Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jun082009

Graduate! Celebrate! "Decorate!"

If you're still planning a party for the graduate in your life, then these bakeries would like you to know that they are ready and willing to provide a whole host of graduation-appropriate cake designs...

On Styrofoam.

Sure, it tends to stick in the molars a bit, but it's extremely low in fat.

NOTE TO BAKERS: Icing tends to slide off of Styrofoam when displayed at an angle.

NOTE TO CUSTOMERS: Regard all cakes stored flat with extreme suspicion from now on.

If for some reason you feel compelled to have a photo of your grad on the cake, then this bakery obliges with either a traditional, "boring," photo, or the hip new "green-out silhouette" option:


Also great for grads in the Witness Protection Program!

And for those customers who may become confused, thinking they have to purchase a cake with someone else's photo on it, this bakery provides a helpful clarification:

Congrats! You spelled "your" wrong!

But suppose your grad is spiritually inclined? How do you tastefully incorporate his or her religious views into a graduation cake? Well, this bakery shows us how...

...not to do it.


And lastly, this bakery wants you to send your graduate a really heartfelt message.


Specifically: "Your face looks like a butt."

Oh, and "your cap is ridiculous, with its teensy little robot arm."

Victoria W., Maya J., Denise R., Leanna P., and Patricia B., "you're thanks here."

« The Future's So Bright.. | Main | Sunday Sweets: Candy!! »

Reader Comments (144)

Haha. I love the last one. Nothing like a bum cookie to celebrate your graduation!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That teensy little robot arm would be scratching its head in bewilderment, if only it had a head. So, it's scratching its butt instead.

Bwahaahaa! Your face looks like a butt! Too funny...

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

"your cap is ridiculous, with it's teensy little robot arm."

Uh oh. Bad form to misuse an apostrophe in a post that includes pointing out a misused apostrophe.

its -- not it's. [...with it is teensy little robot arm? NOT]

Otherwise, great post as usual. I laughed, which is what I come here for. Thank you.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterc3

Sometimes I wonder about people...

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

I'm so well trained by this site that I thought those first cakes were some weird, wavy, squish-the-writing-on-the-bottom new design the bakery had made up for grad.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

The "teensy little robot arm" comment just about made me spit my morning tea all over my computer screen.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

Oh Oh Oh! These had me rolling on the floor laughing! I'm right in the middle of a stressful move and took a break to see if today's wrecks had been posted. So glad I did. I'll be laughing about the butt cake for the rest of the day!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlalock

Ooh, you can't dump on a baker for misspelling "your" if you're going to misspell "its" in the same post.

Otherwise, I love you.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPete

LOL! I just had a niece graduate and i am so glad none of these made it to the party... what were these people thinking anyway? how can you possibly look at any of these and say- "wow, this looks AWESOME."?

WV: ingesse
meaning: I'm glad i dont have to "ingesse" any of these wrecks.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Haha, that was great. A nice big laugh to start my day!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSimsKatie

If I can stop laughing, I'll go back and look at the one with the cross on it again. What IS that priest doing with that child back there??

WF- nones
I'd like nones of those cakes.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

wondrously sarcastic comments ;-} Oh the comments that could be made about that cookie for graduates ..... o:-}

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl B.

The butt cookie about killed me. Not just a butt, but a butt with chocolate chip zits. Lovely. :-)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I want an ass cake-cookie thing!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow ... styrofoam cakes!!! I mean, who wants a PICTURE of their graduation cake when they can have a cake that will last forever? What will they think of next?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZannie

The cookie cake reminds me of Carvel - one style cake, many uses.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

I am lovin the buttface cookie.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think you have the message of that last cake all wrong. They aren't saying your face looks like a butt, they just had some Valentines cakes that didn't sell.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRon and Jessica

At least they managed to spell everything correctly on the last picture!! Hilarious as always!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I want to know how old and stale that heart shaped cookie with the grad cap is!!!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRoo

Cakewrecks, I love you, but...you used "it's" wrong.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin Elizabeth Long

I love the butt cookie. Ah, yes, it's a mortarboard - I was puzzling over why an arm was reaching out of the roof of a grass hut.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Um. What is going on in the top right corner of the Catholic grad cake? Perhaps I need more coffee, but, um. I see pervy things.

And that last one looks more to me like a healthy, hairy nutsack. Graduating into puberty?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Until you explained the last one I was afraid to ask what the heck that was. Oh, so bad.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIMakeSoap

Now I know two good reasons why using styrofoam for art projects is bad: #1 it melts in the presence of high volumes of water and #2 icing slides off of it.

The butt cookie cake is hilarious!

Now, before anyone goes accusing Jen of hypocrisy over using the wrong "it's," let me just say that I never had any trouble with your/you're, its/it's, there/their/they're, etc., until I taught high school and constantly faced the incorrect usage, despite all of my efforts to combat it. Sadly, I still have to think about which one is correct. To make a long story short, it's the wreckerators' fault for Jen losing her grip on grammar! ;)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Buttface graduate....hilarious!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Believe

Makes me giggle as always, although I'd like to be picky and point out that you probably didn't intend to have the period outside the quotes on the submitter acknowledgments... one of my pet peeves =)

And nice puns, of course!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LMAO. I'm loving the last one.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy C

OMG That "butt-face" cake, well, cookie, is hilarious! When I graduated I probably would l have loved that cake because it would have been such a good laugh!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiana

Here's my cap and gown,
Son! Such memories! And look,
my cake is still good!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

God, I'm glad that's a graduation cap. I was tipping my head at all angles to figure it out...and I was scared to find out.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Love them as usual.

I have pointed out punctuation errors to the bakers where I work, the common one is the wrong use of their/there/they're or your/you're. When I read it like it says "You are picture here" then the bakers understand the mistake and fix it.

As for "it's", I believe the apostrophe was correct. Apostrophes are used for contractions and to show posession..."Jen's blog", so in this case, it would be "it's robot arms"

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

You want a butt cake with your diploma?

And, the Styrofoam displays are just too sad. Someone needs a severe talkin' to!

~Amy B.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Whew! Glad I'm not the only one who saw a nutsack in the butt cake.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

OK, grammar police, go back to bed, please. Grammar mistakes on CAKES are funny and noteworthy. Picking at the punctuation in a blog, not so much.

I LOVE the butt face one. hee hee.

Got a question here, what, oh WHAT is the giant purple paisley-ish blob at the foot of the cross on the Catolic grad cake? All I could figure was maybe it's Jonah (fresh out of the belly and onto the back of the whale) arriving at the cross surfer style?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLily

Hey guys,

I appreciate all of you who pointed out Jen's misuse of the word "it's." Very kind. This is one of those things that really makes no sense though. Observe:

John's going to the store.
It was John's idea.
It's taking quite a while.
The cat played with its toy.

Why does an s that denotes a possessive not have an apostrophe after it? I looked to my wise English professor Mom for and answer, hopefully one based in ancient Saxon verbage or...something. Her answer:
"English is stupid. Be glad you were born with it."

Which is why I'm starting a petition to change the possessive of it to it's. Who's with me?!?!

*cricket chirping*

john

its - the possessive form of it (used as an attributive adjective): The book has lost its jacket. I'm sorry about its being so late.

it's - contraction of it is: It's starting to rain.

Jen got it right as in "Sure, it tends to stick in the molars a bit, but it's [it is] extremely low in fat.

The butt cake is still funny!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSerendipity

Er, am I the only one who is looking at the cookie cake and Not seeing a hat on a butt? It, um, looks like the front side of the butt area, of a male, to me. If you catch my drift...

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Re: "teensy little robot arm"

I can't help it, my first thought was Big butt, small arms! Big butt, small arms!

I'm bad, aren't I? Heh.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

I wish people would learn to spell "your" and "you're" correctly. It would eliminate so much pain and suffering. On the other hand, it might also substantially cut down the number of cakes you can make fun of. So what if I ended that sentence with a proposition?

This site also seems to be reasonably mean and awesome:

http://pregnantorfat.wordpress.com/

Cake Wrecks, you rule!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK. That last one is totally an upside down heart. That makes it even worse. And that's saying a lot.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I bet a lot of kids want the butt cookie cake...okay, maybe just the boys. ;)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

A choked on my coffee!!! :-D LOL that's great!!!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTandoori

I saw the green-face cakes at Sam's Club the other day. I was about to take a picture to send in, but I didn't have my camera. Love the butt cake.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAda C

Well, at least the writer for the last cake could spell "Congratulations, graduate." If only the baker hadn't decided to use the old valentine pan.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

Ok, I made it to the "teensy little robot arm" before I lost it. Unfortunately, I was eating at the time. When will I ever learn?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

I am English etymology puncutation extravaganza lesson!

There is no apostrophe in the possessive "its" for the same reason there is no apostrophe in other pronomitive possessives (yours, his, hers, mine, my, ours, theirs, whose): the word itself is already possessive.

This is in contrast to nominative possessives (Jen's blog, Cake Wrecks' bandwidth, Haiku Joy's bad haircut)in which the apostrophe and "s" change the noun (Jen) into a possessive adjective (Jen's).

So, if you start with a pronoun and use it to show possession, no apostrophe. Start with a noun, and you need it.

"It's" is the contraction for "it is."

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Kinda unrelated, but I have noticed some posters using "nutsack" alot lately. That has got to be one of the most hilarious words. EVER! Tee hee... I'm going to call my hubby a nutsack when he gets home. I'm sure he will be flattered! :) (Seriously, he will!)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

Wow Haiku Joy,

You rock absolutely.

Its true.

hehe

john

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>