Insulting Inscriptions 101

Some handy tips when crafting the perfect cake zinger:

1) Don't misspell it.

There's nothing like borrowing song lyrics for a backhanded compliment, but misspell the thing (and omit all the necessary apostrophes) and you come across more crude than clever.

2) Be specific.

Ok, so Charity smells - but what does she smell like? Hmm? Could be roses, or cotton candy. (Mmm, cotton candy...) This is the time to release your inner muse: tell us what putrescent stench Charity is emitting, and really explore your literary space, ok?

3) Keep it simple.

While you're exploring that space, though, don't get so carried away that no one can tell what you're trying to say. Instead of an oddly phrased "Youth Forgot", why not go with something more straightforward? You know, like this:

See, the lack of exclamation marks or capital letters here really brings home juuust the right amount of indifference. Even the off-centered leaning seems to say, "Hey, I got you a cake, alright? Don't go pushing your geezer luck by expecting quality."

And lastly,

4) A little name-calling can go a long way.

Again, creativity is king here. Just watch your penmanship; that "Fink" could almost be mistaken for "Tink".

Thanks to this next one I think I've found my new favorite pet name for John:

Brilliant!

Kathryn R., Laura I., Sonya L., Mercedes R., Beth, & Kelli A., obviously your fathers smelled of elderberries.

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8 Cake Love Notes Gone Wrong

It's National Love Note Day, but don't be boring and write an actual note; order a cake, instead!

Bakers are standing by to tell your sweetheart how you really feel, using one of these convenient, pre-selected designs!

Just choose from:

The Boxer:

Don't forget the wine to go with all that cheese!

The Pictionary:

(Sorry, Carol can't draw sheep.)

The Shining:

All work and no cake decorating makes Jack a dull boy!

The Foreshadowing:

o.0

The Hidden Message:

If only that heart was upside down. IF ONLY.

The "Keeping It Casual":

Or, since I see no comma, The "Keeping It Cannibal!"
BahahahaaaaEW.

The "Kenya West":

"Now THAT'S lov..." [mic snatched out of hand]

"Imma let you finish, but 'Kenya' is one of the best Kanye misspellings of all time."

And finally, our best seller!

The Silver Lining:

Thanks to Rebecca C., Beth P., Mary R., Andrew B., Kelsey B., Lisa D., Heather R., & Shaunna R. for hitting all the wrong notes.

*****

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