Wednesday
Oct062010
Down With EPP!
October 6, 2010 Friends, countrypersons, cake lovers.
Today I come to you on a matter of grave concern. (And no, I don't mean that one.)
You all know of my longstanding stance on that most unholy of creations; the cupcake cake. [patooie!] Well, friends, today I bring a new acronym upon which I must heap disdain and revile-attude of such revulsion that I actually had to make up a word just to describe it.
That acronym?
EPP.
And it stands for...
Edible Photo Printing.
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!
BEHOLD!! THE EEEEVIL:
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!
I don't even...
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!
Ok, you have GOT to be...
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!
Excuse me, are you done?
Sound guy: Um. Yeah.
'Cause I'll wait.
Sound guy: No no, please. Continue.
You're sure.
Sound guy: Yeah, yeah, we're good!
[meaningful glare]
Sound guy: [innocent smile]
Alright. Now then, as I was say....
DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!
Thanks to Grace W., Dana W., (not related) Silvia C., Lara K., Kelli, and of course my favorite Wreckporter, Jo...
DUNN DUNN DUNNNNN!!!
Reader Comments (114)
There are just no words for some of those.
But - what if I totally want a cake with a picture of a guy staring down my cleavage???
~Sandye
Makes me lose my appetite. Besides being ugly, I don't think I want to eat the image of someone I know.
WV: frivela --- these EPP cakes are just frivela and should be baned.
I know for a fact that vampire guy drives a schoolbus.
In Teaneck,NJ.
Really.
Really I am speechless. Wow! I cringed a little remembering the one time I purchased a photo cake. For my husbands birthday I had his photo put on the top of the cake. Sadly, it scared my little 3 year old and he refused to eat any of Dad's face. He was a little terrified of the CAKE!
And here I thought the Hannah Montana cake was a better likeness than her singing!
As always, Jen, it's your commentary that really has me rolling today! Hilarious doesn't do today's post justice! XD
But beyond that, you HAVE to be kidding me, right?! WHAT are these people thinking?!
Of course, that being said, *hangs head in shame* I actually think the one with Robert Pattinson is hilarious!
Ooh... bad, bad, bad.
But I am wondering.... where DO those sound guys learn that innocent smile?
aaaahhhhhh!!!! My first scrapbook pages, awful as they were, were better than that hideous wedding cake?
What were they THINKING????
Um, is that bottom one supposed to be a wedding cake? Are those shots of the happy couple through the years? What, what? Oh, Good Lord, deliver us!
The last one is fantastic! I couldn't think of a situation where such a cake might apply - but if one ever comes up I'm going to run with it...
OMG. these have to be some of the worst cakes I have ever seen. #2-I had to go back a few times to figure out it is a guy's face peeking through a hole in a sombrero. What???
And that last cake, I was thinking this was a wannabe scrapbooker trying to show the family her mad skills at a family party! "Wait-I'll do the cake and boy, will YOU be surprised!!"
Jen and co... Luv ya bunches!!
Sandy
There are times when EPP isn't bad, honestly. It CAN be well done. no, really. That said....
these are NOT examples of that. In the slightest!
I did NOT know that was a hat... It still confuses me, even knowing what it is now. Some bakers know nothing of crunch! Err, I mean perspective.
ACK!! Someone asked me to make a cake with EPP the other day and I said.... NO! Which was nicer than what I was thinking. These are too funny!
You down with EPP (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with EPP (Every last homie)
mesto- "They made a mesto them cakes"
The hat wearing a guy cracks me up!
http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
I just need to use the word verification, since it totally describes those cakes: poodurey.
I need to put some guy staring at my cleavage!
No! It's poodurey!
Hannah is busting out all over and such a little head to boot! Really people, a full pic, or nothing at all. Wait. Then we wouldn't have cake wrecks...carry on!
The RPatz/Twilight one actually is kinda cracking me up.
The Twilight guy one photoshopped to be staring at the neck of the birthday girl...okay staring at the NECK. The NECK.
Sure it's not what Vampire Boy seems to be staring at but let's just pretend, okay?
Anyway, it's kinda funny.
Um.. does the top of that sombrero look like.. um.. anything in particular to anyone else?
Ok,, getting my mind out of the gutter.
My mom's 80th birthday cake had an edible photo of her nekkid bum baby picture. It was actually sorta cute, but of course everyone cut around the butt and wouldn't eat it. hehehehe..
Wow. Just....wow.
It's like cake versions of the pain: "wallowing in freakish misery forever."
Personally, though I think the tween heartthrob from Twilight looks delicious, I'm not particularly inclined to eat him. I assume his noble blood-sucking character would do the courtesy of the same towards me, and go feed on a cake with a rabbit on it instead.
OH MY! I'm glad ytou told me that was a sombrero......cause it totaly looks like it couls have used a smiley face to cover it up like the cake a few weeks ago.
CW Fan
Horrible!!!! And the last one is the worst!! Although I do think the one with Edward is pretty funny! =)
I don't think I've ever before really considered the emotional damage that the two of you risk on a daily basis. Here we of the internet audience sit, enjoying carefully meted doses of wreckiness and the ameliorating effects of witty commentary and/or sound effects. But you guys have no such luxury-- stuff like this floods your inbox daily, with no witty buffers or warnings of what lies ahead. An e-mail may contain a relatively innocuous sperm balloon or a run-of-the-mill butchering of "Congratulations"...or it may contain something far more sinister, like a really, really, creepy Miley Cyrus shrunken head.
You are to be deeply commended for your bravery. And your therapists deserve commendation too, because I'll bet this stuff prompts some weird discussions. :)
--kate
Giant cookie? Check. Undersized copyrighted image? Check. Edible ink? Meh, it'll do...
Call me crazy but I've seen EPP's done well and I could really see a cute wedding cake coming out of that! Maybe the engagement picture on the top side and then the bride and groom figurine on the very top. You're have to have a very photogenic couple though.
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Is that Twilight guy looking down that lady's shirt? Or is he just going to bite her in a second? I can't figure it out...
I kinda like the sombrero cake - it cracks me up.
UNbelievable.
I thought the Twilight/Photoshop/EPP was great IF it was meant to be funny. If so, being an EPP makes it even funnier. If they weren't trying to be funny, well that's just a whole 'nother session of therapy.
I'm not down with EPP (yeah you know me!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xGuGSDsDrM
Just keepin' it real. :)
Apparently Hannah Montana has microcephaly. That could explain quite a lot.
And if the Twilight one isn't bad enough, it's also printed backwards (check the writing on the bus).
I suppose I'm only reaffirming my status as a preschool mom by saying this, but your DUN DUN DUNNNNs reminded me of this Sesame Street clip from a couple years ago:
http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player/-/pgpv/videoplayer/0/acede375-156e-11dd-bb51-597ab51d2e81/law_order_the_missing_m" rel="nofollow">Law and Order: Special Letters Unit.
CHUNG-CHUNG.
Is it just me or is Miley Cyrus's head WAY TOO SMALL for that body? As if that was the only thing wrong with it.....
First, I LOVE the sound guy.
Second -- **sigh** Twi-moms. **sigh** An entire coven of cougars. **sigh** *shaking head*
If I picture is worth a thousand words, I think these just screamed my last novella.
~~Di
It's hard to maintain a sense of proportion with some of these wrecks, especially #1. Really puts things in perspective, doesn't it.
From there, we could segue into perspective of another sort, such as the whole 'giant boobs on a cake for a 9-year-old' thing, except that there appears to be only one and it seems to be located just above the tummy area. That makes it ok. OY!
My Mom, handing the bakery girl a photo of a gorgeous red Ferarri: "And put this picture on the top. It's for my daughter's sixteenth birthday."
"You're getting her THAT car?!"
"No, just the cake."
Thanks Mom. Love you too. At least the cake was tasty.
The R.Pats EPP is funny. I kinda want one with my photo in his grasp.
Oh my gosh, I was busting up at the Photoshopped picture of Edward Cullen and the random woman. I'm still laughing...
Oh, my, Hanna Montana has grown. Her head hasn't, though.
jen, Jen, JEN (hand in air waving frantically)!!! I need to know something really important, Jen! If we always spit after the mention or sight of a dread CCC (patooie!), what must we do at the sight of an EPP? Snorts, fur ball noises, growls, weird fart-y sounds with the armpit?? Inquiring minds want to know....
( I like to get my disgust etiquette Just Right.)
thank you, Terrell
Aww, there's no sparkles on the Twilight cake!
I am disappoint.
that edible photo paper is scary to cut into. like a skin!
meanwhile, I love the Julius Caesar reference! and the scary cakes. Hannah put on some pounds. the sombrero dude looks like he's being chased by a giant alien thing about to eat him (the blue thing would be the mouth. or squirmy tentacle like body)
Edible photo paper on a cookie? seriously, wreckerator? you know they use photo paper too much at that bakery, considering how green that printout is. toner's going, people!
the Twilight cake is just scary. seriously, lady? you're that into young vampires that you photoshopped him with his arm around you? and you're old enough to be his mom?? meanwhile, is he checking out her boobs or what looks like a raw steak in her hand?
I'm going to a family reunion next week and they did ask for pictures. I'm hoping they don't stick them in icing to a faux wedding cake. Scary! (but if they do, I'll send you a picture!)
GAH!!! That last one ... GAH!!!
You know never have I looked at a cake and though you know what this needs to taste better......Paper! Oh and the ones with printed heads and cake bodies *shudders* ummmm no!
Those... are pretty bad...
The key to doing EPP right is to have the image NOT be a person...I cheated and did EPP for my brother's graduation cakes because he wanted the college seal and the mascot (Illinois State University Redbirds anyone??) and I know I can't pipe good enough for that...the EPP was definitely the way to go...