Haven't You Always Wanted a Monkey?
December 7, 2011 One of my favorite new internet celebrities has to be Copernicus the homicidal monkey. C'mon. He's a monkey, and he wants to kill you. What's not to love?
Happily, it appears I'm not the only one who thinks a homicidal monkey is perfect birthday cake material:
;)
"Remember, kids: A hug is just a strangle you haven't finished yet!"
If you're not familiar with Copernicus, I recommend hopping over to this post by the Bloggess for a (hilarious) explanation. However, believe me when I say that "creepy homicidal monkey" really does sum it up nicely.
;)
"Did you know that monkeys are really cute? And are in no way able to kill you with a banana? It's true. And if you believe that, here, try this banana."
;)
"No no, really, you go on to sleep. I'll just sit here, quietly, and watch.
While sharpening my extensive collection of Ginsu knives."
;)
"What's that? You find my stare unnerving? Then maybe you should just close your eyes. Theeere you go. Aaaaalll better."
;)
"Hey, I actually enjoy a good party. Confined spaces, unsuspecting revelers with alcohol-dulled reflexes, and funny hats? Why, that's a Saturday night, right there.
"Of course, during the week I mostly look forward to killing time.
"We can quibble over definitions later."
And finally, I'd like to take a moment to remind you all of the importance of eye contact.
;)
Especially when plotting double homicides and eating bananas.
Thanks to Jocelyn T., Kelly E., Deirdre M., Jessica, April G., & Tiffany for putting the "stab" back in this establishment.
Reader Comments (77)
Jenny and the Barenakedladies!! I Love You!!
The frog monkeys may have some Lovecraft connection. But I think #2 is Bogfoot clutching something banana like in the hopes that he will be unobserved by monster hunters. (Who will, I think, focus on the frog monkeys.)
I just realized, and thank this post for jogging my memory, that I made a homemade monkey cake for my 18 year-old's 1st birthday. I really should dig out that photo...I'm sure it was a Cakewreck...and it was banana cake with chocolate frosting!
Before the island, there was... 'The Bakery of Dr. Moreau'!
"Poor creatures -- part monkey, part frog. They had a plot to jump the doctor, but before they could swing it, they croaked."
And a big happy 3rd birthday, anonymous kid-who-will-now-be-permanently-terrified-of-all-bipeds!
LOVE LOVE LOVE that you paid homage to The Bloggess and Copernicus! Much like you, she is hysterical, but in a maniacal, scary way. ;) I actually bought a coworker the "hug is a strangle you haven't finished yet" shirt and had it shipped to him so he got it a couple of days after I moved out of the area. I hear he wears it with pride.
Now, I must go continue my quest to find a big f'ing metal chicken. :)
1) YAY!!! Copernicus
2) That first "monkey" looks like somone thought jamming Mickey Mouse ears on a pile of poo would be an improvement.
3) Is there any evidence that sasquatch is a monkey? (And I think Sara A. may be right - that doesn' treally look like a banana he's holding.)
Thank goodness I’m not the only one who thought #2 was courtesy of ‘The Simpsons!’” Unfortunately, I saw Sasquatch who is definitely not a monkey. He scares me worse. I’ve met nice monkeys.
@Flartus- all wreckerators have talent! What are you thinking- that there’s so many talentless hacks out there that someone could run a blog for YEARS showcasing their less-than-awesome skills? Sheesh.
@Gary- no, I hadn’t noticed the place for the knife. Thanks for sharing. As if this post wasn’t creepy enough. Ruh-roh, indeed. (Next time we have an Epcot you’re bringing the
Scooby snax!)
WOOOOO HOOOOOO: Jenny, the Bloggess, commented! :D (Hope she read Gary’s limerick!)
Thanks, Jen, now that thing is gonna give me some serious nightmares. For the next week and a half. :P
Monkey-Frogs: the cake version of Weeping Angels!
=^..^=
Bloggess AND Cakewrecks? I'm in bloggy heaven ... no, seriously. I made the mistake of turning my back on Copernicus.
The second to last one looks like Simba.
Man and I thought clowns were bad. Now it's time to fear the homicidal manic poo monkey. Who just might eat a clown from the looks of some of those cakes. Now that I might wanna see lol. Ah the nightmares that are coming from this alone.
I love you. I love your blog. I love the bloggess. However her site is rated R, and I think a warning in your post is warranted. My kids know sometimes cakewrecks is a little PG-13, but you always warn them so they know to proceed with caution reading that day's post. Knock, Knock....
The first one looks like he came back from Disney.
and this is why I hate monkeys, except for the one in Prometheus and Bob.
I think my sons are scarred for life. 5 yr. old said re: last one: That's the creepiest monkey I've ever seen! (It really is much cuter to hear it live and in person.)
@ Arlene : Just when you thought it was safe to sleep with the lights off ..... there's at least one monkey-clown in this scary array. ( Voiceover with creepy circus carnival music from 1950s horror film: "Evvvverybody wants a monnnnkey...")
So its now 1:30 am up here in Edmonton...... Alberta. ...... Can na da. Nevermind its north. Back to the point..... Its one in the morning and the song reference finally clicked in my head. I knew the title to this post was a song lyric but I couldn't place it. And I didn't want to cheat by looking at the comments. So while googling sock monstrous then sock monkies it finally clicked. Now I feel better. Also I now know how to make sock monsters for Christmas presents.
All spelling errors can be blamed on Autocorrect and the fact that it is one in the morning and I now have that song stuck in my head.
The 4th monkey down reminds me of the severed
head in a jar from "The Silence of the Lambs".
I laughed my ass off reading the Bloggess' post about Copernicus.
My husband by now has just learned to ignore me.
The dogs, however, still look at me funny. Fortunately not in a homicidal monkey way.
There's no way I'm sleeping well tonight. And I'm not just referring to Copernicus.
We love Copernicus! And I am totally taking credit for this since I gave you the print out of our correspondence with The Bloggess at your book-signing in Orlando. What, no room for a "Thank you Ariel, World's Coolest Mom, you rock!"? *Sniffle* That's ok, I'll get over it.*muffled sob* No, really, just glad I could make you laugh. I'll be fine. What's that? Oh, the door. "Be right there!" Now who could this be? Copernicus?!? Is that really you? Jen sent you? She said stop making smart ass comments on her site? Well, O.K. I guess. Aww, what's that, you want me to pick you up? Sure! Come here you sweet little monkey. Give Auntie Ariel a hug. Awwww, that's so sweet. You have quite a grip there, sweetie. O.K., that's enough, you can let go now. YOU CAN LET GO NOW! COPERNICUS! COPERNICUS! AAAAAAAUGGGGHHHHHHH!
You get a million internets for referencing a BNL song!
AhHAH!! Jen, you have missed a trick, this is the second time you have reused photos of the last monkey and one of the beetle cakes from chocolate day. Also, why is Copernicus- AAAAAAGGGHHHH GODDDDDD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ggglaahh...
is it just me or is anyone else wondering what these creatures are. once I thought I was seeing Sasquatches with a banana.
Waaaay back in the 80's, children, there were very simple computers. And very simple computer games, the names of most of which I have mercifully forgotten.
Monkey #2 brings one of them back quite sharply. It featured two identical gorillas, standing on top of two identical Empire State buildings, throwing exploding bananas at each other. When one building was damaged enough to fall down, that player lost. IIRC, those demented gorillas looked very much like this one.
Oh great. Now I have Barenaked Ladies singing in my head, ”if I haaad a million doooolaaaars....I'd be rich!” Lmbo That's ok I love that song :)
The third and fourth ones to me looked like brown frogs..... or frog-monkeys........ or fronkeys!