Sometimes You Really Have To Go-Go
June 21, 2012 (Note: In case your Wham's a little rusty, I've embedded the music video at the bottom of today's post.)
(Also, "Rusty Wham" is the name of my Peter Gabriel cover band.)
You caught me off guard right from the start
You got me all fired up with your bean pop tarts
;)
My colon's not been the same
;)
But something's wrong here
Something ain't right
My roommate told me what you did last night
Left a "present" in my bed
;)
I was sleepin', but the smell could've raised the dead!
Wake me up before you go-go
'Cuz poopin' in a girl's bed's a no-no
;)
Wake me up before you go-go
I don't want to be here when you need two-ply
;)
Wake me up before you go-go
I think this date has just reached a new low
Wake me up before you go-go
;)
(yeah, yeah!)
;)
What the heck, man, have you no shame?
;)
The term "crappy date"'ll never be the same.
'Cuz you're so crazy, I'm a fool
Shoulda known better when you peed the pool
;)
Get out, baby, this ain't right
'Scuse my British, but you're so full of shite!
;)
Wake me up before you go-go
I think this date has just reached a new low
Wake me up before you go-go
;)
;)
(No, no, no!)
Thanks to Jennifer G., Erin S., Kathy B., R.W., Kylie N., Becki N., Marisa F., Jamie G., Colleen C., Leigh B., Chelsea H., & Lisa R., for helping me get that out of my system.
Reader Comments (95)
This just made me realize that at 15 I had NO gay-dar whatsoever......
And they say nice girls don't like toilet humor..........Mahahahahahahahaha!
To Sharyn, The idea of your cat sitting next to you and releasing stealth farts while you read this blog cracked me up! Me thinks your funny little stinker has been eating too many cake wrecks. ;)
OK, this was the one morning that I decided to look at Cake Wrecks while I was eating breakfast. "You left your skid marks on my duvet" had me howling! But I barely made it through the photos and had to stop so I could finish eating.
So then I called up this site again on my phone while I was at the College World Series, waiting for the Kent State-South Carolina game to begin this morning. It's a good thing that at that time, @zoomom had not posted her comment about the Defe-Caker. Because it was bad enough that all these baseball fans were wondering what I was giggling about as I read through the comments. The Defe-Caker had me snorting! They probably would have ejected me from the stands.
Love it!
Has me wanting one of those poo-with-a-hat cupcakes to go with my poopaccino.(google it - Dave Barry - hilarious!)
:) vibro-laughter indeed!!!
This was the BEST. POST. EVAH!!!!! Love me some Wham, despite the absolute ridiculousness of that video! (P.S. I think that 6th cake is _trying_ to say "40 is a-callin' ")
So, for kicks and giggles, I figured listening to the video and reading through the post would be a awesome. Great rhythm, Jen! The glow-in-the-dark section that came on partway through the video was pure 80s insanity. That certainly explains quite a bit about the decade. :)
In the "40th is a catten" cake is that knight defending a refinery? A wastewater treatment plant?
Poor Woody..... :(
Oh CRAP
We need to tell these bakers that chocolate frosting should NEVER be piped through a circle tip. Always use a star or leaf tip to avoid "accidents"
Howdy, doody!
ROFLMAO..
Outstanding post today...an instant classic...you've done your doody to make us laugh...uncontrolably... Please put this in the next book...please!!
@zoomom...lol...good work!
OH! I think lysafulb may be right about the 6th cake. "40th is a-callin'" makes more sense than catten. :)
I can't tell you how glad I wasn't reading this post over breakfast! D:
My 4 year old looks at the screen and says "lots of poop on that cake." If she can see it...
This is one of my top five favorite Cakewrecks posts. You make beautiful music...wrecky.
The cakes were uniformly unfortunate, but the video! That's what had me shrieking with laughter. George Michael looked like a rather pretty version of Richard Simmons in those teeny tiny shorts. Oh, and Buckeyes absolutely come from Ohio State. Oregon State U is the home of the Beavers.
Theardare is having to rethink his entire approach to wreck doubters. Poor kitty, he was so focused on Manilow that he totally forgot about Wham! But as Sharyn can attest, cats have a wide variety of tortures in their arsenal.
#2 Why Shiny?!?! I don't care if that's how you see your job. Did Lucas need to know that? Did any of us?
#5 In a (thankfully) deleted scene from 'Toy Story', Woody and Buzz are hanging out on the bank of a famous creek. Note the absence of paddles.
#6 That awful moment when you realize no one else has the faintest idea what you were thinking. "40th is a callin"? The 40th what? The 40th regiment of Fighting Fencers, making the modern metropolis safe against attack by centaurs. The plan: face them at the toxic waste dump and cause them to laugh until too weak to charge. NOW it makes sense. (help)
#7 Why are there two of these? Did the wreckorator seriously think, "That looks so appetizing, I think I'll make another one just like it."
#8 "These cupcakes need something to keep them from looking like poo piles. I know -- hat picks!"
#12 Just a hunch: This was commissioned by / made by someone who doesn't like OSU. It's a radical theory, I know, but I'm standing by it. (Cue the OSU EPCOT in 3...2...1)
After those, I need something pleasant to look at. (glances at video link) Nope, that ain't it. Is George really wearing Depends? That is just one of the things about Wham! I have no interest in knowing.
An Ohio State Buckeye? If I squint. An Oregon State Beaver? No way, and that was yesterday's theme. An Oklahoma State Cowboy cake. PLOP, plop ("Ah, yes" in Catten, the expressive language of cattle.)
Was eating Vegemite toast and the skid marks on the duvet hit a bit too close to home. I've finished breakfast now :(
Somebody already beat me to poocano. Well played!
@Ian Malcolm at least one person got it! (points to self) though you could have said "must go faster"
@zoomom for the win! that was vile and disgusting. :D
I've always loved that song. :) And I'm glad I already ate before looking at this...
Wow. One, that has got to be the most pathetic buckeyes I've ever seen attempted (I can't bring myself to say 'created.') Two, I have to agree with an earlier poster- it takes "talent" to make chocolate look unappetizing. There's a whole pile of "talent" of that caliber on display here.
Ahhhhhhhh evil earworm!!! I also can't stop staring at the cupcakes with hats. Maybe they are evil too?
Oh man I think I am going to die. Wham and those cakes..just pushed me over the edge into laughter insanity lol. My neighbors are probably calling the men in white coats now so I better lock the door and hide. Loved this post!
Is that OSU one Oklahoma State University by any chance? Oklahoma represent!
Ahhhhh,......... the 80s - when we thought George Michael was straight and Michael Jackson was black.
The last one (OSU) is 100% Ohio State University. I should know. I go there. Although it was exciting to see something that relates to me on Cake Wrecks, I think I could have passed on seeing a mangled buckeye. I think it looks more like a giant buckeye candy rather than a cake. If it is a cake, the bakers were ridiculous to think that pouring melted chocolate over a cake a and squeezing a pile of peanut butter frosting on it... bad decisions. It's what cake wrecks was built upon.
Poo cake! I love the Bob the builder pic, it looks like fresh juicy poo! LMAO
I would so let you go go in my bed if you promised to wear the shorts and yellow fingerless gloves.
I LOVE this blog! I couldn't stop laughing at this post in particular. The dog really liked it too. Ha ha!
Well, better late than impacted... but I just wanted to say I had nothing to do with any of these cakes.
Oregon State U's mascot is a beaver.
That could possibly be a beaver mound, but it really looks like a turd volcano.
A turdcano?
Priceless. I think my favorite cakewreck commentary EVER.
buckeye mouse is correct, as it IS a buckeye. But, it is also the colors for Oregon State. So, the cake could be for Ohio, with the correct mascot, or for Oregon with the correct colors and is a pile of poo!
My typing got ahead of my brain in the other post! I live in Oregon too!
Poop with hats!? Poop with HATS?? POOP WITH HATS!!!!??? LOL. I think I'm going to have to make some Poop With Hats jewelry or something to commemorate this. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen!
I don't get the "Cars" cake. Are they supposed to be mesas? They look more like a mess-ahh!!
Wow, these are gross! I'm glad you linked to the song; I sang along with the post! :D
While the pooh cakes were funny, what I found truly laughable were the women in the front row of the Wham concert on the video clip...they really had NO IDEA that George Michael wanted nothing to do with them. Sad.
Oh Em Gee.
I want to sing this song, so bad. (I mean, so well. Whatever.)
*ponders*
I know where I can find a karaoke track of this.
So, so tempted.
(And I mean that as the utmost compliment. This is a brilliant parody.)
That last one looks unsettlingly like cat puke... Erupting out of a volcano?
I'm pretty sure the OSU one was supposed to look like a Buckeye candy rather than a real buckeye, but it's still pretty scary.
Oh my gosh I have so much to say . . . the short-shorts, the blinding white teeth, the girls fawning at the so so obviously gay man . . . . I can't even remember what this had to do with a cake . . . what were we talking about again . . . does it matter?
Thank you for posting my son's "crappy" Woody cake! He was in love with toy story and we were all shocked at the cake we received! After some ANALyzing, we realized that his diarrea was supposed to be a lasso. Runny icing? Either way, we can laugh about it now and Dylan got a real professional cake for his birthday this year!
Just like this song, the cakes don't make any sense either.
I don't remember this video but GM had some scary teeth!