clerk opened the walk-in cooler and said "we don't have it. It's probably at the other stop-n-shop. Did you check there first?"
No, of course I didn't go there first, you dumb***. I ended up needing to call my friend, and her husband answered, and I ALMOST ruined the surprise!
Silly boy, at my insistence, checked ALL the walkins in the bakery area and, of course, found it!
The cake was beautiful, by the way, and tasty too!
I believe at 5:10pm the actual decorator would still have been onsite. Live and learn I guess.
Pretty crummy penmanship too.
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
"Some people jus ain't got no sense!" Haha, okay I don't really talk like that but that's the first thing that came to mind when seeing these pics :-)
Wedge said In the second cake's defense, that's not black, it's brown (it was chocolate icing on an ice cream cake) and it was delicious.
That actually explains a lot. Whoever made that was getting paid a low hourly wage to scoop ice cream, and occasionally scribble on cakes, and probably had no training in cake decorating whatsoever.
To: "Stun bunny" - Okay here's the real industry answer to your question. I am a journeyman baker and a 30 year veteran cake decorator. Somewhere around 10 years ago the entire baking industry changed. All products in the major grocery bakery field became either pre-mix, premade or frozen product. So to put it all quite simply, the "Trade" part of it all died. You can hire anyone green off the street to place a frozen product on a pan and shove it in the oven. And so that is exactly what the industry has done. The got rid of, bought out, or fazed out all their experienced baking staff and started hiring...yep...pretty much anyone with a pulse at minimum wage. All of this of course included the cake decorators. All those eager faces that said....oooooh...I'd like to try that...finally got their chance. Did they have any experience? Nope. Any talent? Nope. Any ambition to make something of quality? Nope. So what did they have????? The willingness to work for minimum wage...oh and as I mentioned earlier....a pulse! Bottom line is that if you want a quality cake now you need to seek out those that left that field and are now working privately like, ....ahem,...ME! :D
I can't believe how dumb some of these cake makers are... Amelia Bedelia anyone?