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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun022010

Nothing To See Here

Parental Note: This post contains extreme childishness not at all appropriate for children.

Move along.

He blinded me with...science.


Who's up for a snowball fight?

(I can't tell if the middle guy is volunteering or flipping me off.)


A pink bowling pin + a pair of bowling balls = everyone's mind in the gutter.

The Force is strong with this one.



Who needs third base?

Gee, these bones look a little dry. Do you suppose the grill chef is a master baster?

Carrie, Meg N., Tracy, Melanie V., Carrie G., & Amy L., I hear it relieves tension.

Grilling. I'm talking about grilling.

« Wreckage in its Proper Form | Main | We...... Need Your Help! »

Reader Comments (112)

"The penish mightier!"

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Connery

Amazing how many members were in this cake club!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

A most "probing" pictorial. You guys really "stick it" to those bakers.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissaM

The bat (?) on the Red Sox cake made me choke on my coffee this morning. Good God, what was the decorator thinking????

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Honey, can you say....FIXATION? How does this happen so frequently? Pro bakers must not get home much.

WV: HYSTSWAR. "Those two middle age ladies got into a regular HYSTSWAR."

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

These cakes would be a perfect hybrid of the games 'Pictionary' and 'Dirty Minds'. And I would completely fail.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

Master Baster! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Today's Miss Manners is perfect for this post!

Dear Miss Manners:

My husband is putting on a birthday party for me. I will be turning 57.

His sister has taken up the art of hand-sculpting huge birthday cakes. She has been mastering the art of making huge, three-foot-tall penises. She recently presented one to her mother-in-law for her birthday.

Needless to say, it didn't go over very well. She is very proud of herself and takes this cake-making business seriously.

I have just found out that my husband has ordered a cake from her for my birthday.

I think she is grotesque, rude and out of line with these cakes. I am mortified that she might make the same cake for me.

How should I react? With disgust and asking her to leave? Or thanking her and putting a large garbage bag over it and offering it to her to take home?

I have told my husband I would be totally offended if I was presented with a cake like that as a surprise. He says not to worry about it, that he's sure she won't do it. But I know she will. Please tell me what to say.

Say "Thank you," whisk it into the kitchen, slice it in small pieces and serve it on a platter. Just please don't describe the slicing to Miss Manners.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmyH

I can't imagine those weren't intentional...or maybe Freud could explain it.

But the snowballs seemed ok to me. I didn't notice anything wrong about them until I read your comment and even then I had to look very closely to see a remote resemblance to a finger.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbluefairy

And the baseball hat was so good!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Great post! I am so with you on feeling like God has bigger things to worry about than my problems. I feel selfish asking him to bless me with a friend that I can really connect with because I feel so lonely sometimes. I think to myself that if I could pour myself into a deeper relationship with him that I wouldn't feel so lonely and that maybe that is why he hasn't sent me such a friend. It's hard to do this walk alone, though, and my husband is not a believer. Please pray with me that he would open his heart to our great Lord.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerraD

Master baster! (I laughed so hard I scared the dog.)

Awesomeness.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLibertygal

what a bunch of cake cock-ups :P

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarissa

Wow. Why pink for the bat? And since the hat and baseball were so great, why not quit while you're ahead?

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBabsiegirl

yikes

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

The snowball guys are too funny, but you totally missed the poo-bears just next to them... what gives?!? As always, you start my day with a laugh!!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

I don't even understand what the last one is supposed to be!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I loved these. They gave me a good chuckle.

Anyone who complains today about vulgarity should be directed to Disney's website for more family friendly fun.

PS. I ADORE the new CakeWrecks sign at the top. Very cool.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

That "baseball bat" is unbelievably terrible! I might've screamed when I saw it.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I may be scarred for life from the he vibrator/light saber one. *horrified expression*

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLibrarianJessica

I guess that answers the question of whether Brian is a pitcher or a catcher.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarensb

*cough*

A pink baseball bat? Do the Sox know about this?

But now that I've read the caption, I'm snickering at the snowmen because it looks like they're ALL giving the one-digit salute.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The one in the fifth photo is just so PINK. Ugh. Bakers shouldn't use colors that could be someone's skin tone!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSquint

Well, this doesn't make me want to put those in my mouth at all.
*Ba-Dum-Tish!*

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

WOW and not one of 'em for a wedding shower....

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Amy, if someone gave me that rude, crude and socially unacceptable cake, I would rush out of the kitchen with a cleaver and maniacally hack it to bits, shrieking "muwahahahahahaha!!!" Then look around the room at all the men, nod my head, and say "yeah."

Don't think she'd try it on me again.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

what are those first things? Cat in the Hat hats by Dr. Seuss? *feigns innocence*

aw, happy little three-fingered snowmen...

lumpy pink oversized "bowling pin" (gee, how into bowling IS she?) doesn't the baker know that pins are WHITE? balls are pink! and that "pin" looks a little bruised where the icing is thin over the chocolate cupcakes. coverage, people!

(btw, I wonder if her name is misspelled (Caitlyn?) Hard to say these days with "creative" names.)

love the paintbrush/rocketship woody. some paint pots might have been helpful here.

the hat actually looks pretty good, seams, button, vent holes, B. Then the bat is just so short and FLESH-COLORED.

love the "toasting" of those boney marshmallow chicken legs on the wonky CCC basketball. yowza.

wv: verin. if these ugly cakes don't get eaten and get put out, they may attract verin.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Today's cakes would make a good quiz: We know what they LOOK like, but what were they intended to represent?

The last one gives it away with a label that says "BBQ Grill." But if that's a grill, why is somebody cooking ... uh ... ??

Moving right along, why are all those well-endowed snowmen giving me the finger?

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Oh...... my.......
Great puns, as always, Jen!!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#4: Use the Schwartz!

WV: eingra--as in "don't make Dark Helmet eingra or he'll come after you..."

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, that Boston cap is really nice! Whoever did that and the ball did an amazing job.

Which leads me to wonder... what the hell happened with that bat?! I mean, the colors on the other objects are perfect, so instead we get a flesh colored bat? I seriously had to do at least a double take, if not more, when I saw that cake. All of these are awesome, but that one really knocked it out of the park.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Poor Brian, as if he needed any further reminders of his botched vasectomy.....

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

1. Those cakes, really just no words...

2. I really need to stop looking at your blog when I'm hungry, I am jonesing for some cake... Not so good when I'm trying to eat healthier...

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthansen

And, the bowling balls are BLUE!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHH

Oh my that was funny! Thanks for sharing! hehehe....
Amanda

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Stephan

the snowman pix wouldn't load on this post...but I was able to click on it and see the pix (to know it was snowmen!)

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

I'm with Jenniffer - the brown poo-guys were awesome and those fried egg hats were to die for...what, exactly, WERE they?!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I, too, adored the Boston Red Sox hat (as I adore the Boston Red Sox), but that "bat" is just a tragedy. Maybe it was a team effort, and separate bakers made the hat & bat? I can only hope...

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren in Boston

Oh wow. Now I almost wish the site *wasn't* working correctly.

... nah, it's still funny. Although I might have lost my appetite.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Love the "cockets",and the bat,well...uh,you know.
Great LOL's today!Thank You!!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Dirty minded girl-lolol

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious!!!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKJ

HAHAHAHAH!!! "The penish mightier" HAHAHAH!!! Thanks Mr. Connery!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterinspiredpointsofview

The cake wrecker managed to make a really good cap and a penis. How?

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShe Draws

Is that an official icing color: "Penis Pink?"

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMags

the eternal question has now been answered....

Snowmen DO have balls.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHypermama

Definitely baked and decorated by master bakers.....

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one probably means to show test tubes (upside down) rather than "crotch rockets." I suspect that the light saber is supposed to be a Harry Potter-style broomstick, which would be fine if not for that dent near the end.

Are you sure those aren't snow-women from the chest up?

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

*wipes tears from eyes*
Classic.

Just classic.

Who needs third base...master basters..... *GUFFAW*

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

@ Gary "The last one gives it away with a label that says "BBQ Grill." But if that's a grill, why is somebody cooking ... uh ... ??"

Maybe this is the Bobbit household...full of angry women.

"Bibbity, BOBBITY food!"

yuck. I just grossed myself out. Never to look at a wiener on the grill the same way again.

wv: ovencen. In the religion against baking immoral cakes, these violations are an examplve of ovencen.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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