Maybe We Should Stick to Baby Blocks And Umbrellas...
May 15, 2013 I can understand wanting to get more creative with your baby shower designs, bakers, but please, NOT LIKE THIS:
;)
"The rare squiggle-spitting dingle-dangler immobilizes its prey with a unique 'spit net' that some cultures find quite tasty."
At first you think this is just another crocheted baby with exposed brains:
;)
But turn the cake around, and...
;)
...now I'm just really confused.
Did anyone ever show you the trick of making a tiny footprint stamp with the side of your hand? And then you use your fingers to stamp the toes?
Yes?
Well, then, did anyone ever tell you to keep your grubby hands off of other people's food?
;)
Look closely.
In case you need MORE proof that bakers troll this site for "fun new" decorating ideas:
;)
But you'll note there are STILL no air holes.
If that doesn't seem morbid enough for you, though, then how about a one-year-old's head on a tree stump?
;)
I was about to say that at least this isn't a baby shower cake, but then I realized how much worse it is as a one-year-old's birthday cake:
"Look, kiddo! That's YOUR head! Do you like it? Look, I'm slicing off 'your' nose now, haha! Now, how big of a piece of your face do you want to eat? And why are you crying?"
And finally, I keep thinking bakers have reached the pinnacle of creepiness with their torso cakes: from protruding feet to perky nips to Wraith-hand-manicures, but I must say this is a new twist:
;)
"I call it, 'Womb With a View.'"
Thanks to Anony M., Monique K., Cori M., Lyndsay S., Madina S., & Alexandra M. for the labors of... love? Ok, sure. Love.
Update from john- So it turns out the baby head on a stump cake is actually from the sweet, innocent, Slavik fairytale Kolobok. In said fairytale, a yellow, spherical being (creepy baby head) becomes animated and escapes from its grandparents. (I'm still trying to figure out how a newly-animated spherical being even has grandparents.) In the end, like so many other sweet, innocent fairytales, the creepy baby head is eaten by a fox. So, ya know, not creepy at all. Sleep tight, kids!
Reader Comments (67)
I think John's update at the end is the least scary thing about this post...
I can indeed knock the talent.
@Jodee: Sending you hugs. We're all here for you.
Not buying the Kolobok...never saw a ball of dough or fat pancake with blue eyes and a little pink mouth...it is a head and it is creepy. Although the ladybugs are totally cute.
Jodee, you and yours are in my thoughts.
I hope your daughter is well.
I still think that baby head cake is a decapitated cabbage patch doll lol. It looks too much like one. I fear whoever made any of these cakes. Either they don't like moms to be or they just want to frighten everyone else off of having kids. It works it really does.
My younger brother used to make the tiny footprints on the car window when it was "steamed up" in winter. I don't know where he learned it but he always knew about fun stuff like that. (He would have loved CakeWrecks!) Thank you for the memory!
"..If that doesn't seem morbid enough for you, though, then how about a one-year-old's head on a tree stump?"
I have NO idea why, other than the fact that I've been Goth since before the term was invented, but this cracked me UP HARD, for like five minutes. BEFORE I even saw the picture. That is comedy GOLD, right there.
Your Pal,
Storm
These make me glad you don't get a shower when you adopt a 2 year old. We are going to go for a welcome party and a simple cake without any edible body parts. Call us crazy but we don't want to traumatize the kid. "Welcome to your new family. Yeah, we're cannibals."
Jodee - I'm sorry about your mother. I'm sure she's glad you have cake wrecks to lift your spirits this morning.
@Jodee, so sorry to hear about your mom. Glad you could get a smile on a sad day. We're all here for you.
OMG I go away for a few days and when I get back Jodee's world is turned upside down. Big hugs being sent your way girl.
I agree with the title.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't get the belly cakes that have the body in sexy lingerie. That just seems...odd. Not that a flannel nightgown would be any better, but mixing sexy with childbirth just seems weird. I know I didn't feel very sexy when I had my kid!
Hi there! I love your blog and I enjoy being amused or confused by the "gems" you post. One of the above cakes though doesn't belong here, because it's quite pretty and there is no gaffe in it. That is the "baby head"on the stump. What looks like a baby head is really a round loaf of bread called Kolobok - from a Russian fairy tale. It is rather popular in Russia, but obviously not so in the USA. Just saying. :)
The first baby cake is being swarmed by ugh maggots? *shiver* The head on the stump looks like a cabbage patch doll head. Creepy. Who makes that cake for a one year old. Is that really their favorite fairy tale? Oh yes mommy please tell me the one about the fox eating the baby head again please.. oh please...
I love the Moonlighting reference in your commentary! ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyCd_jrR2FE
Am I the ONLY one who see a baby entangled in brain matter in the first one???
So room with a view......is that a Caveman Toddler in there or what?