The 12 Most Bat Poop Crazy Halloween Cakes OF ALL TIME
October 18, 2013 ... at least until Monday's post. :)
This is why I love Halloween, my dear wreckies: the normal boundaries of sanity need not apply.
;)
"I was looking at a mud puddle, and it spoke to me, and it said, 'Give me the face of a hippie, man. Plus a crap ton of edible glitter and plastic eyeballs.' So I did."
;)
Ghost?
Skeleton?
Willem Dafoe after a bender?
YOU DECIDE.
Of course wreckerators love them some plastic flotsam at the best of times, but for Halloween they really pull out ALL THE STOPS.
;)
IT'S A TRAP.
A Tootsie Trap.
Which sounds kind of delicious, but no.
;)
What's got four plastic feet, plastic eyes, a plastic hat, and vaguely disconcerting icing "hair" sprouting out of a purple brick?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS THIS.
;)
I think this is supposed to be a vampire, but all I see is a Muppet who had too much whip cream on his hot cocoa. D'awww.
Uh-oh, we've veered dangerously into "cute" territory.
I CAN FIX THAT.
;)
Whew! Close one.
And now, GHOST BOOBIES:
;)
I take comfort in knowing we're all equally traumatized here.
A lot of times people ask me, "Hey, Jen, are there black olives on those Halloween cupcakes?!"
;)
And my answer is always the same: "What, next to the bleeding gummi teeth? I have no idea."
True story, bra. TRUE STORY.
(Except for the part about people talking to me. AHAHAHAH[sob].)
Sometimes a baker can't decide if she wants to make a ghost or a jack-o-lantern.
;)
Other times she just slaps a bunch of crappily iced cupcakes together, goes to lunch, and gets paid the same anyway.
I'm not saying wreckerators are lazy around Halloween, of course, I'm just saying that... uh... hang on. [whispering off camera to unseen informant] They're selling WHAT now??
;)
YOU LAZY BASTARDS.
Oh, hey, THERE's the face that will haunt my nightmares tonight:
;)
I was wondering when that would show up.
And finally, POD BABY:
;)
Congratulations, bakers. I am officially speechless.
Thanks to Anony M., Ronald C., Melissa M., Alana G., Jessica M., Laura S., Ana K., Karra A., Lea B., Andrea O., Vette, & Anony M., who think pod babies look a lot like Mandrake Roots wrapped in old banana peels.
Reader Comments (65)
@Haiku Joy, I see what you did there! Bwahahaha!
"POD BABY" is now in my Slideshow; let my husband deal with THAT at some random moment.
@CakeNinja: GET OUT OF MY MIND. He even has his li'l bucky front teeth!
Your Pal,
Storm
Yay! It's the holi-daze on Cake Wrecks!! My favorite time of year!
This particular wrecks have been so inspiring; I now feel the need to make Halloween baked goods this weekend.
Surely, I can do better (not you, Shirley).
I didn't even see the face on that first one, too much brown. 2nd looks like it was left out in the sun. 3rd looks like a stack of balogna. WTH?? Others...I just don't know.
Pod Baby's wreckerator now has a template for another holiday cake. Change the icing colors and he/she is all set for Groundhog Day.
I totally read your imaginary conversation comment as "...are those Halloween crapcakes?"
@ MichelleAK "Because witches are sinister."
Groan. Point for you. :p
I like that the label for the DIY cookie says "decorated".
Pod baby really needs a backstory: where on earth did that idea come from??
--
Jen, as always, thank you for the wrecks & your commentary. You make the internet a better place and I appreciate it.
But...I grew up speaking (mostly) standard English, so my pidgin is less than fluent, but I've been hearing & seeing it all my life. This is one of my pet peeves: if you're talking about a person, it's "brah", not "bra". In other words:
One bra is da ting you wea, sistah. Dat bruddah ova dea - mo betta you call him brah.
:)
All hail the Tootsie King!
it's like a horror movie with cakes.
Coco-drinking muppets, ghost boobies, pod babies.... it never ceases to amaze me how ugly cakes + Jen's spot-on wit= laugh out loud humor!
What is a "Pod Baby"? I thought it was Poo Baby...
I think the "olives" are blueberries. The bigger blobs don't have a clue.
The sad thing is, I almost want to go out and buy the DIY cookie cake. Because I'm too lazy to make the cookie cake and icing myself. Although I'd probably make a better design than "Boo" with three pumpkins. Where dost one find this madness??? Looks like something I could pick up at Marsh or Kroger lol.
#4: It's the two-eyed one-horned non-flying purple people eater?
#10: it has a story you see....
*store manager storms into bakery* "Joe, your cakes keep showing up on cake wrecks! Please, for the love of God, can you just one time make something that isn't a wreck?! If I see one more of your cakes on that site, you're fired! " *manager storms out*
*Joe, to self* "Hmmm...I know! I'll just put the frosting in the box with the cookie & let people decorate it themselves! Then, no matter how bad their decorating looks, it'll be inadmissible to cakewrecks! I've finally outsmarted Jen & her blog!"
#11: Because nothing's as scary as an edible picasso face.
#12: Kill it! Kill it with fire!
#4 made me unbelievably happy. I think it's the scowl on its... face? Well, on its whatever. It's adorable.
The second to last kinda reminds me of my methhead white trash neighbors where I grew up.