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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Oct082008

A Barry Booty-full Cake

I've often said I want to be just like Dave Barry, only with ovaries. And as much as that statement may disturb my husband, the sentiment remains: DB is one of those writers who inspires stalker-like affection from yours truly. So, when Wreckporter Joyce W. alerted me to Dave's latest blog entry containing - oh yes - a cake, I put away my telephoto zoom lenses and super-spy microphones to do a little happy dance. Because this isn't just any cake: it's a wreckalicious confection rife with pun possibilities - or in other words, my favorite kind.

Behold the Behind!

According to Dave, this was for his son's birthday. According to this cake, Dave's son is something of an 'A' man, if ya knowuddamean. (And if not, don't ask.) Dave's readers seem to share my penchant for puns, too: the comments include cracks (oh! that one was unintentional!) about butt-cream frosting and speculation over whether the cake was Duncan Hiney, Betty Cracker, or perhaps purchased at Derriere Queen.

Personally, I'm kind of curious about the librarian heels, Monica Lewinsky hair, and anatomically impossible angle of the right ankle. I mean, I know strippers are supposed to be flexible, but rotating a knee cap 180 degrees? That's gotta be a rare talent.

What say you, readers? Do we give the buns a bum rap, or is all well that ends well in the end?

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Reader Comments (113)

Relax folks! Checking Dave Barry's wikipedia entry shows that is son is 28 this year. This cake was not for a young child or teenager. No "Happy 14th Birthday" repeat here.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchristi

The whole right leg is disturbing. It's rubbery, as though she only exercised the left leg (which is nice and beefy) and left the right leg to atrophy.

This is a cake for an A-man indeed, so it doesn't matter that the face looks like Dora the Explorer. I guess.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

Bottoms down on that one.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

You actually noticed the ankles and knees? LOL!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYvonne Perry

For all of you worried about a traumatized kid, IIRC Robert Barry is about my age, which would put him at least in his late twenties/early thirties.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbecca

Tacky tacky!!!!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type!!!

My first thought was that this was for another child, but thankfully not! There really is no end to bad taste.
Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkristin

This really cracks me up!!!
My kids too are in love with cakewrecks and they thought this was hilarious. they could not believe any one would want a piece of butt cake on their plate... ooohhh gross!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

The hair and the shoes indicate that someone from Jackie O's era decorated this.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDotC

I know this is being rather nit-picky, but as a dancer (ballet...not THAT kind...yeesh) I must say that you actually CAN get your feet turned out like that...it takes a lot of turning from the hip and really strong butt muscles, but it can be done...

And that cake is one of the tackiest things I've ever seen.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

That's some sexy cake! She'd never be able to hold onto a stripper pole with that ankle!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReal Live Lesbian

Wrecktastic - but I'm sure Rob found the cake to be... bootylicious.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFemaleclaws

Dave's son Rob was born in 1980... so yeah, I'd say he's "of age"... :)

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie and/or Braden

Well, at least the stripper's ON the cake instead of popping OUT of it!

I hafta say though, my "yea-or-nay" feelings on this particular confection depend on the age of said birthday boy. If he's around college age, then no problem; this is truly a crack-tacular culinary confection.

However, if he's younger than jr. high, that's just wrong (much like the Grand Theft Auto cake for 4-year-old "Lil Derrick").

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKari Ann

With the big butt aqnd all the swirlies going on, I thought the "artist" was decorating a cake in the style of Austrian nouveau artist Gustav Klimt (http://www.topofart.com/images/artists/Gustav_Klimt/paintings/klimt007.jpg" REL="nofollow">see this example ).

Which brings to mind how incredibly well Klimt's work would adapt to a cake (http://www.foodtv.ca/blog/photos/catherine_jheon/images/1631/original.aspx" REL="nofollow">like this one

http://www.pinkcakebox.com/images/cake603.jpg" REL="nofollow">and this one).

Unfortunately, this wreck isn't it. This is just hilarious. Two things: (1) THE SHOES!!!! and (2, and someone else mentioned this) the girl's disturbing resemblance to Dora the Explorer.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMetalNoir

To Stephanie: Cool 411 Steph, (May I call you Steph?)
Hey Jen your famous now!Maybe even as famous as your hero Dave Barry?

So I guess there is no excuse not to make those calendars now, eh, Jen?

Anywho! That cake looks like a well- defined cookie to me. It's not thick enough. (Yes, even for a cake that feature the female posteria.) As for the rest....

There were legs bent crooked? Sorry didn't notice, must be behind the rest in seeing the legs. LOL

Peace,
Clueuin

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterclueuin

Is that woman wearing a wig or her hair just teased to Tower of Babel-like heights? Hard to tell from the angle, butt I must say this cheeky image could have been worse than what was asspired to - it could have turned into a NSFW redo of those baby-butt cakes.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

Wow, she's only got one calf! But it's a great looking left-calf. Too bad about her gimp broken right leg. :(

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy McWife

But what about the thong? it doesn't get into the crack, but it's as if it was... painted onto the skin, and she has nothing between the legs at all... kinky!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCyberhippien

I can't help but wonder if maybe J.Lo, Jenny from the Block posed for this???

UGH! I wouldn't touch it!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

Having gone to school with Rob Barry (but I won't say when), I can safely say that he's in his late 20s, so the cake is completely aboveboard. As for his, um, predilections, I don't have any evidence for or against. He is, however, an uncommonly sweet and funny guy, and I like him a lot. Happy Birthday, Rob! I hope it's all it's cracked up to be...*snerk* :-P

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEv

Definitely a no.

Her hair and face reminds me of Cathy, from the Sunday newspaper comics. And I don't want to picture a comic character nude.
Haha.
:]

-acute_disaster

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteracute_disaster

I will forever think of this cake when I hear a man say "I'd like to slice me off a piece of that!"

I was always the kid who wanted the slice with the rose on it. What do I ask for here - the femur?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

Wow---thanks for using my "find" on Dave Barry's website. But, you forgot to show the results of when they started cutting and eating it...

Needless to say, they went for her behind. Or, as my sister calls, it, boo-hiney.

I am so honored. I can't believe I was the first to send it to you. Wow.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Gotta love where they started cutting - I want a piece of a$$!!!! Bwahahaha!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Lol... you can tell it's been a long day for me. I looked at the Duncan Hiney part and thought "isn't is supposed to be Hines...?"

Then...

"Oh... haha, I get it now..."

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTornadoBaby

And his son was how old? That must have been one clASSy party.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

First day that I've visited your site. I love it! I've already passed the link on to several friends. Wonderful idea, so much fun!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLose That Girl

That foot looks like a club foot... so that would explain the weird angle...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbecky

Wow, her knees are mere inches below her hips. That, combined with the problems she's having with her right foot, must make it really hard to walk.

I can only imagine what it would look like... it brings to mind a Terry Pratchett quote: "It wasn't so much a walk as a collapse, indefinitely postponed."

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hi,

I just voted for your excellent blog for the Bloggers Choice Awards.

Could you please return the favor at:
http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620

Thanks,

SpEdLaw2
http://specialeducationlawblog.blogspot.com

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim Gerl

Silly me---you did include the cutting of the, uh, "cake" by letting us click on the words "blog entry". Thanks, your wreckporter

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Back that c@ke up!!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDWF

Did he say if he regretted his purchase in hindsight?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNancy Folsom

When I finally figured out whay an "A" man was I had to laugh. I am a little slow. Personally I am a face man. Got to have a pretty face. Don't initial that it doesn't work. But I digress. An appropriate song for this cake would be Queen, Fat-bottomed girls.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My husband would like this cake...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthenewsarahsundae

I think it's pretty funny and all in good humor!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Foster

This is like a Photoshop Disaster and Cake Wreck all rolled into one!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

Say no to crack!!!! LOL

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermousekemom

lol too funny
beautiful lady!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterViper

My main worry would be where to put the candle!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfifikins

Now she's got herself some special calves and very little thigh! At least she can't be complaining they are fat...XD

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGifted Designs

This cake is assinine. <---extra s added. Webster can kiss mine

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wipe that cake off your face!!!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have absolutely no idea who Dave Barry is but hey, I digress . . . I'm just hoping that they didn't get his son's girlfriend to model for this cake! Now *that* would have been embarrassing . . . .

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoUK

THAT CAKE IS SO HOT

NOM NOM NOM NOM

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKioran

It's not as bad as the "Macho Man" cake that looks like Operation.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

It would appear that this is the ultimate "cupcake" cake!!!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I guess it was either that or moon pies.

I can't believe that sucker was over 4 feet long! (I mean the cake, gutter brains.)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I thought that I pretty much dug you based on the cakes and commentary, but the Dave Barry reference sealed the deal. I heart Dave.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

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