Turkeys

With Thanksgiving approaching, bakeries across the nation are churning out turkeys just as fast as they can.

Er, turkey cakes, I mean. Yeah.

I'm not sure who is more confused: me or the decorator who made this:

First I see a weird smiley face whose hair is on fire. Then I see... no, wait - sorry, that's all I see.

Despite the fact that these look like electrified squirrels with blazing tails, they're actually sort of cute. In a frantic, somebody-get-me-a-bucket-of-water kind of way, I mean.

Of course, then there's the turkey who's already been extinguished [smirk]:

(That's a brownie, not a cake. Pretty soon bakeries are going to start "decorating" our loaves of bread, if we're not careful.)

Unless you're eating at a restaurant at the end of the universe, I'm pretty sure your food should never talk to you - much less advocate your imbibing its flesh. Yech.

Then again:

Maybe it's worse when the thing is pleading with you NOT to eat it.

"Thing" being the operative word here, since this looks like the result of craft time at the local preschool. All it's missing is a construction paper hand-tracing for a tail, and maybe a bunch of glitter.

(Hey, now, put that glitter down, Wreckerators; I didn't mean to give you any ideas!)

Thanks to Jessi W., Jocelyn M., Delielah R., and Bonnie B.!

The Displays That Time Forgot

Some people would have you believe that bakeries should update their window display cakes at least once a year or so. To this I say "pish tosh"! Why, check out these stellar examples, still sellin' the goods 10, even 15 years after they were made!

Wow, I don't know about you guys, but I am just itching for some cake right now. Or maybe just itching. Is that blood? Sweet!

(And before you ask, yes, I DO feel rather silly for censoring plastic boobs. Happy?)

Ah, nothing captures the essence of celebration quite like crumbling moldy icing and decapitated clown heads, am I right or am I right? Those customers will be pouring in any second now, I'm sure.

Or how about this one, sure to entice all the would-be brides out there:

Just ignore that fly on the top tier; he's been stuck there for a few weeks now, so we're pretty sure he's dead. Oh, and the flowers?

We call that color "perfect patina". It was inspired by the rusting water pipes in our basement. The dust really completes the look, don't you think?

Here's another one for the happy couple on their Big Day:

Ok, so the bride and groom's eyes have melted down their faces, and his hand has made a break for it down his leg. (Heh - "made a break for it") Even so, I have no doubt that the overall design of the bride huffily facing away from the groom and with her bags packed down below is a top seller.

UPDATE: Some of you have asked if all of these came from the same bakery. Nope! This lovely assortment represents *three* separate bakeries, and I believe all of them were open for business at the time. Ain't it great?

Thanks to Wreckporters Extraordinaire Monique R. and Melissa J.!