Six Ways to Celebrate Your New Engagement

- With giant yellow donuts:

Mmmm. Doooonuts.

- With "lots" and "lots" of "hearts."

"Perfect."

- By planning ahead.

Way, way, WAY ahead.

- By stressing the importance of family:

Actually, Darth Vader fighting Luke in honor of an impending marriage is kind of awesome. Let's just hope your in-laws have a good sense of humor.

(And make sure the baby shower cake looks like this.)

- By comparing your new life together to violently killing things:

"Here we see the groom taking aim at his violently diarrheatic bride-to-be.

"Ah, young love."

(Don't worry, kids; he's only going to tranq her 'til the green diarrhea stops.)

Or, of course, there's always the old standby:

- A syrupy sweet public display of affection that'll leave your guests sick to their stomachs:

"Dude. Some of us are trying to eat over here!"

Thanks to Sandy S., Abbey A., Matthew W., Rachel C., Naomi H., & Jule Ann H., who are so syrupy sweet they should be on a stack of pancakes.

But I am not advocating cannibalism.

Because Patience and Kindness are Overrated

I didn't think it'd been that long since my wedding reception, but apparently I'm already behind the times. Used to be, folks just clinked their glasses any time they wanted the happy couple to kiss.

Now I see bakers are taking it a step further:

And then some.

Don't see it? Here, let me zoom in:

Now, cue the music, DJ! It's time for the groom to DANCE.

Thanks to Heather C. for finally finding a wedding wreck to rival "faith, hope, thrust."