Flower Power

When it comes to wedding cakes, there's a right amount of flowers...

[Note: this is not the right amount]

...and a WRONG amount of flowers:

If you listen verrry closely, you can actually hear the cake screaming.

Bakers know a hefty blanket of fake blooms can cover a multitude of cakey sins:

...including the fact that the groom forgot to pick up the cake.

[Fun fact: this was actually the mother-of-the-bride's hat.]

However, at some point the flowers and flotsam cross over from "charming camouflage" into "DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?"

When bakers play "To The Pain."

Many bakers use silk flowers to avoid the problem of brown droopy blooms on their cakes:

Others use silk flowers to ensure it.

{I'm almost afraid to ask, but why do they even make roses in those colors?}

Just remember: sometimes, for some cakes, there simply aren't enough flowers in the world:

In these instances, I advise a large shrubbery.

And maybe a few more of those Keystone Lights.

Thanks to Roger G., Alison V., Jen, Anony M., Stacey H., & Michelle C. for making all the two-year-old flower girls out there look extra talented today.

Truth In Advertising

The Promise:

The Delivery:

Oh, they'll never forget it, alright.

Thanks to wreckporter Robert W., who tells me this cake is currently sitting on a bakery counter - right next to that first picture - as a means of advertising. Or, as Robert suspects, perhaps more as a warning.

P.S. The longer you look at this, the funnier it gets. Seriously. Can we take a moment to "appreciate" those bottom borders? And the fact that the baker used the giant shell tip to do all the delicate piping work? Huh? Can we?