A Mary Sing-Along
August 31, 2012 (In case you need a refresher:)
Iiiiit's....
Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness
;)
Can’t the wreckerators tell when something looks atrocious?
This is not a cake that would be served by any hostess!
;)
Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness!
So many times when I buy cakes I find it quite absurd
;)
How often bakery frosting can look like a pile of turds
;)
Or oozing sores…
;)
or vomit piles…
;)
or glistening, ruptured spleens
;)
I just want a dessert that won't turn all of my guests green!
Oh…..
Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness
;)
Can’t the wreckerators tell when something looks atrocious?
;)
This is not a cake that would be served by any hostess
;)
Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness!
(Move that away a little, I'm gonna die)
(Move that away a little, I'm gonna die)
Thanks to Kelly C., Paul W., Caitlin & Nanoo, Sue W., Jennifer S., Greg K., Dylan W., Lisa T., Heidi B., Jennifer H., and the always-amazing Sharyn for the song re-write!
Reader Comments (116)
Yum diddle diddle diddle
Yum diddle die...
I keep staring at the ruptured spleens cake, trying to imagine What They Were Thinking. Surely, SURELY those weren't meant to be.....balloons? This is going to bug me all day.
My three yr old was behind me when I was scrolling through these. His response..."Oh no! What happened to the cake!!" I most heartily concur.
Fantastic on the song and the turkey, oh my goodness...in all cake wreckness...it's fabulous! LOL
Is that a set of dentures on cake #3?
that first one.... what is that goat poop sprinkles? bleck
Never look at the Cakewrecks site while eating breakfast.......
Very Creative. Thank you for a good morning laugh.
Loving the colors on the spleen cake :)
Weird Al-worthy. Even down to the 'spleen' inclusion. Excellent.
Cake # 1 looks like someone with a horrendous cold sneezed on it. Cake #2 looks like, well, #2. And it gets less appetizing from there.
Carrot Penis for the win!!!!
It is fitting that before this Labor Day week-end, we see cakes clearly made with a labor of love. Just a quick look at three of them…
While to the novice, the first cake might look disgusting, it was actually made for the week-end picnic of the Portable Outdoor Outhouse Providers, or, as they are affectionately known, the P.O.O.P. Team. Celebrating all foods and drinks internally recycled, this vivid recreation of those “end products” is used in the picnic’s famous finale where one of the picnic-ers tries to consume the entire cake, playfully taunted by the others as they chant, “I bet you can’t eat the hole thing…"
The second cake celebrates the unique relationship between pumpkins and fertilizer. Many people are unaware of how much manure it actually takes to make one pumpkin, and this cake spatially shows that relationship. Entitled Pumpkins and Poop, this cake won the coveted Brown Ribbon at the annual Labor Day Picnic.
The third cake was made by a little known group that re-enacts events through the use of turtles. While slow to get started, they are a shell of a nice bunch, but shy and rarely stick their necks out. Their picnic this week-end features this stunning cake, a re-enactment of a scene from the rarely seen movie, “Bridge Over the River Koi.” Plans for next year include a unique 30 day event in which a turtle begin a walk while at the same time its owner starts using Rogaine. At the end of the month, they will measure the distance walked and the length of the locks. Not surprisingly, it’s called The Turtle and the Hair.
Happy Labor Day!
Oh, by the way….Pile of Turds, Oozing Sores, Vomit Piles, Ruptured Spleens…aren’t they all punk bands from the 60’s….?
@Sharyn: what is left to say….? My superlatives seem so mediocre…. To paraphrase an old kid’s saying, “The highest compliment in the world and double it on you!”
These cakes were hideous! They all made me laugh in disbelief. :) I simply can't fathom that the people turning out any of these cakes think they are shelf-worthy.
Anyone else see rotting brown teeth on the bridge in cake number 3????
Okay, the ruptured spleen cake has got to be one of the grossest things I've ever seen on here. The colors aren't appealing, the blobs look disgusting- it looks like entrails are coming out of each one. Add to that the speckles of heaven knows what on about half of them. Eww. And the first cake: what on earth are those THINGS on it? The ones that look like blackened pumpkin seeds or beans with a hurl-inducing greenish tint? Yuck.
#3 - I didn't realize Neanderthals even had prosthodontists...
#1 looks like a bad day at the sewage treatment plant.
This was great! I'm finding it extra funny cuz I'm wearing a shirt that says Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
you know what I think is the most disturbing? someone obviously took a bite of the last one... I'll be in the corner whimpering if you need me
Apparently I'm masochistic, because I realized I wasn't looking at the cakes as I worked to keep up with the song (which is AWESOME), so I scrolled back to look at them in detail</I>.
I felt particularly sorry for the turtles having to cross the poo-bridge, but then realized since the turtles are made of poo themselves, they're probably don't mind.
You had me at "glistening ruptured spleens!" Bwahahahaha
That was brilliant!!!
Best. Post. EVER!!!!
I was having a moment of fury, and then I read THIS and now I'm giggling with delight. Thank you, oh thank you for rocking my world yet again!
omg omg omg. I love this. Beautiful syllable alignment! Such precision.
Brilliant! Painfully, disgustingly BRILLIANT!
I totally knew that Sharyn wrote those lyrics, before I scrolled down to the end and read it! But now I'm sitting here wondering, is there really a "Sharyn", or is this Weird Al in drag?
when i looked at the one with the yellow thing (a bird?) sitting on that pile of brown, my first thought was "how did that bird have so much (four-letter word beginning with s) in it?".
The ruptured spleens are apparently supposed to be balloons, but who by the Seven Holy Frosting Spatulas makes balloons that look like those candy rock things? I mean really! And I'm trying to be kind when I compare them to those.
Well, you'll notice they took a forkful of a part that's not contributing to the gross appearance. Though, logically, this just increases the percentage of cake that looks bad.
Assuming that the part that is is actually edible, some partygoer (or the person who bought it) could "take one for the team" and take it into another room, take a picture (as someone did here), scoop the carrot-gone-horribly-wrong into a bowl, leaving as little trace of it as possible, stir it so that it no longer looks like anything other than yummy icing, and bring the rest back.
If anybody wants to know where the decorative icing in a carrot shape is, the person could then say, "It didn't really look like a carrot. If you really want to know what it did look like, I can show you, but I've gotta warn you, it's pretty unappetizing."
This post is almost perfect, however the chorus needs another syllable or two! Every time I read it to the song I imagine the word "utter" comes before "grossness"!
That last cake ... eww. Just eww.
I love you
Whoever made number 5 forgot the white
chocolate. Time to pull out the handy pages
That tell you how to make cakes so they don't
look like oozing sores. It's almost as bad as
the gravy cake version of that cake a co-worker
made
Shim-shimmery, shim-shimmery, shim-shimmery poo,
The turds will rub off as you cut through the goo.
Or blow me some chunks--'cause that's right to do!
(I love that movie, but I heartily recommend the original P. L. Travers books. Quite surreal.)
My 18 year old son and I actually sat here and sang your lyrics while the video played. Nice!!
#3 looks like it has a colon lying on top. Lol
Thank you, Jen and John! I am actually crying, I am laughing so hard. My husband just walked in and is worried I'm going to get dehydrated from reading CW. He's never even SEEN Mary Poppinsl. That must change. (I haven't seen that movie in almost 25 years - way, WAY back when I was in high school it was a favorite of two different families I babysat for, and I saw it - on VHS - a lot).
Haha! Genious.
Brilliant lyrics! I am grinning from ear to ear singing the rewrite. Hard to do because it made me laugh so much.
@FM Well said. Chireee!
Thank you so much! I just laughed so hard I cried. :)
Oh my gosh! I LOOOOOVE this post. Favorite in a long long time.
((Move that away a little, I'm gonna die)
Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness
It may not stump anyone at a spelling bee, but this has to be one of the most perfectly profound lines in all of lyricdom. Well done, Sharyn!
A mystery to ponder: why does anyone feel the need to make a turkey out of cake? Isn't the original delicious enough?
And how can anyone screw up the shape of a carrot?
The spleens . . . The spleens. Run for the hills!
This was such a wonderful post! Thanks for starting the holiday weekend off right!
Oh man.. I will never watch that movie again without your improved lyrics lol. Wow.. just wow at all the disgusting cakes they think customers will buy and often they are correct. Sheesh.
The one with the ruptured spleens look like (not so) little spermies... No bueno!
These cakes are definitely not a pretty sight.
Now I'm waiting for Sunday Sweets. :)
I was so captivated by the song, that I had to see (and hear in my head) what came next as soon as I could, so I barely looked at the cakes in between. Haha!
Great song! Disgusting cakes!
Once again, you've amazed me with your brilliance! Bingo cakes and most particularly song!!