This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul
January 5, 2012 I thought most of the world had already seen the demon marzipan piggy that went viral Christmas week, but then again - judging by John's horrified screams of laughter when he spotted it on my screen last night - maybe not.
So, without further ado, lock up the children, grab your security blanket, and prepare to meet your newest nightmare:
;)
Not kosher, man. NOT KOSHER.
Jonas L. made this for two little girls, if you can believe it, and there are multiple disturbing photos of said children gleefully dissecting zombie Wilbur over on his website. I think it goes without saying that hogging this cake may be a real boar, but it will definitely make you squeal.
And while it ill behooves me to butt in with gratuitous pork butt pictures, this one is sooieeet!
;)
And by "sooieeet" I mean I just became a vegetarian.
Thanks, internet.
BONUS PIGGY PUN:
Q: Why do pigs hate magic?
A: Because Hogwarts make them itchy!
BWAHAHAHAAA!!
Sorry.
Reader Comments (210)
I'm so glad someone else thought of fetal pigs to disect in biology class. They were disgusting and so is this. Yuck!!
It looks like the infantata from american horror story
Hopefully that's the geico pig so I don't have to listen to anymore of those horrible squealing commercials.
That. is. so. disturbing. Sooo disturbing.
An hour later...I still have no words....I just shudder when I look at the pictures
This is the best thing. Ever. I'm in love.
after all this time, you'd think I'd know not to click on links (yes, pun). currently thankful that I only have turkey sausage in the fridge. it's worse than the blue baby cake but seemingly as well recieved by the intended audience. :) that is a beautifully rendered piggy except for the demonic eyes.
@ Gary- dude, that limerick was demented (or is that Demento'd?)
Actual conversation with my husband -
Me: "Want to see the most disturbing cake you've ever seen?"
Hubby: "Baby, it'd have to be pretty damn distur....WHOOOOOAH!!!"
Me: "Wait! It gets better!"
Hubby: "Is that a butthole?!?"
Yeah, it's that bad....
Blehhh. Never. Eating. Anything. Ever. Again.
And Linda, it weighed 22 lbs.
Thank you oh so greatly for the nightmares I shall have tonight. I appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to huddle in a corner, hug myself while rocking back and forth, and trying not to scream bloody murder.
Yup.
I stopped being an English lit major because I was asked to write a paper on a poem by Ted Hughes called "View of a Dead Pig." I had forgotten that until now. Thank you for reminding me, I feel much more validated in my choice.
@Liz - I was too much in shock to laugh at this post...until I read you comment! Thanks!
@JamieJo - I also had flashbacks to HS Biology class. My lab partners were all football players. You don't want to know what they did to our pig....
Omg. Was eating Canadian ham pizza when I saw this. Maybe not the best idea.....
It's not the butthole that gets my attention. It's the face - the look of suffering. And, yeah, they have a**holes just like us.
I really like animals and know that pigs make great pets even and are intelligent. Then to see this little animal stretched out like the slab of meat it is visually - is real. Much more honest than the sanitized packages of cellophane and plastic wrap that makes us forget where our meal comes from. So, I guess thanks for an honest piece of art.
This is terrifying. I can't imagine eating this!!! Waaay worse than the armadillo groom's cake from the movie Steel Magnolias!
Gaaah! What has been seen cannot be unseen!
EGADS, that's awful! At least you are gracious enough to warn us, and we're able to clear the children and those with weak stomachs away from the computer screen before we scroll down to our "newest nightmare"! Posts like these make me so thankful for the Sunday Sweets, where we can refresh our brains from these monstrosities and regain our faith in the confectionary arts! Let the countdown to Sunday begin....!
It is disturbing as far as a cake, but I will say this much - this is fantastically done. For someone to have created this cake with the details like they did - even if anatomically correct, shows skills that I personally wish I could do with clay.
Mind you I wouldn't do a cake like this, but if I had the talent this person does... I'd use it for many things. (Though dead pig cakes - like the baby cake - wouldn't be on top of my list.
All I could think was "My God, what is that thing?"
There are no words... nope no words for this so I am fleeing to the safety of my bed and hoping it doesn't haunt my dreams lol.
i see many hours of therapy for those kids in the future!
That is a VERY realistic looking pig!
As one commenter stated earlier, there is a tradition in Northern Europe of giving a marzipan pig for Christmas or New Year.
I found this on eHow
A marzipan pig is a confection made of marzipan, a paste of almonds and sugar, and formed into the shape of a small pig. In Germany, Norway and Denmark, the gift of a marzipan pig at Christmas and New Year's symbolizes good luck and fortune in the year to come. Marzipan pigs are sometimes presented with four-leaf clovers, coins or other symbols of good luck in their mouths.
Now, in Holland we have a tradition of making full marzipan pigs for Sinterklaas (the one where 'Black Pete' also stars). But that is usually solid marzipan. However, they NEVER look this anatomically correct.
This is very disturbing. I'll go sit in a corner with a blanket over my head now, while silently crying and gently rocking back and forth.
Hi. I found you through Pinterest, and I'm featuring your Cardinal Cake today as one of my pinterest picks for my Friday Favorites event today!
This little piggy went to market....and ended up at the abattoir.
This picture was bad enough but I've just checked out his website and the pictures of those little girls gouging out the eyeballs with a knife and dissecting it in such detail I found quite disturbing!!
Fantastic talent but spoiled by the nature of the cake!
That is AWESOME! Disgusting, creepy, icky, all of that yes. But it's still awesome!
Pleeeeease tell me it's bacon and maple flavored marzipan?! I wish it was cake and not solid marzipan, but this is so awesome.
My daughter who is 6 would be digging right in with those girls and loving every moment. In fact, I better not show this to her or she's gonna want it for her birthday cake. Maybe we can compromise on zombie My Little Pony.
Pleeeeease tell me it's bacon and maple flavored marzipan?! I wish it was cake and not solid marzipan, but this is so awesome.
My daughter who is 6 would be digging right in with those girls and loving every moment. In fact, I better not show this to her or she's gonna want it for her birthday cake. Maybe we can compromise on zombie My Little Pony.
My jaw dropped when I got to this in my email today; SO glad no one was passing my cubicle!
#barfing
I also just became vegetarian... and I think my face turned green.... that's HORRIBLE!!!
.... Why..... Why did they stab it in the ass with a butter knife?!
I ... just .... WHY?
Why would you even consider making that as a Christmas present?!
WHY WOULD YOU LET SOMEONE GIVE THAT TO YOUR CHILD?
Follow the link to the pics! WOW Those girls need some psychological help! Why would you let your child stick a knife up the pig's butt - even if it IS fake!? AND why would you let your child stand on the table dissect it???
I've never seen anything that looked so much like a dead pig which wasn't actually a dead pig. Wow.
I emailed this post to my mom and also told her to follow the link in the post to the little girls dissecting the pig. Her response was awesome:
"The designer is very talented, I'm not sure why one would make a demonic pig cake but to each his own. Watching the girls was watching you. My kids would have been just as curious and I would have encouraged that – maybe we are looking at future vets. You never know what is going to inspire an interest in something with kids. It may look rather Dexter-ish but that doesn’t make it an activity kids shouldn’t do. Yep, it looks like the stuff horror is made of but I think it’s great."
"I hit send as I thought of my last line. You do not have a, let’s see, a conventional mother, in some aspects. I don’t think I would hit any high scores on the best mothering techniques for encouraging children to massacre a dead pig ."
Gotta love my mom! LOL!!!!!
Oh! That is just wrong on quite a few levels! o.O
My 9 year old was standing behind me when I brought up this post. He looked at it rather quizzically and asked me, "what's wrong with that pig? Is it possessed or something?" And then I scrolled down to the, um well, lets just say the rump roasts and he asked. "Did someone shoot it?!?!?" I had to close the tab and take a break til I could stop laughing.
Food monstrosity
gives us the stink-eye; stink-valve
is for good measure.
~~~
I have been flat-on-my-back sick for a horrible, no-good, very bad week. Week of my life, gone forever!
I am now having flashbacks to 8th grade dissecting the fetal pigs... Thanks, Cake Wrecks.....
;)
Why does the pig's butt hole look so ... abused???
@Haiku Joy, brilliant poem for a horrific monstrocity! Here's hoping you feel better soon - your regular contributions are an asset to all of us (no rump pun intended).
My mouth just went dry in horror. Need water or go heave. Seriously rethinking meat. Ai.
Thank you, Anne-Marie. :-) I thought it unlikely for anyone to find my haiku after so many comments, and it's so pleasant to have both feedback and warm wishes for my health.
Your rump pun, and Naomi and Gary's contributions in general, put me in mind of a special song I heard once in a mockumentary:
Pig bottom, pig bottom.
Talk about bum cakes, marzipan's got 'em!
Pig bottom, drive me out of my mind!
How could I leave this behind?
That is SO SO SO creepy! Arrrrghhh! *Runs and hides*
Anyone else reminded of the zombie pigmen in Minecraft?
Holy Crap!!! I am having a Vietnamese tea ceremony wedding and as part of our tradition we have to get a whole roasted pig, maybe I'll just opt for this pig cake instead, it's pretty badass!
Who? What? WHY??
Really?
A scary looking pig as a cake? Why??
Oh my. I would not eat that & I'd probably scream if I seen it in real-life.
My brother loves ham. Now I have weapons. Thanks! But really? really?! Must my school be brought into this? This little Ravenclaw is unhappy with the accuracy for once.
"Can't sleep...pig will eat me...can't sleep...pig will eat me..."