Friday
Dec142012
HE SEES YOU: A Holiday Horror Story
December 14, 2012 [movie announcer guy]:
This Christmas...
get ready...
for a one horse...
open...
SLAY.
;)
"AAAIIIIEEEEE!!"
Run as fast as you can...
;)
And don't go outside:
;)
"ZOMBIE PENGUIN!"
And never...
;)
"THEY'RE COMING!"
EVER...
"Oh, thank goodness we found you, Santa! ....Santa?"
;)
"AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!"
...FALL ASLEEP. ;)
"He's not real. He's not real. HE'S NOT REAL."
;)
"He's... right behind me, isn't he?
"Great. Juuuuust great."
[child singing]
He sees you when you're sleeping
He know when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good...
;)
;)
;)
;)
...OR DIE.
Thanks to Erinn M., Aymara A., Gene H., Ben & Janelle, Chandria D., Zach R., Ann H., & Shannon S., who better watch out, and they better not cry, because wusses get left behind.
Reader Comments (78)
That bear is . . . yeah. I really would not want to find that looking at me across the table. *shudder*
Thank you so much for the laughter. Today of all days I need to smile. God Bless you and your family.
Jen: no worries about this post. Who could have dreamed of the real-life horror today?
I usually don't get to check this until evening, but it always makes my day. There are so many who start their day with laughter by checking your blog. Thank you for giving us all the laughs!
That said, I am NOT going to bake gingerbread this year. If I do, I won't sleep for weeks. Yikes!
re black-poo penguin. Black tarry stools are a symptom of gastric bleeding, and should not be used to "decorate" a cake.
Thanks for this. You mentioned in your next post that some people didn't like this, but it totally made me feel better. :D Thanks.
Ahehehe
I needed this laugh today!! Laughter is always the best medicine! Fabulous as always Jen
(here's my own attempt at a haiku)
On a day so dark
What we need to do is laugh
Cake Wrecks paves the way
Honestly, as terrible as today's events were, I see nothing wrong with this post. It was unintentional, all in good fun and while the timing could have been better, no reason to pull it. Typically, I just check out the Sunday Sweets and only stopped in because I saw the most recent post.
What happened today is a tragedy, there is no doubt. But that has nothing to do with Cake Wrecks and the two are unrelated. While some may feel this is in poor taste, you're just seemingly looking to be sensitive. Let's focus on the real issues at hand here - children were murdered in cold blood. I've been choking back tears all day, I'm going to school because I want to protect children and this whole mess highlights how, yet again, powerless I'll be to actually do anything. If you want to take up a cause, worry about children's rights, gun rights, donating to these families in a time of need - but don't target comedy sites. It's serves no point and does no justice for those involved in today's events.
Well I for one fear that gingerbread clown looking thing lol. And for that last cake..eeeeee hide me lol. Man what wreckerator makes Christmas into a Halloween show? I sort of want to meet them hehe.
My thoughts & prayers are with the folks affected by the horrible tragedy in Connecticut..but you had *nothing* to do with that monster and his actions.
Don't let the nutballs win. Sometimes we all need to laugh: it's either that or cry. Cake Wrecks is a force for good in the world and this is a brilliant post.
Anna and Kathy are wrong, as wrong can be. We cannot stop being just because a sick person cause unimaginable harm. Changing or taking down this post would not fix anything, nor is it harming anything to leave it up. It has absolutely nothing to do with what happened in Conn. it's ridiculous to expect everyone to suddenly stop being who they are, or doing what they do, because of a tragedy. Anyone who expects that can isolate themselves. Leave the rest of us alone to deal with it as we choose. Of course, my prayers go out for all those parents and families.
OMG the zombie santa is awesome.
That was hilarious!!!!! Biggest laugh I've had in a long time.
Ouch on the timing, but I don't think this post needs to be taken down. It was an unfortunate coincidence, and joking about horror movies doesn't equal wishing death on people, so I don't think it's that bad.
The crying snowman is giving me the creeps. Are its eyelashes reminding anyone else of Caliborn and Calliope in Homestuck? (Little green skull-like aliens with long eyelashes.)
Nikki, hyphen8 & Helena:
Well said. And ditto.
So glad you didn't pull the post. People heal in many ways, and for me, it's looking at incredibly hilarious cakes. So thanks for helping *some of us* heal.
Santa Bear... SO. TERRIFYING. And funny! Thanks for the laugh, Jen. I really needed that today. Thanks also for being so considerate and posting the sweet dove. *hugs*
I agree with Nikki, hyphen8, Helena and Craig
Ditto ditto
Off topic: I wasn't here on Friday because I didn't feel up to laughing. I decided to stay away temporarily but I am so very, very glad others were able to come and enjoy and I can read the results now that I'm more balanced (it's certainly not okay yet). {GROUP HUG}
Honestly, that gingerbread man's shirt is so wild I was staring at it and didn't see the maniacal grin right away. I thought it was a good tr- OMG KILLITWITHFIREKILLITWITHFIRE.
yeah. THOSE are the ones that freak me out the most- when it takes a moment to notice the horror. I hope I'm more observant when the zombie apocalypse comes otherwise I'm going down in the first way. (sorry in advance for biting anyone)
Oh, Sharyn, Queen of the Cake Songs!! I'm gonna play "Thriller" on YouTube and sing your lyrics!! :D
(the line "When Evil Claus came from the rear" is making me giggle like a 13 year old, however. I cannot apologize enough for my gutter mind some days.)
I'm delurking to say how much I appreciate the thought that went into this post...love the creepy. And the timing? Well, not at all your fault, and those who weren't able to appreciate this post probably shouldn't have read it. It's not like your readers don't expect this kind of humor from you! And we love it!
Thanks too for the other post with the doves. Perfect. And thanks too for your tender heart. I cried, too, on Friday, and I could easily do so now (sniff). Tears and laughter are both, always appropriate when we grieve. Thanks for giving your readers space to share both.
And btw, since I'm a more frequent Epbot reader, if someone sneaks in a steals some of those fabulous little touches in your house, I don't know anything about it. Just sayin'/
Barbara Anne, tsk, tsk! I had no idea your mind was sooo naughty! For shame! ;-)
And yeah, that gingerbread man is positively psychedelic! Eeek! I'm gonna have nightmares where despite all my weapons, my nun chucks, my escrimas, my bo, my throwing stars, he'll just rise up & keep coming and coming and...AAIIGGHH!!!
Well said @Katie, @Lily in Labrador and @Billie H... bad things will happen every day and if posted before the news breaks, why not leave it there. Can't fault anyone for that.
Keep up the great work guys!
After everything that happened in CT, we need Cake Wrecks to make us laugh. Thanks for making my day better.
OMG Thank you for posting this. I am so tired of crying everytime I watch the news. Laughter takes the pain away for a little while. That being said the Gingerbread Man trult disturbing lol
Dear lord. That last bear-thing or whatever it is reminds me of Shadowlurker in cake form. (http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m16a7yGKab1r587rlo1_500.jpg)
I will never be the same. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
@ sharyn ROTLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!
@ Xmas teddy bear
you are the SCARIEST TEDDY BEAR EVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! those eyes, those cold desserts have seen my soul! *wipes tears from eyes*
The zooming up on the eyes at the end of the post made me laugh my head off! Hilarious!