What About The Twinkie?

Friends, we are gathered here today to remember an American icon: the Hostess Twinkie.

We thought he'd live forever. Heck, some of us even based our post-apocalyptic plans on it.

 And so we frittered away our time with ol' Twinkie, piling him up willy-nillie,

via

stacking him like LEGOs: 

via

and even deep-frying him:

(which I hear is delicious.)

But Twinkie also inspired the arts, creating a real buzz around town:

By Hungry Happenings

...and fostering some truly Despicable adorableness:

By Lynda of And Dipped In Chocolate

(We can only hope these were banana cream filled. "BANANA!")

Twinkie also played an integral part in many of our generation's weddings, joining forces with his fellow snack cakes to form a veritable pillar of class, convenience, and consternation:

Adding to the tragedy, Twinkies' fellow Hostess compatriots also share in his demise. Or, to put it more plainly: ding dong, the Ding Dong's dead.

Still, it's good to remember during this time of mourning that Twinkies brought people together.

And they had beef fat in them.

But mostly the people thing.

 

Dearest Twinkie, you were filled with cream, but we are filled with sadness. 

Your spongy exterior may have been reinforced with bovine blubber,

but ours will crumble under the weight of our heavy, heavy loss. 

Yea, though we walk through the aisle at Wal-Mart

with no Hostess boxes in sight,  

we shall fear no hunger...

via 

 ...for Little Debbie Swiss Rolls are still with us.

(Awww yeeeeeeah.)

Thanks to Mags, Lilla, & Annie S. for making me seriously crave some snack cakes right about now.

UPDATE: SuBee's comment today is too hysterical not to share:

"And the prophet said, cast ye your countenance toward the Walmart, and follow thy heart to the junk food aisle, for there the snack cakes are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. For the munchies are upon you, and the hunger is deep. Look with wonder upon the gifts you have been given. Of the puffed cheese and popped corn, you may eat, but not the HoHo. Of the jerky and Nutella and Doritos you may have your fill, but not the Twinkie. Of the potato chip, plain or barbecue, ranch or sugar coated, you may eat, but not the Donette. Of the oil based snack of dubious origin you may eat, but not the Ding Dong. Though your craving be deep, think not of the little chocolate cupcake with the white squiggle thereupon. For the punishment is upon us and Hostess is no more. And the people wept."

Lamentations 8:11-20

Thine comments hath madeth us laugheth out loudeth, SuBee. BLESS YOUR FACE.

Caaaakes in SPAAAACE!

Did you notice how I artfully blended "pigs in space" with a Portal 2 reference? Didya? That's professional level geekery right there. Do not try at home (without an audience).

I was up 'til 3AM yesterday morning watching the live feeds from NASA as the Curiosity rover touched down on Mars. As many have already pointed out, it's amazing to live in a time when we can get pictures from MARS in only 15 minutes, and live coverage of the Olympics from NBC in only 6 hours. [jazz hands] THE FUTURE!

 Anyway, needless to say the sight of all those brilliant people with brilliant hairdos (not joking, for once) celebrating with such joyous, nerdy abandon made me bawl like a baby. Which is to say in an ugly, squealish manner, and with just the right amount of pee leakage.

 To celebrate this momentous occasion (the Mars landing, not the pee leakage), I've invited the planet Mars 'round to comment:

 

Unfortunately, the planet had nothing to add other than a few highly questionable landing suggestions for Uranus. And boy is his face red.

But that's ok, because this AMAZING Mars Rover cake steals the show, anyway:

 

(Found here.)

 This was made back in 2009 in honor of the rover's 5th anniversary on Mars, and that's the baker, Chris Vasilakis, next to it. The Curiosity rover is much larger, of course, but as John says, "They both have six wheels and lots of technical junk on them," so that means they're practically twins

 Some details:

 "The body of the rover and the high gain antenna were all made of toffee buttercrunch cake with cinnamon buttercream between the layers.  The wheels and a few other parts were made of rice krispie treats.  Note the fondant birthday candles at the front in the instrument arm.  The red stuff at the bottom is all edible homemade mars…shmallow."

Judging by that pun, I'm pretty sure she and I would get along fabulously. 

And now, a cool story, bro:

 Laurie L., the wreckporter who sent in the rover cake, was actually the MC at the NASA event that hosted the now infamous phallic Space Shuttle wreck.

 You know, this one?

 

 She was there, you guys! An actual eye witness!

 Laurie writes,

 "Believe it or not, it was a celebration of the 25th anniversary of Sally Ride's flight as the first American Woman in Space, and Sally was there.  You can imagine how mortified I was when I arrived and saw the cake (which I had nothing to do with ordering…).  As if having a cake that said 'We've come along way' wasn't bad enough…! Anyway, as you can tell, I've still got a little PTSD going about the whole experience."

 Just remember, Laurie, there's healing through laughter. And lots and lots of dirty puns. (Is it wrong I'm still proud of that post?) (No, don't answer that; I know it is.)

 Now, stay tuned for the fabric wreck winning entries from Friday's contest! So much hilarity. And towels. And toys. And random household objects.