Wednesday
Jun022010
Nothing To See Here
June 2, 2010 Parental Note: This post contains extreme childishness not at all appropriate for children.
Move along.
He blinded me with...science.Who's up for a snowball fight?
(I can't tell if the middle guy is volunteering or flipping me off.)
A pink bowling pin + a pair of bowling balls = everyone's mind in the gutter.
The Force is strong with this one.
Who needs third base?
Gee, these bones look a little dry. Do you suppose the grill chef is a master baster?Carrie, Meg N., Tracy, Melanie V., Carrie G., & Amy L., I hear it relieves tension.
Grilling. I'm talking about grilling.
Grilling. I'm talking about grilling.
Reader Comments (116)
"The penish mightier!"
Amazing how many members were in this cake club!
A most "probing" pictorial. You guys really "stick it" to those bakers.
The bat (?) on the Red Sox cake made me choke on my coffee this morning. Good God, what was the decorator thinking????
Honey, can you say....FIXATION? How does this happen so frequently? Pro bakers must not get home much.
WV: HYSTSWAR. "Those two middle age ladies got into a regular HYSTSWAR."
These cakes would be a perfect hybrid of the games 'Pictionary' and 'Dirty Minds'. And I would completely fail.
Master Baster! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Today's Miss Manners is perfect for this post!
Dear Miss Manners:
My husband is putting on a birthday party for me. I will be turning 57.
His sister has taken up the art of hand-sculpting huge birthday cakes. She has been mastering the art of making huge, three-foot-tall penises. She recently presented one to her mother-in-law for her birthday.
Needless to say, it didn't go over very well. She is very proud of herself and takes this cake-making business seriously.
I have just found out that my husband has ordered a cake from her for my birthday.
I think she is grotesque, rude and out of line with these cakes. I am mortified that she might make the same cake for me.
How should I react? With disgust and asking her to leave? Or thanking her and putting a large garbage bag over it and offering it to her to take home?
I have told my husband I would be totally offended if I was presented with a cake like that as a surprise. He says not to worry about it, that he's sure she won't do it. But I know she will. Please tell me what to say.
Say "Thank you," whisk it into the kitchen, slice it in small pieces and serve it on a platter. Just please don't describe the slicing to Miss Manners.
I can't imagine those weren't intentional...or maybe Freud could explain it.
But the snowballs seemed ok to me. I didn't notice anything wrong about them until I read your comment and even then I had to look very closely to see a remote resemblance to a finger.
And the baseball hat was so good!
Great post! I am so with you on feeling like God has bigger things to worry about than my problems. I feel selfish asking him to bless me with a friend that I can really connect with because I feel so lonely sometimes. I think to myself that if I could pour myself into a deeper relationship with him that I wouldn't feel so lonely and that maybe that is why he hasn't sent me such a friend. It's hard to do this walk alone, though, and my husband is not a believer. Please pray with me that he would open his heart to our great Lord.
Master baster! (I laughed so hard I scared the dog.)
Awesomeness.
what a bunch of cake cock-ups :P
Wow. Why pink for the bat? And since the hat and baseball were so great, why not quit while you're ahead?
yikes
The snowball guys are too funny, but you totally missed the poo-bears just next to them... what gives?!? As always, you start my day with a laugh!!
I don't even understand what the last one is supposed to be!
I loved these. They gave me a good chuckle.
Anyone who complains today about vulgarity should be directed to Disney's website for more family friendly fun.
PS. I ADORE the new CakeWrecks sign at the top. Very cool.
That "baseball bat" is unbelievably terrible! I might've screamed when I saw it.
I may be scarred for life from the he vibrator/light saber one. *horrified expression*
I guess that answers the question of whether Brian is a pitcher or a catcher.
*cough*
A pink baseball bat? Do the Sox know about this?
But now that I've read the caption, I'm snickering at the snowmen because it looks like they're ALL giving the one-digit salute.
The one in the fifth photo is just so PINK. Ugh. Bakers shouldn't use colors that could be someone's skin tone!
Well, this doesn't make me want to put those in my mouth at all.
*Ba-Dum-Tish!*
WOW and not one of 'em for a wedding shower....
Amy, if someone gave me that rude, crude and socially unacceptable cake, I would rush out of the kitchen with a cleaver and maniacally hack it to bits, shrieking "muwahahahahahaha!!!" Then look around the room at all the men, nod my head, and say "yeah."
Don't think she'd try it on me again.
what are those first things? Cat in the Hat hats by Dr. Seuss? *feigns innocence*
aw, happy little three-fingered snowmen...
lumpy pink oversized "bowling pin" (gee, how into bowling IS she?) doesn't the baker know that pins are WHITE? balls are pink! and that "pin" looks a little bruised where the icing is thin over the chocolate cupcakes. coverage, people!
(btw, I wonder if her name is misspelled (Caitlyn?) Hard to say these days with "creative" names.)
love the paintbrush/rocketship woody. some paint pots might have been helpful here.
the hat actually looks pretty good, seams, button, vent holes, B. Then the bat is just so short and FLESH-COLORED.
love the "toasting" of those boney marshmallow chicken legs on the wonky CCC basketball. yowza.
wv: verin. if these ugly cakes don't get eaten and get put out, they may attract verin.
Today's cakes would make a good quiz: We know what they LOOK like, but what were they intended to represent?
The last one gives it away with a label that says "BBQ Grill." But if that's a grill, why is somebody cooking ... uh ... ??
Moving right along, why are all those well-endowed snowmen giving me the finger?
Oh...... my.......
Great puns, as always, Jen!!
#4: Use the Schwartz!
WV: eingra--as in "don't make Dark Helmet eingra or he'll come after you..."
You know, that Boston cap is really nice! Whoever did that and the ball did an amazing job.
Which leads me to wonder... what the hell happened with that bat?! I mean, the colors on the other objects are perfect, so instead we get a flesh colored bat? I seriously had to do at least a double take, if not more, when I saw that cake. All of these are awesome, but that one really knocked it out of the park.
Poor Brian, as if he needed any further reminders of his botched vasectomy.....
1. Those cakes, really just no words...
2. I really need to stop looking at your blog when I'm hungry, I am jonesing for some cake... Not so good when I'm trying to eat healthier...
And, the bowling balls are BLUE!
Oh my that was funny! Thanks for sharing! hehehe....
Amanda
the snowman pix wouldn't load on this post...but I was able to click on it and see the pix (to know it was snowmen!)
I'm with Jenniffer - the brown poo-guys were awesome and those fried egg hats were to die for...what, exactly, WERE they?!
I, too, adored the Boston Red Sox hat (as I adore the Boston Red Sox), but that "bat" is just a tragedy. Maybe it was a team effort, and separate bakers made the hat & bat? I can only hope...
Oh wow. Now I almost wish the site *wasn't* working correctly.
... nah, it's still funny. Although I might have lost my appetite.
Love the "cockets",and the bat,well...uh,you know.
Great LOL's today!Thank You!!
Dirty minded girl-lolol
Hilarious!!!
HAHAHAHAH!!! "The penish mightier" HAHAHAH!!! Thanks Mr. Connery!
The cake wrecker managed to make a really good cap and a penis. How?
Is that an official icing color: "Penis Pink?"
the eternal question has now been answered....
Snowmen DO have balls.
Definitely baked and decorated by master bakers.....
The first one probably means to show test tubes (upside down) rather than "crotch rockets." I suspect that the light saber is supposed to be a Harry Potter-style broomstick, which would be fine if not for that dent near the end.
Are you sure those aren't snow-women from the chest up?
*wipes tears from eyes*
Classic.
Just classic.
Who needs third base...master basters..... *GUFFAW*
@ Gary "The last one gives it away with a label that says "BBQ Grill." But if that's a grill, why is somebody cooking ... uh ... ??"
Maybe this is the Bobbit household...full of angry women.
"Bibbity, BOBBITY food!"
yuck. I just grossed myself out. Never to look at a wiener on the grill the same way again.
wv: ovencen. In the religion against baking immoral cakes, these violations are an examplve of ovencen.